Code of cooking when having guests.

Is it just me or has CV put anyone else off buffets for life - that and blowing out candles on birthday cakes?

If ever I've done buffet type meal, I have to label the vegetarian food 'for vegetarians' because meat eaters scoff it down and then there's none left for the vegetarians I've catered for

I think the difference with all of this is.... (most) meat eaters eat meat and vegetables. Vegetarians don't eat meat so they have less to choose from.
So when I go to a vegetarians house for a meal, please serve me something yummy with vegetables, herbs, spices, whatever. I'll eat anything like that.
Have to say though, I'm not keen on meat substitutes of any sort or anything that is pretending to be what it's not!

I enjoy cooking for my friends some of whom are vegetarian. Unless it was a buffet I would never serve a separate dish for veggies. If vegetarians are present I cook a meat free meal for everyone. As others have said there are so many wonderful dishes, curries, pastas, pies, etc. I don't like to single anyone out so if we all sit together we all eat together.

Callistemon

I knew you'd find something to post in answer to mine
I just knew it

???

What on earth is your post about? I responded to a post of yours? I rather thought that was what happened on a forum ????☹️

I tell people they are not to make any extra fuss for me because I am vegetarian. One friend is famous for providing about eight different vegetable choices with each meal - the rest have whatever meat or poultry she is cooking to accompany it. Other friends have kindly cooked a veggie ready meal item, most of which need to be in the oven for half an hour. When I'm entertaining we always have meat/poultry and a veggie option, and it's surprising how many people want to try it, or opt for the veggie dish and are agreeably surprised how tasty they are.

As a vegetarian I do not expect people to pander to me. It is my choice not theirs. However, most people seem happy to provide something suitable such as an individual veggie quiche or a veggie burger, but if not I am always happy just to eat the vegetables. It won't kill me for one meal! I enjoy the company more than the food. If I am the cook I prefer to offer vegetarian food - it won't kill them for one meal either! Having said that I do cook meat for my family occasionally.

I agree with Doodledog re ways of cooking for a vegetarian and non vegetarian making virtually the same dish with adjustments .
I started a chilli bean casserole making sure all ingredients began as vegetables tomatoes etc were included as a base to start with making double quantity .Then halved the mixture added the meat and continued to cook the meaty one in a second separate dish the vegetarian one in another . Everyone had nearly the same we served a salad and rice.Think they were happy we enjoyed their company and chat without the stress of making two different dishes.
A curry is a good option that way too vegetables in one prawns in the second then say lamb in the third .Having a Buffet is a good idea as some previous posters have suggested.
We always check with everyone s likes dislikes allergies etc gives us ideas too.
There’s so many tasty choices out there !

suziewoozie I did not “expect” my veggie friend to serve me meat, my point was everyone here is advocating cooking meals to suit everyones different taste but the very people who require this are usually not willing to reciprocate. I really dont like the smell of cooking fish it makes me slightly nauseous but I will do it when my cousin comes as her daughter is pescatarian. When we go to her house we get fish and I eat it, I dont like it much but I eat it.
My point is i guess, just because I have certain likes and dislikes I do not expect to be catered to.

A few years ago I stayed with some friends who were Vegan. They made it their business to ensure that I still had non-vegan foods. I did protest and stated that it was rather like going to another country and asking for fish and chips. However, they said that a lot of vegan foods take a good to get used to. Also, I cannot eat anything very spicey. They told me that none of their adult children were vegans, so they were quite used to having different meals being prepared at the same time.

When they came to me, I went to a lot of trouble to ensure that I provided them with good vegan meals, whilst - at the same time cooking as normal for myself and other guests.

I have been a vegetarian for decades and would now find it repellant to cook meat - I do not try to pursuade my omnivore friends to give up meat, just decline to cook it. Try to imagine cooking and eating anything you find repellant - maybe a dog or a rat or horsemeat - and you will get a little idea of what it feels like to be a vegetarian. I cook many vegetarian dishes for friends and they seem to enjoy them! When I go to someone's house for a meal I will say I am a vegetarian and happy to eat the vegetables and bring something to add for myself , but most people say they are fine to give me something vegetarian.

I knew you'd find something to post in answer to mine
I just knew it

???

Callistemon

^Expecting someone who doesn't eat meat to prepare it for you is also completely unreasonable^

I'd be quite happy if my friend offered me just vegetarian food and do eat some of what she prepares but she cooks meat for her husband and son so offers both meat, fish and vegetarian dishes, so there is a choice.

But that’s one example - my DN’s partner isn’t vegetarian but she never cooks meat for him and he doesn’t expect her to. If a vegetarian is happy to cook meat, fine, but that doesn’t mean it’s a choice for everyone does it? It really isn’t always a choice and we shouldn’t expect it to be.

Expecting someone who doesn't eat meat to prepare it for you is also completely unreasonable

I'd be quite happy if my friend offered me just vegetarian food and do eat some of what she prepares but she cooks meat for her husband and son so offers both meat, fish and vegetarian dishes, so there is a choice.

BlueBelle

Why is there no room these days for differences, if you don’t want to cook a vegi meal now and then why invite a vegetarian friend round for a meal and then complain
Vegetarian food is easier to cook than meat dishes try it sometime

Why on earth would someone expect a vegetarian to cook meat it’s like expecting a nun to have sex

This made me laugh out loud literally . Thank you ???

Why is there no room these days for differences, if you don’t want to cook a vegi meal now and then why invite a vegetarian friend round for a meal and then complain
Vegetarian food is easier to cook than meat dishes try it sometime

Why on earth would someone expect a vegetarian to cook meat it’s like expecting a nun to have sex

A lot of Asian people like to spice up British food. I've seen photos of a friend's Christmas dinner (turkey etc) with large bottles of spicy sauce next to the salt. It feels odd to me, but it's no different from adding gravy, really.

What I don't understand is the attitude of some on this thread when it comes to catering for others. Isn't the whole point that you want them to enjoy themselves and share a meal with you? Offering them the vegetables (boiled, presumably, or there would be meat juices involved) with no meat or gravy (unless it is instant) is about as far from being hospitable as it gets. It really sends a message that they are not worth any effort. Rustling up a 'meal' out of tins is only marginally better.

Expecting someone who doesn't eat meat to prepare it for you is also completely unreasonable, particularly if you aren't prepared to go the extra couple of inches to make something suitable for a vegetarian to eat. It's not an evenly balanced thing at all. A meat eater doesn't have to have meat at every meal. A vegetarian never eats meat, and most would be repulsed at the thought of handling and cooking it.

Are people so set in their ways that the thought of cooking or eating something different from usual is such a big deal? I'm genuinely astonished that this is seen as a problem at all.

TwinLolly I understand exactly what you say. My ex-husband was a diabetic and when we were going to friends' houses for a meal he would often be asked what he could and couldn't eat. He always said 'please don't do anything special for me, I will eat what I can and leave what I can't'. This should be the same attitude for people who CHOOSE to be vegetarian/vegan. They should be mindful that what they eat or don't eat is a matter of personal choice.
As you say, they don't usually put themselves out for those who are meat-eaters.

Agree with Bluebell. How terribly rude to say such a thing! Plain food to someone who always eats spicy dishes tastes as yuck as my grandchildre's salt free mush. I know several people who carry chilli sauce bottles with them everywhere in order to render traditional British cuisine palatable. I usually add black pepper to other people's cooking. What would you say to me I wonder? Is it so hard to stick a potato in the oven or microwave and add some cheese, vegan or otherwise plus a salad? Would you be happy to prepare dolphin sushi for someone who loved it? I hope not

Kartush

We have a friend who is vegetarian by choice - as in she has no food allergies - when she would come to ours for a meal we would make sure there was always something available that she would enjoy eating, lots of salads, vegetarian quiche that sort of thing. When we went to her house she only cooked vegetarian dishes, no meat was provided for the meat eaters - and yes I realise that no one needs to eat meat to enjoy a meal - the point is we made sure her tastes were catered to she never did the same for us.
Some of you have said just make vegetable options of the same meal, well thats ok unless your guest is vegan then you have to watch the sauces, the dairy content etc.
I think if you make the choice to have specific dietary needs then you should not expect people to have to cater to them, its fine if they choose to but dont expect it as a matter of course

But I accept that buying or handling meat can fir many vegetarians be totally unacceptable. I really find it very odd that you would expect a vegetarian friend to buy and cook meat for you . As for choices in dietary needs, I would expect my friends to cater for those as I would for them. The clue is in the word ‘friend’.

Jillybird I do not understand the idea of someone having t find a vegetarian recipe. Apart from the absolutely obvious like bake potatoes with cheese, ratattouille from a tin if there are any vegans, cauliflower cheese, quiche etc, most people who have a balanced and varied diet are bound to have some vegetarian dishes in their repertoire.

These days dining with friends is not three courses plus cheese served at a table with the best china and glass. It is a casual meal in the garden or around the kitchen table, anything goes.

We have a friend who is vegetarian by choice - as in she has no food allergies - when she would come to ours for a meal we would make sure there was always something available that she would enjoy eating, lots of salads, vegetarian quiche that sort of thing. When we went to her house she only cooked vegetarian dishes, no meat was provided for the meat eaters - and yes I realise that no one needs to eat meat to enjoy a meal - the point is we made sure her tastes were catered to she never did the same for us.
Some of you have said just make vegetable options of the same meal, well thats ok unless your guest is vegan then you have to watch the sauces, the dairy content etc.
I think if you make the choice to have specific dietary needs then you should not expect people to have to cater to them, its fine if they choose to but dont expect it as a matter of course

I was at a funeral where one of the guests was a vegan. The caterers had put together some lovely looking nibbles for her, much more appetising that the standard bits of cheese and sausage on sticks.

If you want a difficult guest try my autistic grandson. Trying to make his limited diet look like the Christmas dinner the rest of us are having is real Krypton Factor stuff.

Serve a veggie ready-meal if you don't want to cook it yourself, or cook a cauliflower cheese for the meat eaters as well as the vegetarian guest. I fine the quickest veggie meal to prepare is a spinach (frozen) and chickpea (tinned) curry with rice.

Cook as usual and the vegetarians can just eat the veggies.

My daughter is vegetarian, my husband is pescatarian and my son and I are omnivorous*. It really isn't a problem when we all eat together. I usually do a veggie meal for everyone, as then nobody is being denied a course or component. There are countless vegetarian cookbooks on the market, and recipes available online if you are stuck for inspiration.

When we all lived together I would sometimes do a hybrid meal, eg a bean or vegetable casserole which I would split into two bowls and add chorizo or chicken to one of them.

Alternatively, you could do a tapas-style meal, so that there is something for everyone and nobody is left out.

*I think this is the bit to hang onto. Omnivores can eat non-meat based meals, whereas vegetarians and vegans can't eat meat. It's not about being difficult - it's just that there is really no room for compromise.