Am I being overdramatic

Thanks for your replies, I have a kennel out the back but they said they don't want me to put the dog out the house so they can visit, it's a big proper kennel with heating and two separate areas for sleeping and play.
I have offered to make another separate sitting room upstairs with locks on the door so no one could get in.

I take on board all you have said and I do feel the same way as most of you, but thought as dog was no where near child area and her issues are worked on, they are going on her previous behaviour and lockdown isn't helping

I can't go to their home due to lockdown as some suggested.

I suppose I will just have to suck it up at the minute, and with winter coming they won't let him out much. I say that because on a cold day he's not allowed out.

Thanks again ladies your comments are appreciated

My DM's Staffie was afraid of children and very 'responsible' for DM so she was very confused, nervous - and dangerous - around the GC. But she had a cage beside my DM's chair and felt safe, relaxed and secure in there. And the GC were safe on the outside. When they got bigger they would feed her biscuits through the cage bars - but she was still obviously too nervous to risk being out of the cage with them. A cage may look like a cage to us but in a dog's eyes it can be a secure, safe den.

Sounds like you are doing all you can Tooyoung I don't understand why your family are not happy with the dog being in her kennel, sounds like it is an ideal place for her.
Once things are back on an even keel perhaps you could have an honest talk with your family and see if there is some compromise to be reached.

TooYoung, I agree that keep the dog securely contained should be acceptable. I wouldn't have accepted my own MIL saying she would crate her dog because, in my experience, it would probably be in there for a short while before being very loosely 'held' in the living area. It was not a friendly dog. It doesn't sound like this is an issue with you though. All you can do is make clear that the dog will be contained and remain contained during any visits. Are they maybe concerned that the dog makes the floors unhygienic for a baby? I'm sure your home is fine but I know that was a concern for me when my children were crawling. I'm more relaxed about that now.

how is he supposed to get to know me - he doesn't have to. We grandparents are an add-on, not a necessity.

It is you who has the need to get to know him; not the baby, nor the parents.

Clearly the dog to which you are devoted should not be anywhere near your GS, so he cannot come to your house.

Maybe you should look at their needs - at what would help the parents, not at what you desire. At the moment, rather than helping them and being an asset, you are focusing on your needs and being a pain!

Most dogs enjoy going for a walk more than anything else. Could you pay a local student an affordable amount to walk your dog (on a lead) for the whole duration of your family's visit? If they bond, they may even be able to look after the dog at their home for short periods. My dog has separation anxiety because of past trauma - doesn't like being alone but trusts others and likes their company so happy to stay with them if needs be.

I'm a bit confused. You said you can't go to their house because of lock down. Surely that also means they can't come to you for the same reason? Maybe that's why they are reluctant to visit and the dog issue is secondary.

Sorry but I am with the Parents on this. I would not trust any dog around a baby or child. A dog can turn at any time and your dog has issues...even though you have been working on him. If you want to see the baby you have to go by their rules...it is there child. If you fall out with the Parents over their rules then it will be your loss.

Guessing you haven’t received the responses you wanted ? hence your silence.

What an absolute load of twaddle. The dog will never get used to children if it's never allowed near them.

Can't you get someone to take the dog for a few hours so you can have your grandbaby at home??

Having had dogs and none having apparent behaviour issues I would I absolutely respect what is happening re your GS. You cannot guarantee absolute safety with the dog in the house anywhere. Is there anyway you could house the dog outside when family visit? So sorry as I appreciate you will want to have warm,loving contact with GS. Keep on with the training and look to having a secure place for your dog. We all live our pets but you get no second chance if it goes out of control.

Or there's always a dog crate.. If need be shut in another room with the door locked?

Sorry. GC 3 months old and you are worrying that they can't get to know you ? At this age they are really not bothered who you are, just want to be fed, clean and sleep !
I agree with the others - a clingy dog is not going to welcome an interloper like a young baby or child into their territory, especially if it already has anxiety problems and you will no doubt be paying more attention to the baby than them.
You are lucky that to see the bub, you don't have to get in your car and drive for several hours !
Sorry, but the GC and dog doesn't sound as if it is ever going to be a good mix .

Mooney59

Guessing you haven’t received the responses you wanted ? hence your silence.

Too young replied at 8.19 this morning thanking everyone for replying.

I feel Tooyoung that there are other issues other than just your dog. Your user name for starters? Is your GC your son's or daughter's?

It’s a bit irrelevant due to lockdown, but it sounds as though you are saying,reluctantly, that you will put the dog in its kennel.

Try saying ‘the dog is in its kennel, so don’t worry about it’ And leave it at that, with the dog in there, giving yo time to have a

Instead of just offering to do it if they want you to.

My cousins dog used to hurl itself at the doors if we visited, barking it’s head off and it scared us all to death, so I can see why they won’t visit.

Just wondering why Tooyoungtobe is able to have family in her home and the parents can't have Tooyoung in theirs?
I know you responded at 8.19 today so may not be here now, but if you are here, some of us may have ideas if there was a bit more background.

I think your user name shows a tendency to a short fuse anyway OP.
?

Too young to be a damnedgran, you fully intend to make friends with this baby new relation , so you will be okay.

Keep dog and child well separated and allay parents' fears.

I don’t think they are being nervous new parents at all but really practical and sensible. You have a dog with problems but are prepared to have your new, precious little grandchild to your house and take the risk of what a jealous dog might do. This situation is really not on. I think that dog owners for some reason are blinkered as to how their dog might behave. Many times in parks unwelcome, unruly dogs have rushed up to be told “ He’s really friendly, he likes you”. Just accept that the baby will not be visiting you whilst you have the dog and good on the parents for sticking with it.

I don't understand why such an issue is being made about your dog especially as you're going to great lengths to ensure that the dog and baby won't be in the same room.

No GP's I'm sure want to be strangers to their GC Luckygirl, and if the OP is going to be spending time with her GS of course she wants him to know her.

GP's aren't just 'add on's'; in many families they are an important part of the GC's lives.

Have to take side of parents here. You have a problem dog that could get jealous and attack baby. Dont push any issues about seeing baby. Wait and let them decide when you are to see the baby and where. The 49 minute walk is excellent exercise as well by the way.

Caragran

What an absolute load of twaddle. The dog will never get used to children if it's never allowed near them.

Would you be happy to offer up your child as a guinea pig to see what happens with the dog, or to be used to train the dog to behave around them? Possibly traumatising the child?

I have dogs and if I had grandchildren around, I'd keep them crated far away during the visit. When they are old enough to enjoy the dog, if the parents are happy with it, then maybe we can slowly introduce them. My dogs don't even have behaviour problems but even normal, excited dog behaviour can be a problem around babies.

I know your dog is very important and your companion, but the reality is your granddaughter is very important too. You just have to accept the situation. Visit her in her own home. Not worth the hassle and tensions. When she's older maybe she and the dog will become friends. Good luck.

There’s also hygiene considerations. Once baby is toddling and putting everything in their mouth the parents probably will not want the child out of their sight in a house where a dog plonks itself on surfaces.