Miss, Ms or Mrs

I'm was divorced by my husband ten years ago but, being a devout Catholic, am still married in the eyes of God.
No human institution can dissolve the sacrament of marriage. I am deeply insulted by anyone addressing me as Ms. My cousin did this on her recent Christmas card. I was hurt.
I don't think it's for others to decide what anyone should be called. I'm sure if someone wishes to change their name or title after a divorce or bereavement they're capable of making that known. It's just rude, presumptive and controlling to change it for them without consultation.

Oh, for goodness’ sake! Why can’t we just call people what they want to be called instead of getting all shirty about the ‘correct’ title? As for the ‘she should be grateful to get a card...’ stuff, Christmas spirit, ladies and gentlemen! A little of that around here would be nice at this time of year.

I adopted the Quaker way many years ago. No titles, just forename and surname. Works for me, except when online forms for, say, a bank account demand a title and they won't take 'none' for an answer.

The bank claims that they need it to distinguish male from female. But of course, if you have a PhD or you are a physician then you are Dr regardless of chromosomal status. Or, indeed, of marital status.

I am divorced twice! It's cost me a lot of money to get divorced. I've also changed my name. I'm now Miss Pacey. So if anyone calls me Mrs l correct them.

I get really irritated if I'm referred to as "Mrs" especially by organisations or firms that have my contact details in front of them. I've always been Ms if I've had to use any title at all. I'd much rather be known by my name only.

Why not just put her first and last names - forget the Miss/Mrs/Ms.
However, how rude of her to pick you up on this. I have been divorced for over 15 years now and still get called ‘Mrs ...’. Better that than being ignored.

I don’t like the term Ms and don’t like to use Miss for older people, it sounds very spinsterish! If you are widowed then I think it is OK to use Mrs. Otherwise I would just use name or initial.

If you are widowed you are still Mrs DH but if you are divorced do you really still want to be known as Mrs EX?

"spinsterish"- that sounds like something out of the dim and distant past.
What's wrong with being single? Women no longer need to marry in order not to starve

What a rude chit. That's the thank you she gave you for caring enough to send her a card? You should have been the one telling her off for being an ingrate, rather. I hope you will "miss" sending her any more cards, ever.

Exactly, I am 64. I refer to myself as a spinster. Don't give a flying s**t what others think. But one thing's for sure, I am the very opposite of a shriveled, dried up old woman! No one could ever accuse me of that, spinster or not.

BlueSky

If you are widowed you are still Mrs DH but if you are divorced do you really still want to be known as Mrs EX?

Doesn’t bother me. I liked my married name better than my unmarried name in any case.

I use tireless in this way too but sometimes by omitting the titles you can cause confusion if for example several people in a household share the same surname and initials.
It's not so bad for birthdays when sending cards because when the card drops through the door, it's pretty obvious who is for but at xmas or with other posted correspondence throughout the year, the wrong person could open something they legally shouldn't

When my eldest was away at university, he started adding titles such as Countess to any mail (birthday/mother's day cards) he sent me. At that time, we were still relative newcomers to the village, so I don't know what the postman made of it ?

I kept my married surname after divorce as it was a nicer name. Much to the annoyance of my ex's new wife.

I was going to post that it may depend on your maiden name compared with your married name.

I did go out with a couple of people who had more interesting surnames than DH's.

By the time I divorced, my baby brother had married a woman with the same first name as mine, so reverting to my original family name would have caused all sorts of complications. I was also moderately well known in my professional field by my married name. Besides, I preferred my married name.

Fortunately it was a very civilised divorce, and I asked my ex-husband and ex-MiL if they minded me keeping their family name. Ex-H didn’t mind at all, and MiL was delighted that I wanted to do so.

100% feminist here! Some posters appear not to know the definition. Women are treated as 2nd class citizens in many ways. Why do women take a man’s name? Why do only women take a title that announces if they are married or not, but men don’t? It is seriously ridiculous in the 21st century!

Each to there own but I would have horrified if I wasn't addressed as Mrs. I am widowed. As far as I am concerned I am still married.

Death ended my husband life. It did not end our marriage/relationship in my eyes.

Legally I must put widowed on earth. However I do not see myself as single nor ever will. I am still married

I think its getter to leave a title off if you are unsure.

I was Ms when I met my 2nd husband 19 years ago. I had reverted to my maiden name. My daughter is not married and I always use Ms with her which she uses too.

I think that a title, whatever it might be, is often a mark of respect. Having been a teacher for many years, I was very used to being addressed as Mrs Allegretto. I quite missed it when I retired and realised that (almost) everybody now called me by my first name.

wow, nine pages on this thread!
In Germany, where I come from, they did away with 'Fraulein' back in the seventies, at least officially, though it took some time to be universally adopted. (Which it has been for some time now, so addressing a young German woman as 'Fraulein' is certainly a faux pas!)

For as long as I have lived in the UK I have used 'Ms' - single, married, divorced, always Ms. Why should anyone infer my marital status from my title? It's nobody's business.

And don't get me started on women being addressed by their husbands' first name plus surname! That is a throwback to the dark ages.

Also, it took me a long time to get used to school kids calling female teachers Miss. That seems extremely oldfashioned! If they call male teachers 'Sir', surely the female equivalent would be 'Madam'??

Oh, and I always kept my own name.

Never changed my name either.

Agree KaEllen!

I am sorry LucyLoo12 that you were on the receiving end of somebody's bad manners. It seems as if the said (and sad) lady is grumpy because of the mess in her personal life & she decided to take it out on you. I would not bother with "friends" like this one. It is so exhausting to remember everyone's foibles & preferences. Delete her text, delete her name from your mobile, delete her from your life. Delete, delete, delete! Do not get caught in somebody's web of grievances & telling off-s: you are not a fly, you are a butterfly! Merry Xmas!