Long-distance grandparenting

RENA you could speak to them evey day, see them on Zoom, and send them little things through the post, as I do with my darling GC. They are only 50 miles away but even so with their hobbies, clubs and school and my fairly busy life (I am speaking about pre Covid) we don't see them as often as I would like, but we keep up constant thread of contact with WhatsApp photos. Good luck with your wonderful opportunity !

I see my 3-year-old GD almost every day. Sometimes twice in one day. She lives on the other side of the world, but I join her at breakfast and bedtime, catch up with what she is doing, and read her stories. Once she is settled in bed I catch up with her mum and dad.
I also see my new baby GS at least twice a week. He also lives in Australia, but his parents are making sure that he gets to know me. I’ve had a few smiles recently.
You will all adapt to a new way of communicating, in a while. Things in life change, and we just have to adjust to them.

Pippa22 that’s an unpleasant insinuation you’re making that distant GP’s can’t have good relationships with their GC.

It will be hard. There is no denying it.

I must be honest and say that I could never choose to move away from my grandchildren. However, my eldest daughter went to the US because her husband got an extremely good job offer. Parting from them and their 4 kids was incredibly hard. We keep in touch through technology, of course. However, to be truthful, it is not the same and I never stop missing them. If I didn't have my other grandchildren living nearby, I don't think I could bear it.

On the other hand, my grandkids are 4,000 miles away and across an ocean whereas you will be 500 miles away and, presumably, in the same country. You can visit, they can visit, and you have the excitement of the new place and new job to occupy you. It is harder, I think, for the ones left behind than for the ones who are off on a new adventure.

Sorry if this is a bit negative. I don't mean it to be, but there's no point in pretending it is easy. It will take time for you and them to adjust.

It warms my heart to read that GPS are still on the receiving and recognising end of wonderful job opportunities. We're so brainwashed into the over-the-hill element in this country. Congratulations to you on that score. Well done. The downside (isn't there always one?!) is huge. You recognise it and you will undoubtedly all deal with it in your own ways. I assume you will have had many in depth conversations with 9 year old GD and worked out all the schemes the pair of you will have for future meet-ups. Wonderful and a new exciting element to your relationship to boot. I wish you (all) well and think this is a brave and exciting opportunity for all concerned. Hiccups at first, perhaps but....hey!........

My children grew up 5000 miles away from my parents. Every year we would spend at least 4 weeks living with them and they would spend at least 3 weeks living with us.
They were very close, and that was before the days of video calls.
Now I’m a grandmother and my grandchildren are 5,000 miles away from me. It could be next door thanks to technology. Today is the elder one’s birthday. She was so excited I was in tears. I get to share wobbly teeth, tooth fairy letters, new clothes. I get introduced to their friends, watch the horse riding lessons and dance classes, help with homework, supervise crafts.
If you work at building up a routine then you will continue to be a very important part of their lives.
Be strong.

SueDonim, it wasn’t an insinuation just stating that seeing people on a screen is not the same in any way to actually smelling that new baby not feeling the soft skin of the child’s hand when he slips it into yours. Yes online relationships are wonderful but no replacement with actual contact. I am sure it is possible to have a distant relationship, if that is the only option but being close and actually meeting up is best and I appreciate that I am very lucky not to need Zoom.

My kids grew up with their grandparents living in Ireland . Before face book/f time etc. Lots of quality time in visits in both directions. Letters / pics etc. When the got a bit older they stayed without us parents too. They could not have been closer. It’s the simple things like picnics, walks, cooking together etc that u will get the chance to do as u will clear time for them when they visit . Don’t worry. It looks like it’s going to be the same for me one day too as my son will probably always work abroad .

My grandchildren live 250 miles away, anything between a 4hr or a 6hr drive depending on weather conditions/traffic/comfort stops.
I don't like them being so far away but the comfort is they are not overseas. Just need to plan our visits rather than spontaneous arrival.

You’re not saying goodbye forever, just moving away with the potential to keep up on social media. I know it’s not the same as face to face, skin to skin etc, but in my opinion, we all had that blessing with our children. Anything we get from grandchildren is a bonus, and we shouldn’t expect anything else. It sounds like a great opportunity for you both, and won’t devastate your grandchildren to the degree it would if their parents split up for example. We have that in our family at the moment, and our DIL could potentially move hundreds of miles away with our grandchildren. I would be sad, but we would still see them. I had my children. Anyway, you could turn this down, and then they could move. You only regret what you don’t do. Go for it and the best of luck?

Thanks for making me feel like a second-class grandparent, Pippa.

Hawera children (like ours) can move to the other side of the world without worrying about it. They've asked us to move over there but what if they are off again somewhere else? Do we keep following them? Do we come back to the UK? Better stay put.

Aww, you’re definitely not that Sue. As grandparents we don’t get to choose where our grown up children live. We can only work with what we’ve got, and while getting older too.?

Exactly Disco!

Thank you, Disco & Bluesky. I grew up with just one grandparent & no aunts or uncles, and to me, it seems that having GPs, be they near or far away, is a bonus. Only one of my five GC has any GP living near them and none of them has their cousins nearby either, yet they all know and have lovely relationships with their aunts, uncles and cousins.

It is so much easier now with WhatsApp, Skype and text. With the 9 year you can keep up with silly and chatty texts on their parent’s phone until they get one.
Something I did latterly with my elderly mum, was send her postcards. I know you are not going somewhere exotic, but children LOVE to get post, and postcards are brief and fun.

When you do visit each other, it will be very special. My DD1 only saw my mum a very few times a year until she was nearly six, but it didn’t stop her being her favourite person in the world, including us we strongly suspected!

There is a possibility that my S & DIL will move away with my GS as my DIL is not from the here and misses her family. If this happens I have decided we will buy a static caravan near them and spend as much time there as we can. Would this be an option for you if there is somewhere nice, halfway between you. You could all meet up there at weekends, it would be a break away for all the family and the GC would probably love it.