Is it really that bad to say I don't like prospective baby names?

I’ve just come back from a walk round the village, including the churchyard. Odd names are not a new phenomenon!

I do like my GS’s name, thank goodness. I certainly wasn’t consulted. It is the diminutive of a longer one. He’ll have to lengthen it for greater gravitas when he’s a CEO?. The opposite of today’s executives.

I did not think Bluebelle was being nasty. She was maybe a bit sharp but, that is all.

Bear in mind that, without body language and voice inflexions, what comes across in writing might have a completely different timbre if the person could be seen and heard.

I read your post twice because the first time it felt that you were being critical of your DiL and wanted to make her change her mind. When I reread it, I realised that all you were asking was whether anyone else found the choice of GC’s names stressful.

All I would say is, as I have already said, that children grow into their names or we get used to them. No need to feel stressed. Enjoy your new family member when he/she comes.

It's interesting as it seems that those with unusual names give their children straightforward names as they are fed up with the mispronunciation and misspelling of their own name - that includes me!
Those with fairly common names seem to be the ones that give their children unusual names, or at least unusual spelling or pronunciation of a standard name.

Don’t say anything,I have two granddaughters who will have to go through life having to tell people how to spell their name,as have I——- the up side is when you phone anyone they know who you are instantly!!

As everyone is saying - do not risk creating an argument with your dil - it is their child. I do wonder what I'd have said if a GC had been named something really awful Imagine saying: "Here is my grandson - Saucepan!" At least he would have had a handle to his name, but would run the risk of getting into hot water. Am getting carried away here. A child I know changed his own name when he was about 5 - just asked to be called something else and we've forgotten the original name, though it is still on his birth certificate.

'A still tongue in a wise head'. Your dislike of the name, if you talk about it, will only cause problems, that much is obvious. Often parents change their ideas when the baby is born. My cousin said that her baby just didn't look like a Francaesca, so she called her Lily. I had two names for my own son - when he was born, the obvious one came to me at once, and the other choice became his second name. Wait and see - and certainly don't get stressed at this happy time!

I've not read the entire thread - so please accept my apology, if anybody has already posted along the same lines that I'm about to mention.

Remember that 'prospective names' are just THAT - and things could change. My eldest was going to be 'Stuart' right up until he arrived - I took one look at him and decided immediately that he was 'a Stephen'. Thanks to be so-called determination over his name, we still got a congratulations card that had 'Stuart' on it .

PLEASE do not mention anything at all to your dil - fashions come and go with names for babies, but the babies are STILL our grandchildren no matter what their parents decided to name them.

You can always have your own 'pet nickname' for the child. Despite absolutely loving the names that I gave her, my daughter has always been 'my Tinkerbelle' - and her older brother's 'Tabby Kitten' - even at the age of 40 .

It may grow on you. I really did not like one of my grandchildren's names but now I cannot imagine her called anything else.

I have the same issue and have never gotten used to the GC's name. But I've never said a word.

Please don't be like my mother-law. On hearing the chosen name for her first grandson, (two traditional names, one the christian name of both granddads) she said to me, 'what kind of a name is that?'.
Forty years later it still upsets me!

Nannan2 I don’t see how me pointing out her sharp tongue and sarcastic commentary makes me a nasty person too? It is purely observational. I have no problem with people telling me I’m in the wrong and speaking plainly but there are limits to the extent of offence caused. I didn’t come here for an argument but it seems some people do. I won’t be coming back.

Thank you for all the positive comments and the constructive criticism from everybody, as I’ve already said. Life is a big learning curve and it never gets any easier when faced with new situations and how to deal with them. I will take a little bit of what most of you saiid with me..

Thanks for listening!

NanAng-Its not nice though to say Bluebelle is 'a very nasty person' for her telling you her opinion is it? She is very outspoken i agree and she & i dont always see eye to eye- but i dont think she was being 'very nasty' or at least not deliberately. I think what you replied to her was also 'very nasty' thf.So lets just keep our tempers shall we ladies?

When our SIL 'phoned to say baby had arrived and the name I didn't answer straight away and then said pardon. Such a weird name but nothing to do with us and you know we have got used to it now.

Think what you like but not your choice so keep any opinions to your self. I doubt there are many new parents if any who would ask for comments or approval when choosing names.

Yes ive been in this position as i have 9 grandchildren now.Some ive not been keen on the names (but not said so) but you get used to them if you say them enough? or the parents start out with 'different' names and end up shortening them anyway as they find its a mouthful to say all the time?I always think a child somehow seems to 'look like' the name they're given- not always but as i said- you'll get used to it.

BlueBelle I’m not sure who you think you are but I can tell you are a very nasty person. I came here to ask for other, more experienced grandparents advice on how to deal with it. Not a personal attack from you. You know absolutely nothing about my relationship with my DIL or Son. We happen to be a very open family, one in which we all agree that the values and opinions of others are to be considered at least, it has worked well for other situations and no reason why this should be any different. I have been asked for input as the timing of baby has come as a bit of a surprise to them. My Son serves in the military and is not around at the moment, therefore I am here to support her with all kinds of discussions and will continue to do so as long as she wants me to. In my book, if you are asked a question you answer as honestly and as diplomatic as possible without being offensive. You might want to try it some time.

jenpax, IMO the sort of names you describe are probably not in the same category as the ones that make many people raise eyebrows - or wince out of pity for the child who’s going to be saddled with it.

There are very different types of unusual/different names.

My 3 daughters have unusual names draw from 1) an Ancient Greek legend. 2) , Shakespeare and 3) an Ancient British legend. It has not disadvantaged any of them and to be honest sometimes the contrary! I reasoned that if 5 people were to go for an interview with similar qualifications and experience then their names would stand out and be remembered and therefore might give them the edge! And thus it has proved to be on several occasions.

JdotJ I did have a girl and yes, I named her Laura and I felt great satisfaction telling MIL knowing she didnt like it.

But why would that give you "great satisfaction" ?

I don’t blame you in the least for being worried about a name that you may feel will give the child problems or ‘label’ him or her. I’d be upset/worried, too.

I know it’s popular to pretend that certain names don’t have connotations with a capital C, but the fact is that some names do, perhaps especially over-twee double barrelled, or made up names, or those with a ‘younique’ spelling that’s going to mean the child having to spell it out for ever more.

Unfortunately it’s probably unwise to say anything, unless you want to cause a rift.
Mind you, I’ve heard of prospective parents mischievously telling their own parents/in-laws that they’ve chosen some particularly way-out name - just to see them valiantly try to hide their horror - before confessing that it’s something much more mainstream.

You never know, maybe your relative will ask on the baby names thread on Mumsnet, and have 95% of answers saying Please Don’t Do It!!

I would have liked my Father's name as a middle name for one of my grandsons and my mothers name as a middle name for one of my granddaughters - no such luck - they were named after d.ils grandparents. I was sad at the time, but I've got over it.... My family is not top of the pecking order.

When I was pregnant, 32 years ago, I made the mistake of telling my MIL the names we were thinking of, the girls name being Laura. I can remember to this day, MIL saying 'oh I dont like that'.
'Right', I thought. 'If I have a girl, she's going to be called Laura'.
I did have a girl and yes, I named her Laura and I felt great satisfaction telling MIL knowing she didnt like it.

When thinking of names for our own DC we worried about the "baby" names not suiting them as adults. ie Daisy, Rose which were popular but I thought it could be a burden if Rosie turned out to be more of a turnip than a rose!
You do get used to the names, though we have an unfortunately small name pool as in-laws and cousins have the same names.

In Scotland, in years gone by, it was very common to add ina on to the end of a boy's name, for a girl. Thus you had Thomasina, Andrewina and this year at a graveyard in Caithness I even came across a Hughina, a Donaldina and several Alexandrinas. Thank your lucky stars say I!!

We gave elder son an unusual name which was close to our hearts and thoroughly thought through by us. Interestingly, I recently asked him if it had ever given him any grief and he said 'not once'. He is now 51.

I think the only time it is appropriate to comment negatively is if the combination of name and surname has unfortunate initials or sound that can be misheard. My mother told me she had a teacher at school called Phyllis Irene Greenwood who had her initials on her briefcase!
Working in a school I come across many strange names and often wonder what on earth the parents were thinking; a boy called Maverick and sisters called Antique and Unique! On teaching practice in the seventies I taught a boy called Gordon Bennett!