Early words from your future mil

Do we end up like our mothers or like or Mothers-in-law, or both?
I gave my SiL a hug at their wedding and said "You are my son in law. I have never had one of those". He replied "You are my MiL and I have never had one before"

I think we get on rather well after 8 years. I don't know what he says.
My 3 DiL are all very different but all very nice to me. I think I know they grumble about my DS. Too late they're yours now!

It's something to look forward to those of us with sons.

Sara, your comments made me think we are all doomed before we open our mouths.

The first time my husband took me to his home, his parents and oldest brother were outside putting in a new kitchen window. When they came in his dad came through first, hubby said "Dad, this is L---", his dad said "How do?" and carried on upstairs. Next through was his mother, he said "Mam, this is L---", she said "How do?" and carried on walking. Same again when his brother came in. I thought "what a funny family"! But when I got to know them they were lovely, and I still miss them.

My MIL thought us far too young to get married and made it quite clear she wasnt happy, but after a 2 yr engagement we did marry aged 20/21yr with her blessing.We moved into our new home with very little other than wedding presents and second hand furniture,within a year we had our first baby followed 2yrs later by baby 2 and although we had nothing we loved our married life and family, as did she.Later in life whilst suffering ill health she always said how pleased life had been as she had had a wonderful time with her GCs.We had a brilliant relationship and I loved and cared for her dearly.

“If I’d known you were coming I’d have got a larger joint for lunch” ( I was sitting beside my then boyfriend when he phoned to ask if he could bring me to meet them!)

there was a quite amusing thread on MN recently, about MILs expecting/assuming DILs would send cards to her relations.
many even presented the new DIL with an address book. the DILs rejected this and what it implied, with, no thanks, i don't send cards, or why would i send cards to husband's relatives; is he going to send cards to mine, easier if we just do our own.

Not a great relationship with my ex-mil, to say the least .

I'm the eldest of a family of four children (3 girls followed by 1 boy) ......................... and he was the youngest of a family of SIX boys - hence, I got 'her baby' . As the 'family baby', he had absolutely NO CONCEPT of taking responsibility for himself, let alone anybody else.

My late and ex FIL, just said ‘I am going to the club’ and promptly left! On our wedding day he called me by my DH’s ex wife’s name! I never saw them again so no loss there.

My own DM on meeting DH: We had cooked a big Sunday lunch and he was guest of honour. After carving, serving and eating she asked him if he wanted some more?
"Oh yes please", said he, "if you are going to throw it away".
Well..she almost had a fit. "Throw it away! we never throw anything out", wartime rationing, grinding poverty and all that this was nearly true
He must have been keen because he survived that first encounter with my formidable mother who contained herself and there were seldom outbursts after that. she was keen to get rid of me

I can’t remember really, it was so long ago. I know I felt welcomed and she never said anything nasty. We didn’t always see eye to eye but I always thought she was a good person. She had had a sad life as her husband died very young so I never met him. He died when my husband was only 4 years old and my mil never re married.

My MiL was an absolute sweetheart. She made it quite clear I was much too good for her son. I really liked her (her son was very nice!). We did split up after about 12 years & I missed her. I did see her at son's weddings & she was just lovely to me & it was me who walked out on the marriage.
I try to be really nice to my DiLs .

Sooziewoozie.. that's so funny , it made me laugh , it reminds me of the kind of thing someone off the comedy " Inbetweeners" would say . That show has me in fits of laughter, my kind of humour . ??

Generally dear Mil never offered advice but once at one of her parties she did offer " never learn to use a drill"!
Obviously, I took this with a pinch of salt but actually never did master the skill. Unfortunately, neither did DH. ?

One thing I remember mine said was that she didn't understand how young women managed without having fixed days to do jobs. She did not work outside the home. Monday washing, Tuesday ironing, Wednesday shopping Thursday cleaning, Friday baking...

I’ve been blessed with two wonderful MILs. The first was quite upset when her DS and I divorced and we stayed in touch until Alzheimer’s took her away.

My second MIL was an absolute diamond and we hit it off straight away. Her DS was in his 30s when we met and had been, as she put it, ‘a rogue and a ne’er do well, but was always kind’. She and my FIL had given up all hope of him ever settling down. When we got married she presented me with two sets of single bedding off his bed. She burned his bed in the garden and told me he was all mine now, she’d had enough and now it was my turn! She and my wonderful FIL reckoned that after six months I’d have had enough of him and I could, if I wanted, go home to them as long as I didn’t bring my DH with me! They reckon I was the making of him. I encouraged him to go to university and he trained as a teacher - he was good at it too. Both his parents were so very proud of him when he graduated and started work in a local secondary school. Thirty four years later DH and I are still very much together. We miss them both very much.

DH and I met after we both divorced unsuitable, but long term, spouses. My soon to be MIL said, to my face, "well she's better looking than the last one!" DH and I often laughed about that. She was lovely, but very straight talking, once told me my favourite cheesecloth skirt made me look fat... I couldn't get it to the charity shop fast enough, much to DH'S amusement! Oh, but we do miss her.

Sara1954
I can't remember her first words to me but once she knew we were planning to marry she said "you know he still can't dress himself"
she used to check him before he left the house, buttons, tie etc
She was always polite to me but on meeting our 3 DiLs she was rude to two of them. The 3rd she adores as she is very like herself- a pretty little Scottish girl.
She is still here and as sharp as a pin aged 96.

One of my friends, after two divorces, said she would never even consider marrying anyone whose mother was still alive!

My mil was quite charming to me when I first met her, however she showed her true colours just as I was leaving. She asked me what I thought of another guest's table manners (her daughter's then fiance, they broke up a few months later). When I said I hadn't really noticed and she responded "perhaps yours are quite up to scratch either!" and promptly walked off! A sign of things to come. When I finally got my engagement ring several months after we had actually gotten engaged (due to lack of funds) she asked where it had been purchased and then said" you should have gone to Hatton Garden" and did her usual turning and marching off. She was a dreadful snob and looked down her nose at me as I had gone to the wrong school, wrong university and had the wrong ie Scottish, accent. My lovely late husband was so welcomed by my family and he knew exactly was a crashing snob his Ma was. Very sad as she has completely ignored our boys since my husband died.

In case anyone is wondering there was nothing wrong with my table manners. I guess I just didn't match her idea of a dil - I just wasn't landed gentry and I think that is what she wanted. Thank goodness my husband took after his lovely, long suffering Pa.

I so wish with all my heart that one of my Mils had been nice to me but it wasn't to be. The first had lots of money and treated me as totally interior to her family. FIL told me 'My 3 sons could have all done better and that includes you.' He was a butcher and she a hairdresser in wartime. She was agressive dragged me out off the chair by my hair during one disagreement. Both refused to come to our wedding. I was so happy when the tax man put their house under the hammer.
The second was so very jealous of me and wanted DH to stay at home with her. Perhaps because his older brother had died. Whenever I told her we were doing something together she said 'oh he did that with his first wife and other girlfriends' First pregnancy she said I would never make her a grandmother. His friends all warned me she had tried to split him up from all his other GFs and caused trouble with his ex wife. She even tried to set him up with the daughter of one of her friends while we were engaged.
Such a b...h

My MIL is great, she has never interferred and has been never been unkind.She respects me and l her.

My MIL was delighted when she heard about me and welcomed me with open arms. She said she had never liked DH's first wife and she became a lovely granny to my own children and great granny to my grandchildren. It's a good job we got on so well as she lived with us for quite a few years before she died at 99.

My FiL demanded to know what my Dad did for a living. Very disappointed when I told him, he added well I hope you know your place! Very disappointed his son married me. MiL was okay as she wasn't allowed to have an opinion on basically anything.

Nigel likes his socks and underpants to be ironed...