Early words from your future mil

My future mil's first ever words to me (over the phone) were "what do you want from him - he's got no money, you know!"

I was a lot younger than him - still am, strangely enough - they were a well-to-do family, so she clearly thought I must be a gold-digger.

She wasn't lying though.

My MiL tried very hard to like me but I don't think she really succeeded. Quite soon after I met her she asked my OH 'Are Amber's parents as posh as she is?' I'm not the least bit posh but I don't think she had ever met anyone not from the North-East so thought my accent was posh.

Things really went downhill when she stayed with us and OH ironed his shirts - she was totally shocked. OH mentioned that I worked more hours than him, not to mention working away from home a lot, but it fell on deaf ears. I don't think she ever really forgave me.

My first meeting with my m.i.l. ......she pulled my “choli” (Indian top that goes with a sari) down and said angrily “you are showing too much stomach” ?

I was just 16 and future DH, also 16. MIL. was always welcoming and friendly but Granny asked if I was a Catholic straight away. No I wasn’t but she was lovely to me anyway.
They moved back to Ireland just after we got married, so we only saw them every couple of years, so the bond was broken.
I was sad because our 3 children didn’t really have a relationship with their grandparents.

My MiL was nothing but kind. The first Xmas I went to stay she had bought me a large carrier bag full of little thoughtful gifts so I would have as many presents as everyone else. I’m sure she thought my hair was too long and my skirts too short and I was keeping her son in London when she thought he would go home after Uni.

I’d been married for 4 months when I met my MIL. I eventually grew on her.

Not when I first met her but immediately after we married and a I worked a lot of shifts she said 'I will never remember when you're working at weekends or not -so don't wait to be invited ,if you want a meal just ring up and invite yourselves' Again when we had our DCs if things got fraught with house renovations etc she would remind us to just call if we wanted a roast dinner.And we lived with them for a few months whilst having an extension built.I loved my MIL and still miss her.

Over the years I suppose we rubbed along. We were not vegetarian, but didn’t eat red meat, so she would sometimes bring my husband a steak, to build him up, they went straight in the bin.
Once while babysitting she cut out a very prolific honeysuckle, which she said was getting out of control! Not cut back, cut OUT.
But somehow we made it to her death without a major falling out.

About the first thing my mother in law said to me when I met her was “he’s promised me you’ll be the last one” (she had been very upset at breakups with her son’s previous girlfriends who she had got close to). I was the last one and I loved her dearly. She was one of my best friends.

I met my DH when he was 15 and I was 16, we married 7 years later. When I was 17, MIL gossiped about a young couple the same age as us who had got pregnant. There was a very pointed message that it shouldn't have happened and was all the girl's fault, leading the boy astray and ruining his life. My DH didn't receive the same lecture. Our "relationship" continued in the same vein, she gave responsibility for the negative things to me and all the positives to DH. I could do nothing right and he nothing wrong ?

Mine didn't like me and would go into another room rather than be in the same room as I was in. She apparently said to other members of the family that I was a nasty little whore and a tart and would take her son and his money away from her. BTW, this wasn't a gold-digging exercise on my part - my future husband was then working as a bus driver and I earned more than he did - though not in the profession she claimed I was in! We have recently had our Ruby wedding anniversary, so I suppose the latter part of her sentiment was true.

She was just so kind. I dont remember her first words to me but I do remember her when I sat overwhelmed with a crying new baby, 'its six o clock babies cry at six o clock it's just what they do'.
Meaningless but completely reassuring.

When I had my first child (her only granddaughter) I was struggling emotionally as didn’t have close relationship with my family who lived 400 miles away. My dear grandmother, who I was very close to had just died before the birth and I hadn’t been able to get to see her
She told me “you just have to get on with it”

Always got on great with both my ex MIL’s .... it was their sons I struggled with ?. When I met my daughters now husband, I did a Liam Neeson on him “ if you hurt my baby girl, I have a very special set of skills, and I will hunt you down and I will kill you” ? As he is 6’ 5” and I’m 5’ 3” ..... he thought it was hilarious ! We adore each other !

I can’t even remember. Dh had landed future ILs with both of us for a night when we were students, several years before we were married. I slept on a camp bed in the sitting room.

I’m sure MiL thought I was just a passing fancy - she seemed just a mite disapproving at the time, but was ultimately the best possible MiL and granny to dds. RIP ?

I don't think MIL forgave the fact I had been married before and she did not have the large family wedding she had always imagined for her eldest son. Both DH and I only wanted a quiet wedding with close friends and family. Six years later when we announced we were pregnant she told me DH does not like children. Little did she know I had been having infertility treatment for a few years.

My first MIL hated me. The first words she said to me were when we were engaged: she rang to speak to my parents and inadvertantly got me - I didn't tell her I wasn't my Mum - and very offensively asked what my father did, as she didn't want her son marrying "just anybody". She insisted when as newly marrieds we went to visit her, on making us sleep in separate rooms; I was only 18 and allowed her to get away with it! My second MIL (It took me 3 goes to find the perfect man, but I did in the end!) I never met because she was a very unChristian Catholic and refused to acknowledge that her son was no longer married to his first wife and so would not meet me as in her eyes I was the whore of Babylon. My beloved late husband's mother was a total gem. She accepted me despite his first wife telling her (and carrying through with it) that she and her daughters would cut off all contact if she continued to see me. I was very sad when she died not very long after we married, I believe she'd have been so happy to see the amazing difference in her son once he was away from "That Woman" lol.

This reminded me of when I first met my mother in law. Ex is American and we flew to the USA on our honeymoon. We got the the airport where they were meeting us. It was fairly crowded. There was a woman who I noticed. I said to ex....'see that woman over there...there is something I don't like about her...gave me a chill'. He looked across and said 'that's my mother'. When I got to know her I discovered that my first feeling on seeing her was correct.

We had a family meal out to celebrate our engagement, with both sets of parents, and my future MIL said 'it won't last'. We've just celebrated our 53rd wedding anniversary!!!

Oh I always wanted a daughter. She only had her one darling, spoilt son who I divorced from years later.

I was the first girl any of her sons brought home and I was from a very different background to her so she struggled a bit in how to treat me at first but she did her best. We’ve had quite a few disagreements over the years but she loves me to bits and I feel the same about her. She has truly been a second mum to me and I’m so grateful that she’s been a large part of my adult life.

I married the beloved only son. After six weeks of marriage she came to stay with us. When she reorganised my cupboards without asking, I knew that I was in for a rocky ride!
We were like oil and water, chalk and cheese.
Luckily my husband was more like my father in law and we have been married over forty years with two lovely sons and three grandchildren.

First time I met my future Mother in law she was wearing a hairnet, she had just come back from the town, never quite got over that.

If my MIL was living in India she would definitely have been sacred and lived in the same house. It was a continuous battle, at least I had a career to get me away, not a lot I could do about it I’d made my bed and had to lie in it.

My ex MIL was nice as pie to me to my face when we first met, but my ex OH told me that afterwards, she told him that because I had been married before (a marriage that lasted only a few months due to his physical abuse!) I was just "Using him".
When we had children, despite earning slightly more, we agreed ex OH would work and I would stay at home and look after the children. This meant he had to work on Saturdays. Whilst "at home" I became involved with a charitable fund raising group and we raised a substantial amount of money (over 3 years). The IL's asked us to accompany them on holiday one year, which we did but on 2nd evening she started needling me - "how much have you raised for this charity?" then a couple of minutes later "and is (my son) still working Saturdays?". After about 45 minutes of this I'd had enough and told her that it was none of her business how we chose to run our lives and that if she had something to say she should just come out and say it!. I then stormed out and slammed the door. ( I was really upset that my ex OH didn't come after me even after about an hour but decided she was probably insisting he didn't). (The fund raising was all done by stay at home mums organising fetes and jumble sales etc whilst the children played together, and their husbands (including mine) were supportive and even did a sponsored pub crawl for the fund!!) I managed to put all this behind me and MIL and I jogged along ok (luckily they didn't live near us!)