Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Are you looking forward to spending one-on-one time with your grandchildren soon?

(46 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 31-Mar-21 15:10:48

Are there plans for you to take the grandchildren off on break or day out (when it's allowed/safe to do so)?

For those of you who haven't seen your grandchildren for a long time, how do you feel about that? Beyond excited, apprehensive, worried?

Do you think your bond will have been affected by not having seen them for so long? For those with younger, more physically demanding grandchildren are you worried about how you will manage?

The reason we're asking is that we've been asked to comment on a piece by The Sunday Times (see here if you'd like to take part) and would love to properly reflect your views and thoughts on this.

M0nica Wed 31-Mar-21 15:23:55

When I was a child, at times I did not see my grandparents for several years at a time, as my father was in the forces and I spent part of my childhood overseas.

That gap never made any difference to my relationship with my grandparents, especially one of my grandmothers to whom I was very close. I therefore see no reason to see why this last year will affect the mutual relationship between me and my grandchildren.

Compared with my childhood, there has been no real absence. We have talked online and on the phone, swapped photos and emails.

Tentatively the whole family are coming to to stay with us for the summer half term. I am missing DS and DDil just as much as I am missing DGC.

LyndaW Wed 31-Mar-21 15:52:57

That's an interesting point Monica. You're right, I am missing my sons and dils just as much as my grandchildren. But I also think that one of my sons who had not been able to bubble with the other inlaws and had no support at all in that way, is desperate for a break and some time with his wife. All going well I have offered to have the grandkids for a week or so in the summer holidays. We won't go anywhere I don't think, but they can at least come and spend time with us and let my son and my dil have a bit of respite. Home schooling sounded tough!

Roses Wed 31-Mar-21 16:27:11

Three of mine are coming for a weekend as soon as we are allowed, they are very exited but not as exited as their mum and dad !!

My relationship with my Grandchildren is the same as ever
Lots of love flowing both ways

NotSpaghetti Wed 31-Mar-21 16:35:55

I miss my own adult children most.
I do miss the grandchildren who I used to see at least fortnightly (but have seen twice in a year) but my own children are the greatest loss in many ways.

AGAA4 Wed 31-Mar-21 16:44:56

.I am looking forward to seeing them very much. My ACs too.
I have missed so much time especially with my baby grandson who was only 9 months when lockdown started. He is running around and talking now.

Liz46 Wed 31-Mar-21 17:16:34

I have seen my grandchildren briefly twice in over a year but it is my birthday on Sunday and we are going to see them. We'll keep our distance and hope for good weather so that we can go for a walk or stay in the garden.

I don't think my relationship with my granddaughter will be affected as we have chatted on the phone but my 11 year old grandson may be different. He had started to not want Nan hugs and kisses (which I respected). Getting him away from his computer games is the main problem. My daughter has been known to turn the internet off.

Jaxjacky Wed 31-Mar-21 17:52:51

We’ve seen ours, but only very sporadically, for a doorstep drop, or from the car. We’re booked in to have them in the summer for a couple of nights when DD goes to a festival, I’m sure our diary will get full of sleepovers before then. My daughter is the one who really needs a break, single parent, works in a school so it’s been tough, we miss my son too. The sooner we can have them all round for a bbq the better, the sooner we can hug them all even better

Amberone Wed 31-Mar-21 18:02:23

Like Monica I am from a Forces family - we spent many years apart from the rest of the family but also lived with our maternal grandparents in between postings, sometimes for months, so they were always a part of our lives. Being apart from family meant letters and parcels in the post, exciting!

Lock down in a way has brought our family much closer together - they are spread all over the UK and in New Zealand so don't see much of each other. We have spent a lot of time supporting each other with Zoom, emails, texts, phone calls and mail and I know more about my children's lives than I ever did before. We haven't seen any of them for well over a year and look forward to it immensely, but mainly I am happy they are all safe and sound.

Deedaa Wed 31-Mar-21 18:11:14

I live with one grandchild but I look forward to meeting up with the other two soon. I looked after one of them 5 days a week until he started school which was a far cry from my own childhood when grandparents were a duty visit at the weekend and I was busy being seen and not heard.

Franbern Wed 31-Mar-21 18:35:41

NotSpaghetti Just had to comment to say how much I agree with you. Yes, it will be good to see my g.children, but it my adult children who I really miss. Will be so excited when I can see them all.

H1954 Wed 31-Mar-21 18:41:00

Two of mine are aching to come and stay. Apparently they have already written a timetable of all the things we will be doing.........😅

maddyone Wed 31-Mar-21 19:27:11

We bubbled with one family and so from last summer when lockdown eased and bubbles were allowed, we’ve seen a lot of them. We’ve also seen our other grandchild fairly regularly because we live in an area which was Tier 2 last year, and as the first family are now living with us, legally as they have sold their house and are waiting to move, we have now bubbled with the other family. We have had socially distanced visits with our other son and his wife who have no children.

J52 Wed 31-Mar-21 19:46:47

My youngest GD is just 3. I really resent the loss of the last year where I have missed all the developmental fun that occurs between ages 1 and 3. I remember all the bonding activities with the other ones.
I am hoping to spend more time with all of them, eventually.

LucyLocket55 Wed 31-Mar-21 21:53:38

I met up today with my two daughters and their daughters at an outside play area. My elder granddaughter (18 months) who I hadn’t seen in person since lockdown began at the beginning of December cried and wouldn’t come near me for a good 45 mins. We have talked regularly and facetimed but when she saw me in the flesh she found it difficult to relate to the 4 inch person she sees on the screen. She was eventually ok . I understand her confusion and expected something like this to happen but hopefully time and familiarity will sort this out. The younger granddaughter (aged 4 months) smiled at everyone.

NotSpaghetti Wed 31-Mar-21 22:50:48

Franbern thank you for commenting and making me feel less odd!

I don't understand grandparents wanting to be with their grandchildren more than they want to see their own adult children.

I'm longing to give them all a hug but my own children most of all.

Daisymae Thu 01-Apr-21 07:19:58

The only time I would see grandchildren without their parents was for childcare while parents were working. Now that they are older will see them as a family. Hope to have a few days away together later in the year, but with AC.

honeyrose Thu 01-Apr-21 09:25:43

I must be a bit different as I actually missed seeing my GC more than my DD! It gives me no pleasure to say that. We live fairly close by, but I can’t say I have a close relationship with my DD, which makes me a bit sad. We were close until she reached her teens, but then it seemed to change. Having said that, if she is upset, she does confide in me, which I really appreciate, but when things are going ok, I feel there is not a closeness there. My DD is an only child.

hulahoop Thu 01-Apr-21 10:16:09

I have missed my son,dil,and his 3,, equally .I have seen daughter and family .

Nannapat1 Thu 01-Apr-21 10:41:37

We have just one DGD and have seen her throughout, after the first lockdown in 2020, as we have been providing childcare.

Frogsinmygarden Thu 01-Apr-21 10:44:40

To all of you who will be seeing their grandchildren again soon, I wish you many hugs and cuddles. Unfortunately for some grandparents this will not (and probably hasn’t for some time and for lots of reasons) be the reality for many. So we will continue to heal our hearts with memories and bask in the reflected joy of those who are more privileged than ourselves. Happy Easter everyone.

Graygirl Thu 01-Apr-21 11:01:55

You bet, have named the day we can hug
Cuddle a nan day.
They only live 500m away , so have seen them if the day was Saturday or Sunday 2 minutes past midnight, any other day detour on way to school, they are 14 and 18. So hug in middle of street in my PJs don't care

Davida1968 Thu 01-Apr-21 11:07:17

I wish! They are 5000 miles way and I haven't seem them since 2018. I hold out hope for Christmas....maybe....

aonk Thu 01-Apr-21 11:08:18

I took 2 of my DGDs out yesterday to a park for a picnic etc. It was lovely but the 7 year old has really changed in the last year and I bitterly regret not looking after her once a week as I had done since she was 9 months old. We’ll never get this time back and it’s beyond precious. I really don’t think I could keep to the rules if there’s another lockdown.

henetha Thu 01-Apr-21 11:11:32

It's a bit different for me as they are young adults and will be going back to their jobs soon now. But I am very much looking forward to arranging meetings with them, take them out to lunch etc.
I do wish one of them would have a baby. I long to be a great grandmother. It's lovely to have a baby in the family.