Nanny or Grandma

My daughter asked me what I wanted to be called and I said 'Nana' as did her Mil. If the little one needs to differentiate she calls us Nana Sandra or Nana Lou. Maybe an idea to ask your daughter what she would like you to be called so that you feel better about the situation.

Steady on CrochetJo, you're starting to sound a bit judgemental/controlling yourself, ("lets get this straight" etc etc)? It could be something you don't think is there?-if you don't even entertain the idea, then it could be there, but you don't know it?You must want our advice, or wouldn't be on here.we all mean well, and are on your side. But at least try think back to see if there's ANY reason, whatsoever, that you didn't mean, that your DD, being pregnant/ new mum, could not have maybe taken the wrong way? Then you can sort it.or she could just dislike the name Nanny, but will prefer something else instead.simple as that.

My son has a Grandma, not a Nanny - which to me is a goat!! Also I cant be doing with each grandparent being called something different - if we needed to distinguish then we just added their name on the end.

I think what the baby calls you is going to be the least of your problems but 5 days after their arrival is far too soon to get into who is called what. Even supposing Nanny was agreed to the baby might choose something different. Whatever you do don’t get into any kind of argument with the other grandparents.

I'm not sure i agree that everyone has the RIGHT to be called what they like. For their own forename that friends and relatives use - yes. But when it comes to deciding what your grandchild should call you, I think your daughter has some rights too.
Maybe Nana has some sort of negative connotation for her becasue of your mother. Perhaps you should ask her what she would like you to be called and then negotiate?
Incidentally - what about .Nonna. - is that the Italian name for grandmother? I rather like it.
Don't let this spoil your pleasure in the baby - just let it lie if necessary, for the time being.

Early days CrochetJo and congratulations. Your daughter is a new Mum and sometimes they have to have someone to lash out at and who is the nearest candidate why Mum of course. I always said I’d wait for the grandkids to name me. My youngest grandson who is eight is always incredulous when his teachers refer to us as grandma and granddad. ‘Don’t they know you’re BoBo and DaDa? These are the names our eldest grandson christened us and have stuck with their cousin now also using the same. She has a new baby brother or sister due who I’m sure will use the same names. I love my name as it feels so special!

I'm one of those who'd never wanted to be called Nanny but obviously that's fine for those who like it. I quite like Nana, although it's also the dog in Peter Pan of course. My grandchildren just call us by our first names. Have you run that option past your daughter?

Very proud to be called Nannie, not once did I think I was a goat, what a odd post Janeea, totally agree MissAdventure

I personally am ok with nanna, but nanny sounds like a childs governess from the (posh) old days!

There MUST be some underlying reason (despite you having no idea what it is?)why your daughter gives the term to the other 3 grandparents but not you?and you must get to bottom of it! (-Could it be that she mistakenly believes it wasn't her boyfriends dad who thought she shouldnt have the baby,but you?)Her BF could have not wanted her to think that of his own father, so could have given her wrong end of the stick, or she got wrong idea herself from something youve said at hearing news?like as ambiguous as "but you're both so young!" She hormonally could have interpreted that to mean you meant something you did not- resulting in crossed wires, and your DD thinking you 'don't deserve to be called the baby's gran'?! It is probably a complete misunderstanding, but needs to be tackled, gently, or might mean a lot of wrongful heartache for you both.

Have you asked them what alternative they would suggest? It’s been an emotional time for all of you so give it a little time.

Don't people think you're a potato, though?

Has your daughter actually said what she would like your name to be?
I'm afraid I'm not a fan of Nanny/Nana either. There are lots of other choices, I'm Tatty to my grandchildren and now that they're adults, to their partners too.

Your post says your daughter reacted quite nastily. Why did she need to react like that? Is she unhappy about something. Goodness it’s only a name and I think you have every right to be called what you want but don’t take her response to heart. She has a daughter that luckily you have taken into your home plus the child’s father and she reacts nastily when you express a wish! I hope her power of control fades when she needs your support looking after it.

Many congratulations on the birth of your grandchild! How wonderful and you will be so involved too, lucky you. What's in a name, as Shakespeare said? Had similar issues but with grandfather names. Now, delightfully, our grandchild has a come out with their own unique name for my husband, and he us tickled pink! It is so special and we hope it stays. The same may happen to you. One of my grandmothers was 'Nana' which may be a compromise for you? Perhaps you could start calling yourself that ("Come to Nana") and see how it all evolves once baby starts making sounds. Don't let it spoil this precious time, but I completely understand your feelings. Emotions are very high at this time. xx

I don’t mind what they call me, as long as they call me!

'Grandma' or Gran is by tradition used for the maternal side- the baby's mum's own mother.The term 'Nanna' ,or nan,nanny,is traditionally given to the paternal side- the baby's Dads own mother.Maybe that's why your daughter said she won't call you that? But then that wouldn't explain why she's using 'grandma' for her boyfriends mum?- Has the boyfriends parents been asked what they prefer? (Grandad/grandpa is same whichever side) Or were the names used by chance first by the boyfriend? Next time they come round, stand next to them and wave a hand between you &other 'gran' and say "well what name AM i having then?just so we can differentiate between us both??" Explain about the traditional 'Nanna/Grandma' labels, and let her decide then, you might be surprised to find the boyfriends mum prefers the traditional 'nanna/nan/nanny' and is happy to swap. Or if not ask your daughter outright what the little one IS going to call YOU then? Has your DD always called you 'mum/mother' or does she refer to you by your first name at all? That could be the crux of it.As others have said, the child, once speaking may well have its own 'special' name for you- as kids we used the traditional names, but my sister couldn't say it so called our mums mum 'gran' & our dads mum "grammy"- i myself have sons kids who call me Nanna and 2 Daughters kids call me Grandma.Try not to let it spoil this time for you, but you DO need to know how to refer to yourself, or for others to refer to you, regarding your GC, as years down the line it will be too much of a mouthful (if youve to ring school for example?) "Oh, im 'so&so's (childs name)mums mum!"

Well I was always hoping to be Grandma but for some reason my now 8 year grandson called me mop as a baby but heh ho I'm happy to be called anything

I think it's fairly obvious to people -- with half a brain-- that nanny isn't referring to a goat.

Yes. Homonym of the English language.

It was DH being difficult it this household, he thought I should be grandma and took a while to adjust to me insisting on Nana.
Nana didn't happen! It evolved to Nanny, Nan and Nanny Wishes which is fine by me.

Someone up thread said what's in a name and implied it didn't matter. I agree with the OP a name is personal and it does matter.

sarahellenwhitney

As long as you have a healthy grand child be thankful for that.Does it matter what the child calls you ???????

The baby can’t call me anything because she’s too young, when she can talk I’ll be happy to be called whatever calls me, my issue is until she can speak I would like to be known as her Nanny but my Daughter won’t let me but she has given no alternative. I’ve heard her say to her other Grandmother and Grandfathers ‘do you want a cuddle from your Grandma/Grandad’ but I just had ‘do you want a cuddle’.
I’ve been so excited that I’m going to be a Grandparent I just want to shout it from the rooftops ‘I’m this baby’s Nanny’

I think you are a bit previous on this one !
I can see your point in one way, that your DD refers to everyone else with a title and then nothing for you, which must be hurtful.
Why not ask your DH to have a quiet word with her?
However you want to be referred to, later on, the little one will give you a name, that will be special between the two of you as well as probably unique!
One of my aunts was always called "Cuckoo " by her eldest grandson - that was what she used to call out to him whenever she saw him when he was little. Another friend's grandmother was Blessim - one of her most common sayings!
Whenever you talk to your GD, you can always refer to yourself as Nanny " Nanny loves giving you cuddles", " Let Nanny read you a story" "Can Nanny help you?" and so on.
Your DD has enough to deal with, becoming a mother to be worried about who is called what at the moment or maybe she'd just like you to be called by something else!

I don't think anyone meant to be rude. A Nanny is a children's nurse, usually very well paid and well liked by the children she looks after.

Nanny is some parts of Britian means a grandmother, either because soldiers in India had heard children addressing their maternal grandmothers as Nani or because small children who hadn't matter the letters g and r said Nanny instead of Granny.

OP congratulations on your grandchild, in a while, ask your daughter what she wants the little one to know you as, as she doesn't like Nanny - perhaps because she didn't have a relationship to her own Nanna.

As long as you have a healthy grand child be thankful for that.Does it matter what the child calls you ???????

I didn't want a "title" when my grandchildren were born. Our six grandchildren know us by our actual names and love us just the same. I feel we have exactly the same loving relationship with our family as others who call themselves Nanny or Grandma or whatever.

I call my husband by his name, I don't call him "husband", I call my children by their names - not "daughter" or "son". My grandchildren know I am the mother of their mother (or father).

I know this first name thing isn't for everyone, but what I'm trying to say, Crochetjo, if your sweet new grandchild were to call you Nanny, Granny, Grandma or even Jo, nothing will take away from your special bond that comes from love.

BlueBelle

jannea how do we know you’re not an old goat you might be an old grandma goat judging by that comment ???
Use what ever title you want and stop stressing over it

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