More to life? But what?

I was 62 when my husband died. We had let the bungalow and been travelling round Europe with the caravan for ten years. After spending two years, wintering in Spain and summers in U.K. came back. I have never driven. After setting the bungalow to rights I went on several coach holidays home and abroad and flew out to America and Barbados visiting relatives until I was 85. Only gave up because of arthritis and I had spent all my savings.
Cannot understand people who think that retirement means stagnating.

It's not just the things already mentioned re a canal boat, they are not as cheap to run as people think, they need lots of maintenance, licenses, safety certs, insurance. If you are cruising you need to keep moving on, so difficult for doc and dentist, and it's hard to do without someone on land to act as your address there are always some letters, hospitals send letters, even if most things are online. It needs to be someone you are happy to open post and scan for you. Also not easy as you get older to get in and out of the boat and people say taxis but if you are out in the sticks they are dear. An accident changed my ideas of moving somewhere with little public transport, just to go to post offices pharmacies or shops
So not sure what I'll do as I retire but know I need a sensible base

40 years ago, my Grandmother took to travelling the world when she was in her 70s. Life had not been easy for her and she had no intention of wasting the rest of it!
Her spirit inspires me!

After retirement we lived in a bungalow for 17 years and thoroughly enjoyed it - great being able to vacuum the whole house from one socket! However, when we moved nearer to our children 3 years ago, I realised I was glad to get away from all the older residents as I was constantly looking out for their wellbeing! And if an ambulance or police car went up the street, I just had to check things were ok. Now we're in a house and have no contact with our neighbours, and feel isolated.....

However, I'm with kittylester in advocating volunteering. I've been volunteering for more than 15 years : Books on Wheels (5 years); Foodbank (5 years) and currently, when Covid allows : with The Reader - running a reading group and also reading to a disadvantaged child. The enjoyment and satisfaction gained from volunteering with an organisation with whose aims you are in sympathy. You have colleagues again, make new friends and have a great sense of purpose. I really recommend it.

There are a lot of smug comments on here suggesting buying a motor home or visiting exotic destinations. Not everybody is in the same fortunate position financially.

I would love to travel, do exciting things, but sadly no one to go with. Divorced, all my friends are married and my closest one's husband has retired and she does everything with him now. The promises that were made that it wouldn't change our friendship was never kept. I know I haven't the nerve to travel alone, but I feel life is passing me by. I keep thinking when this is over I need a good kick up the bum and enjoy the life I've been given.

My advice would be to do what you want to do. My late partner and I talked a lot about holidays, buying a Motorhome and visiting his relatives in Australia. We talked about it and somehow always ended up talking ourselves out of it for a variety of reasons. We did have some lovely Christmases in Germany. Sadly he died nearly two years ago and we never did what we wanted to do. I would still love to do some of the things we discussed but it is not so easy on your own.

We are all so restricted at the moment OP all you can do is plan for the future.
Last winter my OH bought a boat. We had NOT discussed it. I went with him under false pretences and worst of all I’m afraid of deep water.
This year during lockdown it was a lifesaver. Each week we spent 2-3 days on board with no contact with anything but nature, safe from the virus, harming nobody.
I hope you find something to make the future bright. We travelled a lot but now feel less inclined to plan long journeys.
Life has changed but we can find things to look forward to.

If you enjoy seeing different places why not buy a motor home? .Home NOT a caravan. Although caravans are not quite the same as H and self used to spend holidays in when our children were small they will get you wherever and when ever.

Littleannie
The majority of things in life come at a cost.
Be they financially or at the cost of a relationship .Sitting back and thinking should I shouldn't I gets us no where . I admire anyone who in later life has the means enabling them to follow a dream.

Just a word of warning about camper vans. We bought a shiny new one and found there are snags to the owning of campers. Firstly, we discovered that neither of us particularly enjoyed driving it. It is quite different to driving a car! Secondly, in the UK you are not allowed to simply pull into a layby in the countryside or a beach car park for the night, you have to book a place at a campsite - and I could tell you some scary stories about campsites I have visited, especially about the toilet blocks - and remember, not all campsites have toilet blocks anyway. The bed in our van was a 'rock'n'roll' type, which should be avoided at all costs. It required a great deal of effort with a very strong arm to pull it out each evening and then had to be made up from scratch every night with bedding stored in a locker. In the morning you had to do the opposite before you could get to the kettle to make a cup of tea. We had a porta-potti in the van for use at night but we were mostly reliant on campsite toilet blocks or public loos. If you are used to visiting your en-suite bathroom several times a night at home this may bother you. We persevered for two years but in the end decided it was not for us and sold it. What a relief! So I would just say that the idea of taking off on a sunny day on the spur of the moment in your camper van sounds great but the reality may be somewhat different. Think carefully before committing! You can pay for a lot of hotel rooms for the cost of a camper van.

Littleannie I think your remarks are unfair. The OP says she is not rich, but not poor, so can contemplate a change.
Others have suggested humble coach trips or other trips within the U.K. as well as volunteering etc.
My own cousin has recently bought a second hand motor home which needs quite a lot of work, but that is his lockdown project and gives the family something to look forward to.

A motorhome sounds fabulous, I would love to try that but my husband is not keen. I feel as if one life is not long enough to try out all the things I would like to do. However I love the life I have, even in the lockdown when I don't go out or see my friends. I like being at home and normally I am just dashing in between each activity. I look forward to having some unhurried time in my two greenhouses and the garden. I do ballet based exercises from Youtube. I am lucky enough to still do a bit of counselling and supervising from home via telephone. My husband spent the first lock-down at home with me and we were together for the longest period in our 52 years of marriage. It was lovely, we both took the trouble to be kind and polite to each other, didn't take each other for granted and it felt like a special and unexpected present. He has worked through the beginning of the second lock-down but if things turn out as expected he should be spending a good part of the winter at home with me. We are not seeing our family this year for Christmas as we all agree that it is better to be safe than sorry and we will have a lovely get together when things feel safe again. For people who think "Is this it?" who could have imagined the year we have just had? We never know what is coming, it has taught us that if nothing else. I totally understand how much more difficult it is for people living and coping on their own, but my Granny used to say that you can be as happy or unhappy as you choose to be.

Your Granny sounds very wise, kwest!

kwest I’m afraid I don’t agree at all with your granny, it’s a rather trite saying. People have terrible tragedies in life, how can they choose to be happy undergoing these?

My goodness.... I thought I was the only one who thought like the OP.... yep, I feel JUST he same!!! I have very itchy feet even though I’m 72 .... and hope to do something about it next year ?

I do sympathise with people who are on their own. I was widowed when I was quite young and have since remarried. I’m inspired by a friend who has always been single. She travels a great deal. When things are better regarding travel she enjoys coach trips both in the UK and abroad. You’re looked after every step of the way and always have company. There are also companies such as Just You and Solos which she says are very good.

Ditto MaidMarion

@J52 - my granny also suddenly came alive in her 70s. She didn't travel the world but suddenly started visiting family that she hadn't seen for years, including a sister she had been estranged from for nearly 50 years. It was over 30 years since she had been outside her small Welsh village. She even came to visit me in London with one of her sisters who I had never met and who lived just 20 miles away from me.

I went on a walking holiday last year when I turned 60 to the Amalfi Coast. The age range was 50-80 and we all had a wonderful time. A few people were there as part of a friendship group but there were a lot like me on my own and we had a ball. Great walking and a wonderful week. Whilst I was on my own I wasnt alone and felt safe traveling with a group.

At 73 and 71, my husband and I are also planning a significant move - from Rural Lincolnshire to rural North of Scotland! Sadly, we are currently tied up with lots of "legalese" stuff i.e. finding and obtaining Certificates for work done since we bought the Bungalow (we are hoping to buy another one, since hubby cannot manage steps!). We will be literally 700 miles away from family and fiends - but hope to make more. We will have a new area to explore, as we can no longer manage holidays. Hubby has a back injury which means he cannot bend, and he has a 52 inch chest (ex Rugby Player - so not a small man) and cannot fit into a small shower (or climb into one with a 4" high tray). Furniture in Hotels or self catering is another problem. Usually it's much too low down for him to get into or out of! Existing family do not visit anyway, so I'm sure we will be fine. We will probably miss our former Church Community and our local friends, but can keep in touch with them in the same ways that we have already been doing, due to Covid. Yes, It's a risk to make big changes later in life (we all get set in our ways - and we tend to need more medical care) - but Life is for Living. Yes, it's possible and eventually certain that one or other of us will pass away, and the survivor will be left alone. That will be hard, but staying where we are will not change that. If you really want to do something, think it through, certainly - but if you want to try it, Go for it, I say!

Sorry - "fiends" should of course, be friends!

I feel just like you LadyBella. I know I am lucky, I do count my blessings, but I want to do more. I found volunteering a wonderful challenge before Covid. I would deliberately pick things to do that took me slightly outside my comfort zone and forced me to meet new people and learn new skills. I miss those jobs more than I would probably admit to anyone. I used to get up full of purpose every morning and the weeks seemed to fly by. In normal times there is a web site called Do it with local opportunities. Nothing on it at the moment of course.

NotTooOld
The uk is not a friendly motohome country. France is going that way. The Spanish have good and bad days ?
Sweden is the most friendly county for motohomers.
Our toilet has a holding tank so we can go a long time before we have to pump out.
We have a rock and roll bed but it's never used as our bed is in the back and can be ajusted for seating in 2 mins. Our television is in that area. That is supplied through a satellite system.

I certainly feel like many of you. I hated becoming 70 and my body has certainly started to tell me about it. I have so many frustrations and now find I resent doing the 'normal jobs' and spend hours on Youtube learning things. I am full of ideas and but don't seem able to focus on anything.

We have good pensions so no financial worries. I retired at 63 and we happily started childcare for grandchildren. My husband took early retirement and never looked back. We are blessed in many ways and have had good holidays and friendships in the past.

We are now in our early 70s and I desperately want to move having lived in our house for many years but we don't know where to go, stairs are becoming a problem. I would also love a camper van, but hubby not keen. He has your sentiments exactly NotTooOld, and now I'm not sure if we are too old for roughing it. As you say, you can buy a lot of hotel breaks for the cost of the camper van. Life seems to have come to a standstill but DH is always positive that things will turn out well, and most times they do. We are both looking forward to getting fit again, and getting on with what time we have left.