Emotional blunting

I have been glad to read this,as I hadn't heard of the term emotional blunting and thought that I am the only one to experience this.

It seems that it is something quite common.

With the exception of my relationship of 16 years breaking down,I have been unable to cry for the last 40 years,I am in fact normal.

Although the there is sadness on this thread,we have each opened up painful parts of ourselves,and given comfort to each other ,so thankyou.

I totally agree with with MissA walking wounded is such an apt description

for you all

Some sad stories here. I have always refused medication through my many traumas, due to the old fashioned 'get on with it' attitude in my family.
My life would probably have been happier if I had had some help.

I agree. Walking wounded is very apt for some of us.

If you broke your arm you would accept treatment, you wouldn't even question it, so there is no reason to feel any differently if it’s another sort of pain, a heart pain, an in your head pain. No need to be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable because it really is ok not to be ok.
Medication does help but yes in my limited experience it can dull or blunt things a bit, but maybe that is what is needed and if it helps someone cope with their pain for a short or a longer time, then there should be absolutely no shame in accepting that help.

It's not just medication that can cause emotional blunting. Traumatic life events can do that too, especially when they come one after another.

Yes that’s true Kate.

Kate1949

Some sad stories here. I have always refused medication through my many traumas, due to the old fashioned 'get on with it' attitude in my family.
My life would probably have been happier if I had had some help.

It’s not too late. Please reach out to your GP

We all get marked by life, in various ways.
Very soon it will be 29th anniversary of losing our dear son.

What seem to be major dramas in others lives are much less in ours. Losing a shopping bag, well so be it, we can buy another one. We are more upset by the loss of a pet, or a friend's misfortunes.
So have we become emotionally blunted, of just toughened?

So sorry for the loss if your son Puzzled. I agree with what you say. I am constantly astonished by the things people cry or get upset over but obviously what seems a small matter to me, is important to them.
For instance, a friend phoned me upset that she had lost a tooth and was frantically trying to get the money for an implant.
I was sympathetic and felt for her but what I really wanted to say was (I would never have) 'Try walking in my shoes. My mother let a dentist take all of my teeth out when I was 11.' (I mentioned this on another thread. Apologies for repeating).
I would give anything to be in my friend's shoes but realise that if I was her, I would be equally as upset. Does that make sense? To me it was nothing. To her it was devastating.

But BlueBelle I suspect that just that word "should" and the assertion that you would not take medication is very painful to those who need help - these are the sort of comments that stop them from getting the real help that they badly need - and from continuing it when they might benefit. And for feeling bad about it while they are taking it.

So many people feel they have "resorted" to antidepressants as if it is some sort of failure. Anything that encourages that attitude is a bad thing.

I am on an anti-depressant and feel no guilt or shame about it - I was ill - I needed treatment - end of. And I can verify that it definitely does not blunt my emotions - I cry every day for my OH.

Grief comes to us at some time, and our feelings change, anger, depression arrive to add to the sadness, from time to time.
People say that "time heals" maybe it does, but there are still scars, which vary in size and prominence from time to time.
We all are different, and so cope in different ways. Sadly for some, with alcohol or drugs, which can add to the problem, rather than alleviating, once the "anaesthetic" wears off.
We need to be strong, and support from family and friends is without price.

MissAdventure you are right. I take medication for a medical condition. What is the difference.
As others have said we are all different but do not try to fit into a ‘norm’.
I am sorry that you feel you cannot grieve but maybe the grief is too deep at the moment.
An analogy - my DS had an gouge on his leg. It went so deep it did no bleed or hurt. It went too deep.

Flaxseed you say your beloved father, so I’m assuming you had a very good relationship with him. My husband died four years ago and if one made a list of requirements for a perfect father, he would fit the bill (I won’t mention the husband list? only joking) So I have been surprised how my two AC have taken his death with complete equanimity. I’m sure they miss him, but no upset.
Now I had a violent father and all sorts of tempestuous feelings erupted when he died, so maybe the less complicated, the more accepting?
I also like the saying “Thoughts that lie too deep for tears” but can’t remember who wrote it.

hollysteers
That’s an interesting point of view.
My Dad was the most gentle, kindest man. He was loved by everyone who met him. He was always there for me and I miss him so very much.
I find it so difficult to understand my lack of tears, but you have given me another perspective. Thank you

I feel some comfort after reading some of these posts. I often wonder if I am abnormal in my lack of tears. I very rarely cry, whereas I know my older sister has a good cry over something at least once a week!

No tears at funerals for me, or saying goodbye to friends or family leaving after visits, and yet when a silly commercial comes on the TV I will well up. There's no accounting for it.