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Do you wonder how much time you have left?

(118 Posts)
Foxglove77 Fri 26-Mar-21 18:50:10

Without being morbid and in my late 50s I have been wondering how much time I may have left. 20 more Christmases? I know nothing is a given and I am grateful for the life I've had so far, but am just interested to know if this has crossed your mind and what your thoughts are?

Foxglove77 Sat 27-Mar-21 18:40:38

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. Its comforting to know that this subject crosses other people's minds too. I admire all those who have optimistic replies and positive thoughts. Lucca I'm sorry you found this a horrible post, it was not meant to upset anyone. I'd rather think of the subject as reflective.

Witzend Sat 27-Mar-21 18:50:19

My mother came from a large and long-lived family - she often used to say, ‘Good stock!’ and went on herself to 97, but then she’d had Alzheimer’s since her early 80s, so the long-lived-ness was far from an unmixed blessing.

She broke a hip at 90 or 91 - often the beginning of the end at that sort of age - and the anaesthetist at the op to fix it apparently said, ‘Boy, this is one tough old bird!’ because her vital signs were so robust.

I’m sure her former self would have preferred to be less tough rather than suffer the indignities of later stage dementia, though. Not that she cared at the time, but we cared for her.

I certainly know which I’d prefer.

silverlining48 Sat 27-Mar-21 20:08:24

Since turning 70 thoughts of mortality came uninvited and now nearly 73 am wondering how long health will hold up to live an active life, so much to do, places to go.
Covid has put everything on hold and we dont have as much time as we always thought we had.
Its best not to dwell,
but if I do I feel sad that we probably won't see gc marry, or even graduate, they are still so very young.
Now I really do need to cheer up. wine[cake]flowersgrin

silverlining48 Sat 27-Mar-21 20:08:51

Where is my cake?????

Urmstongran Sat 27-Mar-21 20:20:49

Oops! Sorry silverlining I didn’t realise that delicious slice of red velvet was yours! Is there any more?
?

nadateturbe Sat 27-Mar-21 20:24:02

I don't think it's a horrible post, Foxglove. Thank you for starting the thread. It's something we all think about, some more than others. But for some reason it's almost a taboo subject in our society, which is strange, because it's very much a part of life. There are things we would like to say to our families before it happens and sometimes people would just like to be able to talk about their thoughts. But we are afraid of upsetting others, or we are told not to be morbid.
It's good that people have been able to share, and find out how others feel..

Jaxjacky Sat 27-Mar-21 20:25:10

I’m with you Urmstongran as for any surmising, or vast overthinking on time left I’m la, la, la fingers in ears.

silverlining48 Sat 27-Mar-21 20:28:17

grin no problem Urms, am supposed to be on a diet

silverlining48 Sat 27-Mar-21 20:30:17

Grandmajet flowers

Foxglove77 Sat 27-Mar-21 20:34:05

Nadateturbe thank you smile

TrendyNannie6 Sat 27-Mar-21 20:39:17

Yes I’ve thought about it, but only since been in lockdown not to the degree of being concerned as I don’t suffer from anxiety more to the point of maybe I should get off my bum and clear out some of these books I’ve got now I’ve got a lot of time on my hands, and go through all these cupboards of mine,

grandmajet Sat 27-Mar-21 22:42:59

Thank you silverlining, for the ?. I’ve put them in water and they look lovely.

silverlining48 Sun 28-Mar-21 10:36:40

My pleasure Grandma jet. Have a nice day and hope the coming sunshine brings us all some much needed cheer.

Blossoming Sun 28-Mar-21 11:20:25

Foxglove I don’t think it’s a horrible thread but it is a subject some people shy away from. It frightens them to think about it.

I was forced to confront my own mortality at a relatively young age, so it’s just something I live with. I’m not constantly thinking about it but I have made sure that Mr. B won’t have lots of hassle to sort out when it happens. Having organised all that I can forget all about it and get on with life.

I remember having a pre-op chat with my surgeon. He said he was expecting the surgery to be a complete success but he was worried about my recovery. I said he could look after the surgery and I would handle the recovery. And here I am many years later grin

DiscoDancer1975 Sun 28-Mar-21 11:23:51

Not really, most of the time, but after filling out the census last week, my husband said, ‘ “ I wonder if we’ll be doing that again!” ‘. We’re 61 and 62.

Greeneyedgirl Sun 28-Mar-21 12:01:00

Another Humanist here Urmstongran. I don’t think it’s morbid to think about dying, it’s part of being human, but it’s something which has become a taboo and scary subject in our society. I think since Covid struck it occupies the mind more.

Would life be as sweet if we knew we would live for ever? Life is so precious, even during lockdown, knowing that it is time limited, makes it more so to me.

Jac53 Sun 28-Mar-21 12:37:54

I definitely think about it when I'm around my two lovely grandchildren and I worry about my husband who, at 80, has chronic illnesses. I am 67 but my mother died at 57 and when I approached that milestone I was terrified the same fate would befall me, so much so that I pestered Drs until I got tests to prove I didn't have the same condition. My father lived til 95 but had dementia in the last few years and that scares me more than dying.

timetogo2016 Sun 28-Mar-21 12:49:04

Yes pretty much every day,especially as my mother died at 61,the age i am now,my father died at 56,my sister at 57 who was 3 yrs older than me,my brother also at 57 who was 3 yrs younger than me so i think i`m not far off popping my clogs.
Fingers x`d i shall not follow in the same footsteps,but who knows .
I make the most of everyday,JUST IN-CASE.

Daisend1 Sun 28-Mar-21 13:02:45

I don't want to think about it. sad

M0nica Sun 28-Mar-21 20:40:04

Urmstongran I do have religious beliefs, but I do not I believe in the idea of meeting all one's loved ones in heaven.

I am entirely pragmatic about it, what happens after death, if anything, will happen. No idea what it will be, why have hopes or fears of it?

We all know that death will come sooner or later. I am currently commorating the 30th anniversary of the death of my sister in a road accident. She was in her mid-40s and on the edge of making a major career change.

Being practical, I am making sure that whatever years are left to me, I am healthy and well for as long as possible. I come from a long lived and healthy family, so I hope to go on for a long time yet, but, like my sister death could come when it is least expected.

Urmstongran Sun 28-Mar-21 21:07:16

MOnica that post about the death of your sister is heartbreaking. ?

I think as regards death itself, it’s nothing to fear. The same as we didn’t ‘know’ our nothingness before we were born. Same same.

It’s the manner of dying that scares us. How we get to be dead. Some are fortunate and have a peaceful and ‘good’ death. Some are not so lucky. Pain control also isn’t an exact science and so thinking about that can cause anxiety.

Mostly however we all focus fleetingly, on what we will miss when it’s the end of our time here.

It doesn’t do to ruminate for too long.

I think it was Seneca, the stoic, who said we should all contemplate death for a minute or two every day to lessen the fear of it - to contemplate it briefly and then put it aside?

LauraNorder Sun 28-Mar-21 21:09:41

My mother had dementia, my younger sister has it and is about to go in to a home.
I hope for a long and healthy life but don’t fear death.
I do fear life with dementia though.

Urmstongran Sun 28-Mar-21 21:10:58

A poignant post Greeneyedgirl. Thank you for illustrating our shared belief so much better than I. x

grandmajet Sun 28-Mar-21 22:39:08

I remember death once being described as like leaving the cinema before the end of the film. That’s what bugs me a bit - I won’t know what happens next. Does that sound a bit silly?
Also the thought that my loved ones will be upset and I won’t be here to comfort them. ?

nadateturbe Sun 28-Mar-21 22:53:17

I think it was Seneca, the stoic, who said we should all contemplate death for a minute or two every day to lessen the fear of it - to contemplate it briefly and then put it aside?

Good idea!