Inverted snobbery or just jealousy?

Always good to hear about successes.
Gt66... don't read OPs then.

gt66

Whitewavemark2

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

What a condescending reply! I expect you've made the OP feel really bad!

I'm sick to death of these kind of replies and is why I've never started a thread myself; I've seen so many replies like this from posters asking a perfectly innocent question. I wonder how many other members out there that feel like this?

There is number of them on here who I too have noticed to be condescending gt66. Or if it does not happen in their world it should not happen at all and is questioned whether a thread is genuine and real...they need to get their blinkers off and look not just ahead of them but to look to the side too.

I agree with you.

Hard work alone is never enough to guarantee the same level of standard of living for the same effort. How well life treats us has got a lot to do with luck, being in the right place at the right time, who you know, not what you know, whether you receive unearned income such as inheritances, gifts, or lottery winnings, and probably above all else equality of opportunity. We don't all start life from the same starting line. So it stands to reason we are not all going to reach the same finishing line.

While success ( and luck) is something we should be able to celebrate and enjoy, we should spare a thought for those less fortunate. It costs nothing to be tactful and discreet about one's wealth. Having money, and owning expensive material possessions does not automatically make anyone a better person.

Why are you worrying about this? As long as you have never changed your attitude to her then you are in the clear.
I have suffered at the hands of a much younger SIL and know what your friend feels like. She just needs to know that her close friends are still with her. Hard work brings rewards.

The only place that luck comes before work is in the dictionary.

Oh yes gt66 i agree with you 100% . I am an observer here, never have and probably never will write with any concerns i might have because of nasty 'whitewavemark2' types i have seen quite often here. Twitter type comments have no place here in my opinion.

Urmstongran
How true. I have a friend who was given the house she lives in ( by her father) When he died he left her another house, which she rents out. Then she bought another property and rents that out.
She is an envious person and wants to know the price of everything.
Her un- happiness is caused by a not very good relationship with her children.

I doubt if many people would worry about is. I do not think the OP is worried particularly, she just noticed people behaving a certain way and wondered how common it is.

Personally I love watching the vagaries of human behaviour and how different people react to different circumstances and puzzling out why. I mean it is the exceptions that catch the eye, not those all doing the same thing.

Nanette1955

Whitewavemark2 unnecessarily nasty remark, so maybe you’re on the wrong site! I’m pretty sure this forum isn’t about making people feel bad, sad or mad, and your comment covers two out of the three!

Give it a rest. We have dealt with this already. Where are you all coming from?

I have to say that whitewave and Maggie May have suffered the same judgemental opinions from others. I agree with Maggiemay that the ‘problem’ aired is also not one that would concern me at all.

Skipping through loads of posts I just wanted to add my pen'orth:

I try not to be envious of anyone and I hope no-one is envious of me
There was a time when I got annoyed and perhaps it was jealousy.
My son was clever and after uni he wanted to go into the law but to do so he needed some financial support which we were not in a position to offer. He chose another route and is happy in another profession.
A few years later his cousin was in the same situation but her parents were in a position to help her and she is now a successful lawyer. Fine, except my DM kept on about how clever her DGD was and no mention of the leg up.
Bitter? Moi?

By the way I don't think it is particularly British to rejoice at another's failure. What about schadenfreude? The Germans have a word for it.

Good on them I say! When I got divorced I got myself on the property ladder and renovated a couple of houses to be where I am now. It was hard work, but then I heard others had been saying I cleaned my ex husband when our divorce was settled, to get my home. I didn't even go after his pensions, savings, bonds, etc. I got part of the sale of the house and that was it.
People just can't see others doing well for themselves without the green eyed monster raising it's ugly head.

Whitewavemark2 unnecessarily nasty remark, so maybe you’re on the wrong site! I’m pretty sure this forum isn’t about making people feel bad, sad or mad, and your comment covers two out of the three!

Gransnet, logically, has to be a microcosm of life. I've been horrified by the occasional replies made to some posters who have asked for advice about problems, but in those same threads there have been a majority of kind responses from people who have compassion, and probably empathy. Sadly there are those who think a harsh answer is what's needed, a 'pull yourself together' solution, and there were also a few posters on here a year or so ago who were spiteful, rude and aggressive, hiding behind their anonymity. Fortunately they don't seem to contribute these days. It would be a pity if anyone stopped posting or didn't ask for advice because of the few - they can always be ignored.

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

I don't take this as meaning it wasn't worthy of discussion, M0nica. Isn't Whitewave just saying it's not something she'd worry about? Neither would I, to be honest.

Agree

As my lovely grandmother used to say there are no pockets in shrouds we came in the same way and we will go out the same way no matter how wealthy we are

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

Can you imagine what GN would be like if we only had long tendentious discussions on The important things in life. No cakes and ale, nothing funny, nothing that has not come before a committee and been officially considered and countersigned as_important_. No joyful tales, no stories of personal difficulties, where help is needed. No Christmas, no birthdays. It would be a return to the dark days of the Puritan era.

Would we, under those circunstances even have a Gransnet? Or would we all have died of boredom?

GillT57

There are half a dozen really irritating posters on here who keep going on and on and on about how harsh some posters are on GN. Stop stirring the pot, stop needlessly agreeing with each other, and stop barking on about one post out of many. There; is that nasty enough for you? Please contribute to any thread you wish, all comments are valid and welcome but please stop trying to derail the topic. Thank you and welcome!

Oh, hear, hear, * GillT57*, and PippaZ and Sodapop, and anyone else calling out the major pile-on over a mildly critical post.

The OP's a longstanding GNer and is slightly puzzled by a bit of jealousy shown to a friend. She's not a timid new member asking for support to get her through a tragic life event. If that were the case, then yes, it would be highly insensitive to say there are worse problems. As it is, Whitewave is as entitled to her opinion as anyone else.

Gt66
I agree that condescending remarks are not helpful. I'm new to the site and recently posted about my grandkids moving across country. Thankfully, after a few judgey remarks I got many helpful, comforting ones that I re read to help me through this difficult time.

To gt66, Good for you, for protesting about condescending comments from smug Gransnetters. Until you’ve stood in someone else’s shoes you should desist Whitewavemark2 from making such unhelpful remarks.

We had this from my family "Jet Set life style" or `"Champagne Life style" were phrases used about us.

Yes both were sort of true.

DH had a contract with an Air Frighting outfit who used a base in the Champagne Ardennes region of France so when he was at Home Base that's where he was - go figure.

Also rather than make his base in a hotel DH chose to rent a flat. So not only did he fly jets but we had a "Place in France" yes we did stay in the French flat when we could.

Just to confuse my siblings even more I had a work contract that took me to the UAE every month or so. Sometimes for 5 or 6 days sometimes for 2 or 3 weeks.

I flew there on a Jet :-) sometimes from the UK sometimes from Paris CDG, real Jet Set, have laptop with travel.

Yes the time when either of us weren't at work could be lovely but it's no fun in the sun if you are in a hotel room on your own.

Some how they missed the fact that we were working and we were contractors so first out when anything changed.

Yes it's lovely to sit and have a coffee and wander down to the Boulangerie or visit the weekly market, take a day trip to Paris or go shopping in Mall of the Emirates but ...

We could only do those things when we weren't at work and they were only really lovely if we were together or with work colleagues who wanted to join in other wise it's not that much fun.

Yes we had a Champagne, Jet Set life style Ha Ha Ha

Experiences I didn't think I'd ever have when I started my working life. Experiences I very much appreciated but we don't have them now.

Now happily retired without the Champagne Jet Set life style :-) but my family still think that's how we live, not my problem.

My mother in law was so jealous when we moved to Spain that she turned her back on her son and grandkids . She shut the door on my children when they knocked to say goodbye . It took my husband's uncle to get cancer and die to make her see sense . She missed out on 10 years off her grandkids growing up . Was it all worth it .

Totally agree