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son and family moving away

(21 Posts)
whogoesthere Thu 17-Sep-20 19:36:05

My son and his family live very close to us at the moment, and we see the grandchildren at least once a week, now ho wants to move further away which will involve up to 2 hours drive, afraid we will lose contact with the children.

phoenix Thu 17-Sep-20 19:43:45

whogoesthere 2 hours isn't so bad, many grand have family who live at the other end of the UK, or on another continent!

Unfortunately, you can't change this, so you will all have to adapt and find ways to keep in touch, Zoom, video calls etc.

phoenix Thu 17-Sep-20 19:44:32

GRANS, not grand! Damn auto correct!

Grammaretto Thu 17-Sep-20 19:44:56

I am sure you need not lose contact. It will be a time of adjustment for all of you. A change of routine but it's still a journey you can make in a day or calls for overnight stays sometimes.
You will make it work if you want to.
One of our DC and DGC is 12 thousand miles away but we speak often on whatsapp and we feel really very close.

lemongrove Thu 17-Sep-20 19:45:26

Two hours? Why on earth would you lose contact? You can phone, facetime/zoom and they can come and visit you.We regularly see family who live two hours drive away.
True, you can’t just pop in, but it’s not as if they have emigrated to Australia.

biba70 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:54:34

2 hours ??? Really- this is just a short drive and simple to drive there and back in one day. How can this amount to losing contact?

M0nica Thu 17-Sep-20 21:15:35

Two hours, a piffling journey. Half the distance we drive, and we are in constant contact - and the excitement when we see each other, absolutely no question of losing contaact.

BlueSky Thu 17-Sep-20 21:26:04

Two hours? A lot of grans on here including me, wish our DGC were only two hours away! sad

NannyDee Thu 17-Sep-20 21:29:32

Two hours! Our son and his family moved to Australia...we’ve seen them 3 times in 8 years. I wish they were even in the same country as us.

Dinahmo Thu 17-Sep-20 21:45:04

Don't move closer whatever you do. Younger people often move because of job changes. I remember when we lived in Suffolk an elderly moved from Kent because her daughter had moved. A few years later, daughter moved back to Kent and mum followed soon after.

I have a friend in Suffolk (now 80+) who when she sold her house in our village considered moving to the town where her son lived on a new housing estate. She eventually realised that he wouldn't be there to help her in an emergency because he worked in London so she bought a house in a nearby village with more facilities. She new people there and also still had her friends in the original village. When she was suddenly taken ill it was a friend who drove her to hospital because her children were at work and not immediately available.

She had forgotten how important friends are.

Juliet27 Thu 17-Sep-20 21:48:26

NannyDee

Two hours! Our son and his family moved to Australia...we’ve seen them 3 times in 8 years. I wish they were even in the same country as us.

Ditto!

Lucca Thu 17-Sep-20 21:59:21

Two hours? One son just under two hours.....the other in Sydney.

Oopsadaisy4 Thu 17-Sep-20 22:02:22

We moved 2 hours away from my parents, before emails and FaceTime and the Internet, the children stayed each holiday, I collected my parents ( they didn’t drive) and brought them up to stay with us.

The children were taken to see them several weekends a year.

Our children and my parents were so very close and remained so until my parents died.

SueDonim Thu 17-Sep-20 22:12:52

Two hours sounds like heaven to me! I have one GC about two hours away from us and compared to my other GC it feels as though she lives almost next door.

Hithere Fri 18-Sep-20 00:10:50

I think you need time to process the news.

Thinking 2 hours of car trip will make you lose contact with the kids very black and white and extreme.

2 hours is nothing!

Hetty58 Fri 18-Sep-20 01:22:01

I don't drive but I regularly make the three hour train journey to see one daughter. It's quicker (and nicer) than driving anyway. Another child lives in NZ and I'm lucky to see him once a year. We all Zoom every week though.

Madgran77 Fri 18-Sep-20 07:09:14

It's a change for you and the uncomfortableness of that is understandable. It's just going to be different so process the reality and then start planning the "new reality" in terms of face time, visits, fun ways to connect etc. flowers

Furret Fri 18-Sep-20 07:35:49

whogoesthere I’m so sorry to read this. You must be very upset. I would have expected a bit more sympathy from others .
Perhaps instead of the weekly contact you are used to you can visit for a few days at a time. Or go on holiday together? I know it will be hard adjusting though xx

OceanMama Sat 19-Sep-20 07:09:52

I think perspectives change depending on what you are used to, as far as distance. Once I would have seen two hours as a long way. My own mother was devastated when we moved an hour and a half away. Now that we are on different continents, we both wish we were just two hours apart. For me, two hours is now just a day trip I don't think twice about.

whogoesthere, I understand that when you're used to have family very close it is upsetting to know they won't be the same easy distance away and that getting together will take more planning. If you are used to seeing them once a week, it might become once a month. For some that would be too often, for others, not enough. You can still have a meaningful relationship with your children and grandchildren at that distance. Hopefully you might even come to enjoy the trip to visit. You might discover nice places to stop for a meal when traveling to or from a visit that adds to the experience. Sometimes you might be able to meet at a midway point. What does your family picture as how often you will see each other when they have moved? Maybe discussing this with them will help? It might allay your fears when you know what to expect.

TheReadingRoom Sat 19-Sep-20 09:25:46

NannyDee

Two hours! Our son and his family moved to Australia...we’ve seen them 3 times in 8 years. I wish they were even in the same country as us.

We have one son and family in Vancouver; the other and his family are in perth, WA! Last saw them 3 years ago sad

Toadinthehole Sat 19-Sep-20 10:15:50

It might make it better, in that the quality of your time together will change. My son and DIL are local. To be honest, apart from the times I looked after the children, we’ve never seen them that much. An hour or two here and there. My DIL’s family live three hours away, and every holiday my son has, and has had over the last twelve years or so, is spent visiting them. One year, I roughly counted up the hours we’d seen them, against the other grandparents, and theirs was more. We honestly don’t begrudge it, they’re making the best of everything, but I feel they’ve spent weekends and evenings with my son since he’s been married. We haven’t had this. Don’t make a thing of it, and you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.