Inverted snobbery or just jealousy?

It is different here. Many of us have beach houses as well as our main house. That’s just how it is and it doesn’t mean you are rich. Because it is so common there is no boasting involved and most people share their beach places with family and friends - in fact our family are at ours a lot more often than we are and that makes me happy because the little kids love the beach and I never got that chance to go when I was a kid. I’d rather spend money on that than clothes and shoes. Inverted snobbery is a funny thing, isn’t it ?

Gosh, the very thought of managing another property as well as the one I have here leaves me cold. No jealousy here.

Yes I agree GagaJo maybe envious or lucky would be better words.

KALISSY, I think when people say it in that way, it is a compliment to your choice. It doesn't mean actual jealousy. It is saying, 'Oh, how lovely.'

We are moving up to the Highlands and every time we tell someone they say “ooo I’m jealous” why should they be? I would never in a million years say this to people,I would smile and wish them well. There is no need for jealousy it’s just childish and comes from a bad place .

Whitewavemark2

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

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I agree with your comment , and would ask the op does her 'friend know she has posted her business on here.

can't believe the 6 pages and growing.

I assume it is not the person who owns the house abroad and who very kindly offers it to family and friends to stay in who made the comment about "working very hard". I assume it is the OP who said that and I agree that it is rather an annoying comment because, as has been said, lots of people work very hard in difficult jobs but they never get much for their labour.

As for people sometimes feeling jealous, I admit to occasionally feeling a bit jealous of some things, and I would be very surprised if I am alone in that. I agree it is an unpleasant and irrational response that should be resisted but we are not all lovely, rational people all of the time.

I agree with Iam64 that Whitewave did not deserve such criticism for her brief remark.

I am not stirring the pot; I just think that during the isolation of lock down some of us are suffering with tender sensibilities that mean we just can’t cope with even mild criticism.

What a shame. Many years ago MIL/FIL won a holiday. We were happy for them but when she told her eldest son (DH's brother and wife) about it they were met with hostile stares, not even a 'well done' or 'congratulations' could they mutter. How mean-spirited is that? To begrudge his own mother. I'm afraid some people are just like that.

Some people do not know how to be happy for others. That is all there is to it. There are people who will not even tell you your children are pretty / handsome, or that a certain colour suits you, or that they are glad you got a promotion / scholarship. Who cares? Let's not allow people to live rent-free in our heads.

We're lucky enough to have a second home in this country as we decided years ago that we'd rather spend our money on this than on expensive foreign holidays for our family of six. At the time the cost was about the same.
We're very careful not to mention this in front of some people we know as it would set off a tirade about the inequity of life, even though we know many of them go on several expensive overseas trips every year.
Equally we wouldn't want to "rub peoples'noses in it" so, although we lend it to friends we try not to be flash about it.

? I dashed the first post off meaning something entirely different to what subsequent posters decided I meant. I then gave a more detailed explanation, which everyone appears to have ignored.

Difficult to come to no other conclusion than people just like to put the boot in.

Oh well whatever floats your boat.

Thank you for your comment though iam64

Six pages, with so any people castigating Whitewave for a brief response on page 1. The irony is that some Whitewave critics use the if you haven’t anything good to say, don’t say anything.
I saw nothing wrong in Whitewave’s comment by the way.

Exactly nanna8. All of that 'keeping up appearances' and 'keeping up with the Jones' (other GN members)'. Life is too short.

I know quite a few people who are very, very rich by anyone’s standards but really as you get older it seems most people look for more than this and whether or not you are a pleasant, well balanced person. The rich ones are not often the nicest ones, in fact the reverse tends to be true. Sad.

I am not a Christian. But often, the teachings of the bible are just common sense.

'It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'

If we are lucky enough to have acquired property, belongings or gained financially, we should be grateful and humble. We are no better than those who have been less lucky who may have worked just as hard.

that's an interesting view.

Well it is the issue of work hard and you will get it all that upsets people. Many graft at very demanding jobs and in work settings which can be stressful and dangerous. They honestly do their best to help themselves but remain in a poor material and financial position in comparison to some. I have a view that each one of us is sent to earth to live a certain life experience. There can be themes and patterns to that life. We all have evolvement lessons to try to take on board during our lifetime. A 'successful' life will try and identify and learn their lifetime lessons. They must also recognise the body means nothing. It is just the vessel that carries us through life. We are energy. Spiritual energy. It does not matter if you are the wealthiest person on earth, who has worked hard and travelled all over the world. If you cannot go deeper than the superficial level then the ultimate lessons of the lifetime have not been met.

Totally agree with gt66 - comments by Whitewave2 totally uncalled for. If you can't say anything nice don't bother saying anything at all.

Newatthis.. Its sad people have to make others feel bad for what they've achieved. It's plain and simple Jealousy. They can't match it, so they'd rather look down their noses at them. Jealousy is an ugly thing, and leaves a nasty taste in everyone's mouth, I'd be happy for them, it's lovely they want to share the property with others, I think it's a very generous gesture. It's shallow to become snobby & jealous about someone else's good fortune. Why can't they just be happy for them instead of trying to upset them, it's just plain nasty. Yes I have had this, only over something much smaller, so you can't win. But so what, enjoy it while you can is what I say.

some people are snobs, and seem to think owning more makes them superior.
some people make rude resentful comments about others' lifestyle.
both groups are to be avoided.

and i don't see anything wrong with whitewave's comment.
she is not nasty. leave her alone. you can disagree without being insulting, can't you.

Sally's mum i hear you.

This is very common with family and friends. I married into a family where one brother in law constantly judged us. He was in a better position than us but how he went about it we no longer have contact with him. Yes he has his wealth and worked hard but he ran rough shod over his mother his whole married life and we can't forgive him for that. I have a friend that puts pointed comments on social media saying you are splashing the cash round aye. I find it distasteful as we saved all our lives to have a good retirement and she didn't. It the nature of people to be jealous and criticise others. Personally I'm whittling my group of friends down to genuine only.

My husband añd Ì wòrkd hard and hàve a lovely bungalow by the sea and although not rich we have a nice standard of living. My sister in law visited and said how lucky we are and that some people have all the luck!
Both her and husband have also worked hard but their money went in a pub and in the bookmakers?
I did'nt respond to her remark s but inwardly I was seething!

I am beginning to suspect that there is a small tiresome group of people who are turning into bullies. If you don't feel able to post because you think GN is packed full of unreasonable, unfeeling and brusque people, please feel free to bugger off