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Should I reward GD for exam results?

(86 Posts)
writergrandma Thu 13-Aug-20 11:56:48

My gd texted to say she is coming round with good news. This relates to her A level results. I am wondering whether or not I should give her some money. I have already said in the past I will contribute to her uni fees but feel like something for herself seems appropriate. What do other grans do? And I also want to give her a hug! I haven't given any hugs since March. I will be grateful for any comments.

JTelles7 Fri 14-Aug-20 11:16:51

Be generous to your granddaughter. Too many grandparents are neglected and your granddaughter wanting to see you and tell you her good news is wonderful.
Make a big fuss over her when she arrives.

MellowYellow Fri 14-Aug-20 11:14:42

I love your idea Lucca of looking online with her. My grandchildren would really enjoy doing that.

MarieEliza Fri 14-Aug-20 11:11:32

My husband was given a bike for passing the 11+ but again what would he have felt like had he failed? He has a tremendous sense of disappointment even now in his sixties if he fails at something And needs lots of reassurance afterwards.

nipsmum Fri 14-Aug-20 11:05:55

It was never a tradition in our family. We got a well done or, as long as you did your best that's good for me. My grand children get a well done card when exams are finished regardless of how they have performed. I know that they did their best.

Applegran Fri 14-Aug-20 10:59:57

I agree with Lemongrove - give huge congratulations and say how happy and proud you are and all your wishes for the next steps in their lives. Write a card saying all this. But I wouldn't give money - the important thing is that they are rewarded for their work by the outcome. They worked hard and they achieved a good result! Its also important, I think, to know that you are not valued because of your exam results, but just for who you are. Even those who pass exams with flying colours will one day fail at something, so it matters that they know they are OK quite apart from exams and the other things our society regards as marks of success.

Goodbyetoallthat Fri 14-Aug-20 10:45:58

My granddaughter is only 4 so early days for us (though her "report" did say that her teacher enjoyed her singing!!). I would certainly give warm praise & a gift of some sort.
My mother was of the mindset that if you hadn't "come top" there was nothing to celebrate. What a depressing outlook to have!
Wave upthread to CrazyH I work at Swansea University & we are a friendly bunch. I am sure your grandson will enjoy his time here (especially if the sun continues to shine).

HannahLoisLuke Fri 14-Aug-20 10:37:27

If you'd like to give her a reward for doing well then do, but keep it small. It's my understanding that there have been no A level exams this year due to Covid so no results really, just teachers assessments which can be wide of the mark. If you know that she's been working hard with schoolwork during lockdown then she deserves to be rewarded.
Sadly a lot of teenagers where I live have treated it as one long holiday, strolling around past my house in groups, sitting by the lake for hours just having fun. No doubt they'll be shouting "unfair" when they're downgraded.
Sorry to sound harsh but my eyes don't deceive me.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 14-Aug-20 10:37:11

Their worth is not measured by exam grades, I’ve seen it time and time again students getting so down over results when they have tried their hardest,

jaylucy Fri 14-Aug-20 10:34:01

If you feel uncomfortable giving her money, what about a gift card for her to treat herself with?
Or even a pamper session at a salon (now they can all open fully) just as a "well done I'm proud of you" I'm sure that most can be purchased online.
I was one of those that didn't get the promised reward for below standard exam results.
I desperately wanted an item that was on display in one of the local shops and was told that if I did well in my O Levels.
I didn't , so didn't get that item. I can't say that I was that affected by it then (beyond the initial disappointment) or now. Life isn't all highs , there are a fair few lows.

Hawera1 Fri 14-Aug-20 10:27:03

I would do the same. Grandparents arent here forever. Reward hard effort.

scrapgran Fri 14-Aug-20 10:25:43

With this current shambles I shall be treating my granddaughter whatever her results next week

Molli Fri 14-Aug-20 10:23:59

The fact that she has asked to come and see you with some good news speaks volumes about your relationship with her. She wants to share her news with YOU ?. If you want to give her some money then do so or if she’s off to university you could say ‘ would you like me to buy you something special for when you go’. It could be a physical shopping trip or virtual but done together. Our neighbours saw their GD go off to university a couple of years ago and they took her shopping and bought a duvet set and some nice towels. And as for the hug....,. Ask her and if she says yes .... go for it?

dogsmother Fri 14-Aug-20 10:19:45

Oh yes of course....it’s a passing of a milestone gift ?

GoldenAge Fri 14-Aug-20 10:14:26

Writer grandma - It’s lovely that your gd wants to share her success with you - the fact that you showed you would be proud of her let’s her know you’re interested in her development - of course you can give her something of your choosing - you will get pleasure out of that she so will she - well done to her.

henetha Fri 14-Aug-20 10:12:54

Yes, I think it would be nice to give your grand-daughter some money, or voucher, whatever, as a reward. It's what most grandparents do.
I was given a shiny red bicycle as a reward for passing my 11+

LIZZIEMIK Fri 14-Aug-20 10:11:04

I have twin grandson. One always does much better than the other Imagine giving gifts for getting good results.

Razzy Fri 14-Aug-20 10:10:04

I give my daughter a present when her report comes out, but I give it based on effort, not results. She isn't materialistic, so it is usually something small, but it marks her achievement of following through with study.

Venus Fri 14-Aug-20 10:06:52

It's different if your a grandparent from being a parent. Grandparents are the ones who spoil their grandchildren. I never say no to my grandchildren and hard work deserves reward.

Give the girl £50 and congratulate her. It's been a difficult year for these kids and if they've done well, they deserve to be made a fuss of.

orly Fri 14-Aug-20 10:03:38

Touchy subject!

Rachand Fri 14-Aug-20 10:00:31

I sent my DGD a card and £30 - just a token to say, yes you worked hard through your school life and did your best. Everyone to their own way, if you have loads of grandchildren it might prove expensive and you need to keep track and what’s been given and when/why - no favourites!

Worthingpatchworker Fri 14-Aug-20 09:56:23

In truth...you know what you want to do.
If it doesn’t ruin her and you can spare the money.....she has worked hard and, whilst university and a better choice of profession are what she has worked for, show her you are proud of her in whatever way you believe to be appropriate.
I don’t have children, so no chance of grandchildren but I have nieces and nephews and a goddaughter.....I make sure they know I am proud of their efforts and achievements.
I grew up with no such encouragement......
Be proud and show it.

Lucca Thu 13-Aug-20 18:37:00

quizqueen

She didn't pass any exams as she didn't take any, so why would there be a reward!

What ??? She will have received results.

grannysyb Thu 13-Aug-20 17:58:47

Just written a card for my DGS and put money in it, he got A,B,C and I think he has worked hard for this. I didn't offer it before hand.

suziewoozie Thu 13-Aug-20 17:49:45

Doodlebug it was suggested that warm affectionate words were better than ‘throwing money’ ( whatever that might mean - I’ve never thrown money at my dd or dgs but I’ve given the plenty of both in various appropriate situations). As a PP said, it depends what you can afford but a card is surely always possible.

annep1 Thu 13-Aug-20 17:23:31

I give a small amount of money and a card, praising them for their hard work. If I knew they weren't trying they wouldn't get anything.

I also give some money when starting university. Of course it's totally based on what you can afford.