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Will you go to family at Christmas?

(250 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Tue 24-Nov-20 20:35:44

My son has invited me and my ex for Boxing day.After being in the house since March I don't feel happy about meeting 6 other people indoors and probably getting a lift with one of them. Ex is not happy either but he always gives in.
Are you happy to mix households now before the virus has gone?

SillyNanny321 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:04:58

As I see my son & family now & then as we are in a Support bubble due to my disability, we will have Christmas day together. They both work & children are at school but have good workplace & school precautions in place. So hoping we will continue to be fairly safe. If I did not live alone I would not need Support so we would not be spending Christmas together. If there were not so many selfish people not caring about other people then the virus would not be spreading so easily.

MargaretinNorthant Wed 25-Nov-20 11:05:33

No. It’s too much of a risk.

avery64 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:06:20

Whatever Boris says is 'allowed' we will continue to self-isolate as we have been doing since March. How anyone who is classed as elderly and vulnerable can even consider mixing is beyond me. We miss our grandchildren so much but will continue to Skype so at least we can see and talk to them. I know its not the same as physically being able to hug but our relationship has kept strong thanks to modern technology. Better to be careful in 2020 than being dead and unable to enjoy 2021 and the post Covid vaccine world.

Nannina Wed 25-Nov-20 11:07:00

Re government relaxing restrictions as people would break them anyway. I believe the relaxation will encourage those who might complain but would have kept to existing restrictions to go further. After 9 months of shielding I’m continuing to bubble with my eldest son who is also alone. He’ll see his daughter on Boxing Day and then isolate from me. Planning a spring/summer get together with all family

GillT57 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:08:01

It is very difficult, and especially so for those of you with grandchildren, but I can't help feeling this is all a bit unfair. Firstly, it is unfair to those members of the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish faiths who quietly and without fuss shelved their celebrations. Secondly, I had hoped to get my life back to normal next year, have the vaccination, be able to do a bit of travelling while we are fit enough to do so, but if, as I expect, we are all back into lockdown due to the huge predicted spike in covid19 in January, my plans will have to go on hold again. Thirdly, by throwing this into the public, the government are able to blame us when it spikes. All for the sake of a few presents and a roast dinner hmm. That's without the prospect of everyone going shopping next week when the current restrictions lift. We shall probably have my DS and partner here, they both work from home and self isolate, I do appreciate how hard it must be for people with big families, but I fear all of us will pay the price in January.

rockgran Wed 25-Nov-20 11:09:40

No - I don't want any of us who have sacrificed so much to be caught out when the end is in sight. Let's just be patient!

DinoGran Wed 25-Nov-20 11:11:17

I might visit the two households in driving distance, weather permitting, on Christmas Day with presents and stay for half an hour. I’m happy not to go at all and would rather wait until I’ve been vaccinated. If I don’t do that then we’ll Skype or FaceTime. My only worry is for my GD, who I have a close relationship with, as there’ll be lots of alcohol within that household but if I’m there they may temper it somewhat.

jenni123 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:11:58

I am 78, last christmas was the first one in my life that I spent alone. This year will be the same. I am disabled/housebound, my daughter cannot get here and my son works in NHS and told me from the outset he will not visit as I am at risk.

Maggiemaybe Wed 25-Nov-20 11:17:21

Firstly, it is unfair to those members of the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish faiths who quietly and without fuss shelved their celebrations.

The UK Christmas is way more than a Christian festival these days though. It’s a national holiday that people of nearly all faiths and none celebrate by observing various traditions and getting together with their families.

And of course Christians quietly and without fuss shelved their own most important celebration back in April.

Kim19 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:17:31

One of the joys/freedoms of maturity and retirement for me is that I now don't do anything I have reservations about. I am fortunate enough to be in a bubble and will join the family if invited.

Chocolatechomp Wed 25-Nov-20 11:17:48

I’m also extremely clinically vulnerable like many others. Been isolating for 8 months or so. We will wait till we can have a relaxed dinner altogether that’s safe. Wish Boris hadn’t okayed this ?

4allweknow Wed 25-Nov-20 11:18:07

Totally confused. Same 3 groups over 5 days or any three groups at any time over 5 days. I am inclined to go with same 3 groups. I am torn whether or not to travel, flight booked months ago to visit son and family. Should be there for 2 weeks. Haven't had any problems re mental health but can feel anxiety just thinking about having to cancel.

lincolnimp Wed 25-Nov-20 11:21:28

Our 'local' DD and young family will be with us for lunch, the rest of the family will remain over 200 miles away.
Hopefully Easter will be different and we can all be together

Willow500 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:23:00

For once I actually feel thankful we have no family nearby - one is in NZ and the other now lives over 3 hours away (we've just moved) so we don't have to make this difficult decision. We will just do what we've been doing since March and not go anywhere or see anyone.

TBsNana Wed 25-Nov-20 11:23:05

Technically Tanith this isn't within the rules as once daughter has linked with you for lunch she can only link to one other household - it's three only, exclusively over the 5 days not 3 at any given point.
We won't be pairing with any of our 4 and their families because we ho do we include or leave out?
Also, even if we could make that decision - it's just too risky!

CaroleAnne Wed 25-Nov-20 11:23:21

I can understand that families want to be together at this time of the year and I think that most will be sensible and take the right decisions.
My DH and I will be spending the festive season at home as our daughter and family live on Sidney Australia and our son lives in London. We have decided that it is not worth the worry of what if? There will be plenty of time for celebrations when we can get back to normal not so far ahead either.

Quaver22 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:23:44

I heard a scientist on Newsnight last night describing the Christmas relaxation as “Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory” . We are so near mass vaccination that I shall certainly not be putting myself or my family at risk and I will be staying at home.

Cabbie21 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:24:14

We will not be going anywhere or having anyone here. We are both in the “ elderly” age bracket and DH is clinically vulnerable. It is not worth the risk, as our grandchildren are all at school or university and one also works in Aldi.
The most I can expect is to exchange presents in my daughter’s garden, as she lives just 4 miles away and we are in regular doorstep contact. But it will depend on the state of the virus locally nearer the time.

harrigran Wed 25-Nov-20 11:25:47

I am reluctant to risk our health, I am vulnerable but DH will be at great risk by Christmas and do we want to risk our lives for a few hours on Christmas day.

HeatherTee Wed 25-Nov-20 11:26:44

Although it’s great news for families that for five days, three households can mix with no social distancing.
On a personal level, last night we took the decision not to try to get to Northern Ireland to visit our son, daughter in law and granddaughter even though we are desperate to see them.
It is is not as though it is a car ride away - we would be faced with going through a busy airport at what is normally the busiest time of year and secondly, we would be sat on a plane full of people who, because they are desperate too, might be travelling despite having the mildest symptoms they can get away with in a bid to see their families.
Although this decision has left us feeling empty and very sad, we believe as a family that it is the right thing for us. It will be much better to have quality time when things improve rather than put ourselves at risk now.
Painful as it is for us, we believe it is the best action for us, for now.

Gwenisgreat1 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:31:09

DD1 is planning to host Xmas, she does a wonderful job of it, I provide Xmas pudds, Xmas Cakes and mince pies. Yes, I have every intention of going. It will lift the spirits of both myself and DH

blueberry1 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:31:46

Absolutely not, I love and respect my family too much to put them at risk. Boris is trying to please people but is making a big mistake in my opinion. What's more important than human lives? Oh. of course, Christmas!

TBsNana Wed 25-Nov-20 11:31:56

Iam64 - agree entirely, I can see all sorts of pressures being placed on people to meet up because "it's allowed" or "you're just being silly" and it will set us up for a third wave .

NoddingGanGan Wed 25-Nov-20 11:32:19

Another one here wishing the government had taken a hard line.
I have enough anxiety coping with my AC who lives with me and the enforced social contact she has in her job in the hospitality industry.
I have been furloughed from my job in social care yet again, despite being admin support rather than front line caring, because I'm, "extremely vulnerable".
So on one hand the government is telling me that I need to self isolate and keep safe and on the other hand leaving me to tell other AC that they can't come to stay for Christmas and try and convince them that it's not because I don't miss them and don't want to see them but because I don't want to risk it being the last time I see them!
It's particularly hard with one AC who has had virtually no income since March and whose relationship became a casualty of the first lockdown (both self employed in the Arts) and who has serious MH problems as a result.
Feel like a rabbit caught in headlights right now and just want it all to go away.

Gma29 Wed 25-Nov-20 11:33:20

I shall be going to my daughter for Christmas Day, as she is my support bubble, and I have been seeing her most weeks anyway. She lives about a 10 minute drive away. I won’t be seeing any other family, as we have cancelled the other two big lunches we would normally have.