am I being unreasonable

You are definitely doing the right thing. As for “being in their bubble”, I thought you could only be in a support bubble if one of the two households consisted of a single person??? I am on my own and in a support bubble with my brother and sil. They live eight miles away, but we are not visiting each other during the current lockdown as it is totally unnecessary and we all feel very strongly about doing the right thing.

DH in the wrong.
Another take would be - the house to myself for a week. BLISS...

A ninety minute journey just to visit family hardly constitutes an essential journey does it?
YANBU! Stay home, let OH go and if he gets a fine when stopped by the police just say "I told you so"!

If you're in a bubble with them you're allowed to go, though I'd be inclined not to unless you have had at least your first vaccine and it was over 3 weeks ago. After that your chances of becoming badly ill with covid are very much reduced

I think you are in the right. Is your husband using his going as blackmail to get you to give in and go to? Keep to the rules and as suggested above but tell him he will have to self isolate when he comes home and look after himself. Do his own cooking and washing and you will not be shopping for him he can do it online etc, he'll soon change his mind.

Maggiemaybe

HannahLoisLuke

Maggiemaybe

So you know that the OP’s family doesn’t include a child under 5 with disabilities, or a baby under 12 months old on 2 December 2020?

How, exactly?

The OP has already said that they don’t need childcare.

They don't need childcare next week. That doesn't mean they don't have children, does it?

We know they have children, the OP has said her son and his family during half term. She also says they don’t need childcare, a superfluous remark if no children are involved.
The point is that her husband wants to visit even though he doesn’t need care and neither do the sons family.
He shouldn’t go.

I’ve just read the rules again on childcare bubbles, it still says you can only form a childcare bubble with one other household.
Santana, you might find it helpful to click on MaggieMaybes link and then click again on the childcare bubble link within it.

Is your son a single parent? If there are two adults on the house the other he or you are allowed a bubble. A childcare bubble is only for actual childcare such as caring for the kids while the parents are at work.
The only way it would be legal for a visit if he is single not is if your son and the children’s mother were to not be at home. Your not allowed to use childcare bubbles to socialise with other adults, which if it’s not childcare and other adults gone is what you are doing. So not only is it too far it is against the law unless your son is a single parent.

In the UK I think you can only bubble if you are living on your own? It’s not two families. It’s one family plus a single person household? Correct me if I’m wrong!

Frue you've made your decision, DH has made his. I suspect he has reached the end of his tether and you can't change his mind. But don't allow yourself to be miserable and don't let it effect your relationship. Let Grandad send lots of lovely pics to you. FaceTime them all. And plan a lovely week for yourself doing all the things that you wouldn't normally do when he was there. As Brigidsdaughter said it could be bliss!

My sister & I both live alone, so formed a support bubble, even though we live 25 miles apart. As neither of us has a car we decided, when lockdown was reintroduced that our meeting could not be classed as essential journeys, therefore we haven't seen each other at all this year, difficult as it is. So, I'm absolutely on your side regarding this matter & think your husband & son are being extremely irresponsible.

Considering you are more than five miles away, you have made the right decision and shouldn’t be offending anyone

I remember the flu of 1969 I was 10 and came home from school with it. Nan lived with us and her bed was down stairs so I climbed in waiting for mum to come home Two days later I was up and running about as normal. Nan was in hospital and never came home. To this day I can't forgive myself even though I know it was not really my fault. Both my DH and I have not left the house since March as there is no way we want to be responsible for passing it on to anyone and of course don't want to get it ourselves. You are defiantly doing the right thing.

I can’t believe that a childcare bubble would be so far away and you can’t have any other sort of bubbles with them as bubbling is for single adults or single adults with children. From what you describe you wouldn’t be in either category and in my opinion it would be a foolish thing to do. Perhaps you could show your husband the official guidelines and persuade him not to go. It would be very unwise, and positively illegal to go. Plus you would be putting yourselves and your family at risk. Take care xx

I would be really annoyed that he organised this without discussing with me

This sort of situation really makes me mad for myself but also for all the other people who are making sacrifices and Frues husband just feels he can go on holiday miles away presumably just because it is half term and he wants to. What a horribly pig headed man. This is so wrong, he can’t be in the families family bubble as it’s stated that they don’t need child care, he is not a single grandparent as he has Frue and he shouldn’t be travelling so far. I am usually very fair minded but Mr Frue is one of the reasons our Covid rates and deaths
are so high. If he doesn’t understand the rules now then hopefully the Police will be involved and he will be fined. It sounds as if Frues son takes after his father and is as bloody minded and arrogant. Well done Frue for resisting.

Each and every one of us has personal responsibility and you are taking action fulfilling your personal responsibility in my view 100% Don't be at all upset let your husband decide for himself what he wishes to do. be true to yourself and so then you are accountable for your own actions. You then can both do as you feel is right bless you

Government has received a lot of emails in support of gender neutral toilets. They now need more emails from women (and men!) saying they don't like gender neutral to offset this.

You can simply email [email protected] saying you are emailing in response to their consultation on toilet provision. Tell them you don't like the move to gender neutral and you want single-sex toilets. You can give reasons if you like but you don't have to. Its sending the email that counts to register your dislike of GN. This is simply a numbers game at this stage.

We are not advertising this action publicly on social media because that will only provoke the TRA to send more pro-gender neutral emails. This should remain a secret action only. We have until 26th February but best to just get an email sent now and get it done. Nothing gets published. Your names will not be made public

Frue there are posters who have not read the recent (confusing) bubble rules. You are in a (? Childcare?) bubble. Husband want to go because it is half term. But they don’t need childcare. So it is a trip. So not essential on the face of it. But the family are upset. So something afoot, even if it is only family disappointment. And a rupture between you and your husband. So sad for you in this conflict, but honestly, is this worth some of the ire on here? And police? And fines? Not IMHO

Unless for essential childcare purposes then your bubble is illegal. A single person household is allowed to bubble with ONE other household of any size - for example myself and my husband are bubbled with a single elderly friend who lives just down the road. Is it really worth breaking the rules now when freedom due to the vaccination is so close now? So far as I can see, reading the government rules for bubbles, your husband will be breaking the rules and could be fined if he is stopped by the police.

Frue Is your son a single parent?

I was under the impression that we were not allowed to leave our local area? People travelled 15 miles to go sledging and were fined in my area so I think your journey is not allowed in the current lockdown.

This is so hard for you to have such an important difference of opinion with your nearest relatives, your son and your husband.

Unless your relationship with these relations is such that they seriously respect your opinion there is nothing you can do to stop it happening.

When your husband comes home, you should keep away from him, ventilate your rooms thoroughly, and wash all his personal cutlery and toiletries very thoroughly and frequently until he has finished such quarantine as you are able to provide.

I think it is very sad how these restrictions are causing tensions within families. I know from experience the problems that are caused when others in the family do not see things the way you do.

It is no good anyone going on about the rules/advice/guidelines/ fines. At the end of the day you will have to live with your husband and presumably you still want contact with your son and his family. Those are the issues you should be taking into account.

Will the family be terribly upset if you don't go?
If you disapprove maybe it is better that you aren't there.
I don't think you can lay down the law, though, one way or the other. Your husband and son are both adults and can make their own decisions whether or not you approve.

Your decision too has to be respected. But that doesn't mean they have to like it. There are likely to be consequences whatever you do so make sure you make the right decision.

Marjgran

We have no idea why your husband wants to go? Maybe good reasons? If half term, parents may be very pressed. If there is no response and you suspect they are hurt, maybe there is more to this. We have to keep a sense of proportion and common sense. You don’t say whether the family are out and about and exposed, or relatively risk free, same with husband. Many families are making tough choices. I know one who from the outset have gone in and out of their daughter’s house to help with everything including childcare (has husband working from home) throughout whole pandemic. Daughter has severe life shortening and threatening underlying health conditions, had a stroke during last lockdown, both units have shielded from anyone else, but clearly against the earlier rules. But good on them - they have staved off other calamities.

Good on them! For using common sense. It's a rare commodity these days. If all of us had used our common sense from the beginning instead of blindly following what we were told to do we wouldn't be in the mess we in are now.