Not invited to wedding

Sad situation which obviously during Covid prohibits numbers but when is the wedding planned for ?
Some twenty plus years ago my husband popped round to see his mum unannounced one Sunday morning. He was back home within no time, looking furious. He'd found his mum, waiting at the window, to be collected by husbands sister and his BiL to be driven to the Lake District as husbands niece was apparently getting married on the Tuesday! We knew nothing whatsoever about it. All done behind our backs. Was so upset. Even if they had told but said they only wanted to keep it small etc etc. But no. Off they all went without us. Never did understand why and not one of them explained why we weren't invited.
The 'happy couple' accepted our wedding gift afterwards though.
Funny that!!!

We all have to make sacrifices at this time. Wedding numbers are so restricted they can't ask everyone. Grin and bear it. Its not life threatening.

I feel for you, I would be terribly hurt, because the least they could do if numbers are the reason is to have spoken to you before the invites were sent out. At least you could then understand and accept the situation

I felt a bit guilty about going to a very old friend's husband's funeral when another very old friend wasn't asked because numbers were limited and she lived further away. But it's the way we are having to live at the moment.

I do wish that in this type of situation people would explain why someone is not invited rather just not sending an invitation without a reason. This type of conversation can be difficult I know but it could lead to a better relationship in the future without any bad feeling remaining

It’s obviously because of limited numbers allowed, I wouldn’t take it personally at all! Yes the bride could have put a little note in to explain, I’m sure if allowed and it wasn’t Covid times you would be invited but they have to stick to the rules, I would be happy for my partner to go alone

Oprah Winfrey went to ‘you know who’s’ wedding without her partner!

Honestly in these times and with such limited numbers for weddings, I would be disappointed but make nothing more of it. There is so much more to life than other peoples weddings and at the moment I would love a day/evening on my own. I haven't had the house to myself in over a year due to covid so would see it as an opportunity and make the most of it.

Ask her. She’s guilty of ignorance in my opinion. She shoulda explained the reason, that would be the logical thing to do to avoid hurt feelings. In my experience a lot of young pepes don’t know how to behave x

If I were you I'd encourage my partner to go to the wedding and have a lovely time. Send a card and present with lots of good wishes and accept that in these difficult times this is not a snub, just a result of having to cut numbers down. When all said and down it's the bride and grooms day and everyone who cares about them should do their very best to make it a wonderful day.

Wouldn’t happen

Five years is quite a long time to be together, even if the people in question aren't married. Some marriages don't last that long - I know of a few!

If your partner is not your husband I can understand why, with restricted numbers, you have not been included. If, however, you are married then for me it would be wrong not to include you.

I love the suggestion that we take the happy couple out for dinner after all this covid malarkey is over.

Oh good, I hope that you have a lovely time!

I cannot understand these extreme reactions at all!

Neither can I!

Harris- you would not talk to her again! I cannot understand these extreme reactions at all!

Also, the groom might have several siblings and aunts who have sent him Christmas and birthday presents since he was a baby. And maybe great aunts as well and so on.

I was once asked to be an usher at a female cousin's wedding and the groom's family at the church were about four times as many as the bride's family. So much so that my opposite number usher from the groom's family was asking many of his family to sit "bride's side".

And bride and groom might have friends that they want to be there, including the best man, and maybe the best man has a wife who is being invited too. Maybe bridesmaids too, not necessarily all blood relatives and maybe some from the groom's family too, it has been known for a groom's young niece to be a bridesmaid to his future wife if that is about the only chance she is likely to get to be a bridesmaid.

As others have posted, a hand written note explaining why you haven't been invited would have been a good idea Doran and IMO your partner's GD is remiss for not sending one. Not just because it would have avoided your upset, but her GF's too.

This is probably more to do with covid restrictions on numbers and nothing else. With wonderful technology these days sure you will see and excellent video of the wedding and, hopefully, in the future will be able to share photos with them.

My brother and his wife broke up, back in the early 1970's. Totally my brother fault and he behaved dreadfully. His wife and their three children then had to go to live with her parents as they would, otherwise, have been homeless. Those g.parents forbade any contact with any member of my brothers family.

This was really horrible for my parents, who were totally blameless. A few years later, we saw a notice of the eldest girls wedding and I drove my parents to sit in the public gallery to see the marriage of their eldest g.child. She was in her teens when the split had occured and, prior to that, had a close relationship with my parents.

As soon as she returned from her honeymoon, she contacted my parents and the young couple came to visit. She said that whilst she lived in her (other) g.parents home, she had obeyed their wishes - but now she was setting up her own home she wished to re-start a proper relationship.

So great - and as time went on, my parents were able to be there and cuddle their first two great grandchildren.

One occasion is never more important than an on-going relationship

if you've only known him for five years anyway then you are not part of the close family. You know but for covid you would have been going I'm sure.

I'm sure there have been many people in the same situation, and of course it is very upsetting to feel left out, but I'm sure it's equally as upsetting for the the bride and groom to have to make the decisions about who they can/can't invite to their special day. If I were you, I'd still buy a nice dress, book a special lunch, or afternoon tea, with a couple of good friends, and have a bottle of bubbly (or two!) to celebrate.

I would think it was Covid and I wouldn’t worry about it. Just think, it is saving you the cost of a fancy outfit,i to be positive !

The worst fights come at weddings and funerals.

This is a celebration for the couple getting married.
Please do not cloud their day

I bet that if they had included a note why a partner was not invited, there would be still complaints about it

If it's not the invite list, it is how the tables were organized, the food was not up to somebody's standard....
It is impossible to make everybody happy

I can understand your hurt.

I'd be hurt too.

I’m sure they didn’t mean to cause offence though I can see why you felt hurt. Covid has not improved anyone’s social graces.