Do you wonder how much time you have left?

LauraNorder

My mother had dementia, my younger sister has it and is about to go in to a home.
I hope for a long and healthy life but don’t fear death.
I do fear life with dementia though.

I fear the same but hope for the same as you.

I used to worry about dying quite a lot before I met the 'to be' MrM when we were in our mid 60s. We're now 71 and 72 and hope we have plenty of years left together.

I do sometimes but having come through two serious illnesses both of which could have proved fatal, there doesn't seem a lot of point in worrying about it. The worst time for me was when my contemporaries started dying: my cousins and people I had worked with.

This year has been a little difficult because my DFiL died when he was 69. Exactly the age my DH is now. It does make you think. But hopefully not too much. There's lots to enjoy about life.

Yes, but not in an upsetting way. My DD died of a stroke at 75 and he was always very concerned about his health and tried to avoid that outcome. His DD died at 75 from a stroke too. He spent all those years worrying and it still happened. We reckon he was the healthiest man of his age at the funeral?
My DM is 92 and as healthy as can be so I intend to take after her.
I do work with quite a few ladies who have are in their late 80s and my oldest client is 95. After that age quality of life seems to deteriorate and life becomes harder. In my experience anyway.

So that’s when I will be ready. Not sure what I can do about it though. Go and sit in the snow with a bottle of gin?

Sometimes it would be nice to know, so we know when not to worry! I'm waiting for an appointment with the breast clinic over what is likely a benign condition. I was about to sign up to a class I've been wanting to do that is now being offered, but turned back at the pay button. Hopefully they will still have places if all is well in a few weeks and I don't feel like everything is up in the air.

I dare say it’s a lot more likely once your friends start popping off. During the past 5 years or so we’ve lost 6 old friends - all male - one was only 69, last Christmas Eve, and had apparently been fine - that was the worst shock.
Dh and I are both early 70s and generally pretty healthy, touch wood - but you can’t help thinking about it sometimes.

One thing we did at the beginning of lockdown one, was update our wills, in case Covid wiped us both out.

It's not so much death that bothers me, although permanent separation from family would hurt them, but the process of going. I fear dementia dreadfully. My mother had it, and the loss of dignity with awareness through lucid moments, and the hallucinations and frustration of short term memory loss would be intolerable. Nor could I take being incarcerated in a care home with well meaning but patronising staff! I have lost three friends over the past year, none Covid, but all three were instant deaths in their sleep, no prior conditions. That's the way to go! ?

I work hard in a care home and look after my residents to the best of my ability, it is hard work but I do enjoy it and take pride in looking after the residents and I take exception to being called patronising!!....?

It’s nearly 17 years since my mum died, aged 92. I suppose that is my benchmark, when I imagine I might die.

24 years to go.

Trouble is, these last 17 years have gone so quickly! Why is that?

I was 17 when I met my future husband, those first 17 years seemed much longer than these last ones.

I totally agree about time going so fast calendar girl, the last 20 years have just flown by and in another 20 years if I make it I will be 88 and that time will probably go even quicker, it’s very scary but nothing to be done about it obviously....

I have no family history to draw on so I've convinced myself I will live healthily until I'm 100.
It's not something I worry about normally but during lockdown I have felt I'm wasting precious time.

I do but DH won’t discuss it at all. I have made a book with details of what to do if I go first as I take care of all the finances and he would need guidance to cope on his own. I have tried to get him to write things down for me as he takes care of everything to do with technology and other practical matters such as the water and electricity supplies and the gas boiler, he says he will one day but I am still waiting for him to do it. We are both 77 and also fear dementia because of the burden it would place on the other partner. Apart from the odd memory lapse we seem to be OK.

I do worry sometimes about death but mainly because I want to be around until my grandson grows up. At the baby shower for him we were asked to write something for him when he was 18 and that made me realise I would be 85 when he reached 18 so although my mother lived 85 and my father, who had parkinsons for 35 years, lived to 91 I was still worried.

My grandson's other grandmother was 57 at the baby shower but none of us knew that she already had the brain tumour that killed her which was actually found three weeks before he was born and that she would die within three months.

I feel that I need to keep myself as fit and healthy to make sure that my grandson has one grandmother for as long as possible.

I don’t actually think about when my number will be up because I am determined to live reasonably healthily to at least 90 ?

I too worry about how much longer I have , in my 70s and think I waste too much time with these thoughts! Have a twin sister , not identical but we are very close . She has always been
' with ' me even when we lived some distance from each other. I don't know how I would cope us she died before me. Enough of that Shelflife , it's a beautiful day ! Will be outside enjoying it. Keep well everyone.

Live for the day everyone!

My mother went on to 97, but since she had dementia for about her last 15 years, that’s not something I want to emulate.

Whatever age I might be lucky enough to reach, I just pray that I will still be self sufficient - the thought of being dependent on anyone else fills me with dread. I’d rather go a bit sooner than a bit later, if that meant I needed help with personal care and/or was a worry or a burden to my lovely dds - who I know would be happy to help me.
But having been through it myself with elderly relatives, that is one thing I emphatically don’t want to land them with.

I do worry about it , in my 70s . My life is lucky I know that so I am taking MOnica's advise and trying not to think about it till I reach 90!!!
I have a twin sister and always been 'together' since conception! Not identical but very close , we live reasonably near to each other now. Can't imagine life without her . On a happier note I am going to enjoy this beautiful spring weather ! Keep safe everyone.