Miss, Ms or Mrs

Cross her off your Christmas cad list!!!

It sounds like your friend is smarting over her new status, even if she is the one who instigated it. However, there was absolutely no need for rudeness however angry she might be

I get cards from a couple of academics and am never sure if they are prof or doc so I usually address to The X Family.

GALAXY I think Lucyloo was referring to the envelope, not the actual card?

I started using 'Ms' for myself as soon as it started appearing on forms for completion. Very handy when I got divorced ?

I agree with others, she's still married so, unless she tells you otherwise, she is still Mrs.
I know many women who have kept Mrs and their ex-husband's name after divorce. The suggestion that after divorce they use their own first name sounds right, but such conventions have gone by the board now.
There is no need for your friend to be so snappy with you, you used the correct title - though I'm sure you'd have been happy to use her preferred version if she'd said something to you.
And in any case does it really matter?

No wonder she's unmarried

Seriously though, some people seem to like to cling on to their 'titles' as if the postperson cares about their marital status or gender. I find it a tad distasteful to dispense with 'titles' for that reason. My trick with the Ms/Miss/Mrs condundrum is simply to mess-up the title on the envelope. Doesn't work with typing of course.

My own title is Dr but I am variously called all sorts of things in post. I just feel privileged if the sender has my name right. For some it might be best to ask them their preferred mode of address next time you speak with them; and if you're not on conversational terms, why send a card?

Seriously! If that is her only worry...good for her.
I would not send anything again.
I would like to think you at least had a thank you for the card

So annoyed me your friend’s attitude. So petty. No card next year. If she queries it say didn’t want to get it wrong. Seasons greetings.

Back in the 70s I was taught this ditty

When you call me Miss or Mrs,
You invade my private life.
For it is none of your business.
If I am or was a wife.

Now we have the added title of Mx to ensure that gender is not an issue.

I’m divorced and loathe getting mail addressed to me as Mrs. I no longer - not that I ever did - ‘belong’ to a Mr! (I often wonder if originally there was an apostrophe in that title - ie. Mr’s!) I’d rather be addressed as Ms if a title must be used, but the way I identify is by my first name. I changed my surname from that of my ex to my family surname shortly before decree absolute.

I don't do Mrs Ms or suchlike. Though married. I think it is funny that husband's first wife is still his surname and Mrs. They were married for about three years and have been divorced well over 20 years. No children. We have been married over 15 years.
The other kinda quirky bit was his sister has the same first name as me. Would have definitely been confusing

Reverted to maiden name after horrid court hearing with ex when was referred to in same sentence with him as Mrs Ex’sname (I won said court hearing btw).
My now DH was waiting patiently outside and was supportive if my changing back even then when we married - 26 years ago - understood I needed to keep my name. I’ve been Ms ever since as Mrs was my much loved Mum.
It seems to cause other people more bother than it does us. DH and DS plus now DDIL all have the same name - DDIL loves being Mrs. But just not for me. Very happy in my Ms-dom
BTW. - think your friend very rude, there are ways of letting people know your preferred title and if planning on being long term friend then no need for instant retribution.

I’ve always thought Ms sounded like an angry bumblebee ?. ?

Feel for you, when my sister divorced over 30 years ago I assumed she was still Mrs but she reverted to her married surname with Miss. I had booked flights for us to go away together and she made me pay to have the tickets changed to Miss!!
Happily remarried 2 years ago she is now Mrs again, except on her passport!!!!
You can't win.

I think she’s probably in some turbulence or sensitivity over the ‘recent separation’ and might feel upset however she was addressed. If you liked her enough to send a card, let it go for the moment until she’s through it.

How utterly pompous of her. Send her one addressed to Madam next year.

If you are widowed you keep your late husbands name ie mrs j ...
If you are divorced I think you please yourself. I am divorced and still use mrs with my initial although my ex has since died. Why would I want to go back to miss when I have 3 children and GC and GGC. As for ms I leave that for the feminists who still think they have something to prove
I dont, I am very comfortable with who I am.

I always put Dr for myself, as in ‘Dr Bucket’ (pronounced Bouquet)

When I was still at school, a long time ago, I went to join the library in the town where my school was. ( Bookworm who needed more books than a village library could supply. ) I filled out the form giving my title as Ms because I wanted to be up to date. The librarian gave it back saying that I had to put Miss as Ms was just for divorcees!

Tell her lifes too blooming short to quibble over whats written on an envelope that will be disguarded anyway. She should be happy to recieve your card as its a token of ongoing friendship and lots of those are lost when couples split up. Merry Christmas ?

I might be tempted to text back and say that curt responses telling people off are rude, and if she has a preferred title following her divorce, and is so sensitive about this, perhaps she should have been courteous enough to let her friends know.

Good grief I am a feminist ( hard?) based on the belief of equal treatment. I changed my accounts to Ms as soon as I was able whilst happily married, but I had taken my husbands name .. long story. I had an account at a store at the time (Schofields) and they wrote to me to close the account as my new title implied I was divorced and therefore no longer enjoying the financial support of a husband. That’s why we are feminists ... equality.
I entitle people or not according to their preference. If your fried is close she surely can tell you when she is p** off? Take it with a pinch of salt and just say ‘Will do’

I have been divorced a long time. I went back to my maiden surname. I am not a Mrs. I suppose I could say I am a Miss as I am unmarried! But why should I be defined by my marital status? Men are Mr and that’s it. So I decided to be Ms. It shows I am female but does not describe my marital status. I have been amused when people have said, are you a lesbian? Or are you a feminist! What exactly is a feminist? If it is someone who has their own mind and thinks for themselves, then I guess I must be! If I am in doubt what to put on a letter or card I just put their first name and surname. Nobody is offended by their own name!

I just put names on envelopes, never titles, mainly because, as others have said, these days it's just plain odd to differentiate women's marital status and not men's. (If someone has a job title like Major or The Rev'd, for example, I do use that).

On the other hand, when it comes to me, I'm perfectly happy to use Miss if an application requires it. I'm not married, never have been, happy with my lot (even though it wasn't what I had expected), and am not apologetic about my marital status.

We were all supposed to use Ms as a sign of our liberation (that didn't work did it?) so t was impossible to tell who was married and who wasn't.
I stuck to Mrs when I got divorced. Ms was very hard to pronounce and explaining it to primary schools was too much. "How do you say that miss?"" Is it once 's' or two?" "Does that mean you're not married, miss?" I gave up!