Would you sell your house & downsize to help your sibling?

No I wouldn't I would offer them to live at mine until they got on their feet but no it could build a lot of resentment between the two of you

The most I would consider is a) giving them a bit of money to help while they get housing and benefits b) having them to stay c) IF I felt like downsizing , and could sell and buy two flats in my name, letting them stay rent free for a fixed period.
I would never want to create a situation where we would end up fighting , or me resenting them , or suffering because of them. At least now they could come and stay with you because you’re stable - what if neither of you had that ?

I wouldn't. I understand your desire to help but you need to consider the long term consequences of what you are thinking. Let them come and stay with you. As others have said it will take time to sell your property and then buy two. Have you enough equity to do that, and in what area are you thinking of purchasing? A discussion with the Council and Housing charities would be my first port of call.

Straight answer, no I wouldn’t. She’s caused more than enough trouble for the family over many years, so definitely no!

If you want to help can you buy two properties and ‘rent’ one to them for a nominal charge until they get back on their feet then you still have your pension asset

If you house is that big that it could finance two homes I suggest they live with you on a temporary bases.

Two things bother me here: firstly, how will your sibling pay the bills and running costs of a house without a job even assuming you do buy him one? Secondly, your sibling looked after this relative for 9 years, I really don't see how they were not aware of whatever crime your relative committed that was serious enough for him/her to be imprisoned. Hmm

I would invite them to live with me for say six months, or to apply for council help with their housing where they live, whilst they have the very necessary local connection.

If they don’t want to do either, they may not be desperate. If they are working, what about asking for a loan for a rental deposit?

Good luck to all of you Mary.

As much as you surely love her, I’m afraid my answer would be No! There is so much help one can get nowadays, so I’d suggest she looks down every avenue.

Get some professional advice before you do anything. Both of you should first of all make an appointment at nearest local authority housing advice centre to talk through the options available to her. Citizens Advice Bureau next for money advice and benefits available - or the local authority's welfare benefits advice service. Or SHELTER.

If she is an older person with any health issues she may well come under the heading of priority need which will help her access housing and the support she needs . You do NOT have to put your own financial security at risk. Nor do you have to have them stay with you, which might put you under a lot of stress if they overstay their welcome/become a financial burden to you.They may well be able to get temporary accommodation via the local authority's help until a permanent solution is found. If they do come to stay, make it clear that this is for a limited time ONLY and stick to the date agreed for them leaving. This helps the authorities to help them.

I wouldn't. They are adults, presumably in good health, and should look after themselves. Perhaps you could let them have a loan?

Think, would they do it for you....I know my sister wouldn't at all, so I wouldn't either. My sis takes the money off me if I ask her to get me a loaf!! Look after number 1, as you say it is your pension which you worked hard for. The social services will get them somewhere to get them sorted until better times come back for them or let them stay with you until this happens. Do not sell your home.

Also, why was this poorly relative not getting benefits or whatever, why was your sibling spending their life savings to keep them?

I get a huge white knight saviour complex from OP

She wants to save the adult sibling from what is going on now AND for the rest of the sibling's life.

My sibling gave up their career for the last 9yrs to act as a fulltime carer whilst our relative in poor health had many operations. A will was made that they would inherit the bungalow to continue living in -in return for my sibling using their life savings to support the person they were caring for. Unfortunately, said relative was carted off to prison a few months ago & will likely die there before too long due to ill health.

I am left wondering exactly how a very sick person who needed so much care was capable of carrying out (a) criminal offence(s) so serious that they got carted off to prison where this now convicted criminal will die shortly.

Presumably there was a trial which would have taken some time? How did this person have the strength and energy for such criminal activities or even find time between many operations?

I'm intrigued.

The more information is given, the more I doubt the sibling is 100% a victim on this.

Very questionable decisions were taken from the very beginning and I guess he many red flags were missed

I'm intrigued too, Callistemon, and would still be interested to hear how the situation is going to right itself at some point in the future.

If a relative asks me to quit my job to take care of him/her with my savings and I would eventually have the bungalow, it would be a super hard no.
It reeks of moocher and indebted servitude

Was there ever legal paperwork drawn to make this official and legally binding?

If your sibling had taken advice before looking after this person, he may well have been warned against following the course which has led to his own financial ruin. The number of unforeseeable twists and turns that could happen are so many, I wouldn't do it.

elegran and others my thoughts entirely as with other posts by this author

You do pose some interesting questions Mary the book keeper
How unlike my own humdrum life

I think this is a potential storyline for a novel. Too many holes in it for real life.

I loved my late sister dearly. She was a lovely person but, how shall I put it? Fiscally unreliable sums up her approach to life, I guess.
Had her heedless, someone-else-will-pay attitude ever presented me with the sort of problem the OP faces, my answer would have been no, no, and a thousand times no.

I would not rely too much on the council. They don't have a duty to rehouse people unless they qualify as priority need, eg under 18, pregnant, vulnerable, etc. It can even be difficult to get rehoused if you do qualify.

If your sibling does think of turning to the council, they need to stay in the area where they have a local connection. They should also stay in their current property until legally forced to leave, or they will be classified as intentionally homeless.

It might be worth suggesting that they approach Shelter or local homeless charities, if there are any. They will get good advice, at the very least.

This situation sounds quite complicated. I also say a loud NO to selling your own house and dividing the money. If they come to live with you they might not be able to claim benefits, as you are family. Try to find out if there are alms houses or similar social housing they could qualify for. If they are truly homeless the local council will provide accommodation, but they will need to store their belongings in the meantime.