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Hugging

(89 Posts)
honeyrose Sun 09-May-21 22:33:44

Now that we’ll soon be able to hug again, I feel that I can dispense with this particular activity altogether! Does that make me sound a cold person? I’m really not cold at all, but I’m not keen on hugging friends, which seemed to have become the norm before lockdowns. How do I avoid hugging friends without potentially upsetting them? We have been told to keep it short anyway and to save hugging for our closest friends/family, but I don’t want to get back to hugging every time I meet a friend. I hug my 2 granddaughters a lot and am comfortable with this - they’re only 3!

aonk Tue 11-May-21 16:27:25

I’m really at a loss to understand what’s going on here. Everyone must do as they see fit. It’s not a matter for general comment but an individual choice.
Last week my DIL was 40. We visited in the garden on her birthday. I hugged her on her special day but just blew kisses to her mum and sister who I would formerly have hugged. My choice. My DH just waved and sat apart. His choice. No offence given or taken.

CrazyGrandma2 Tue 11-May-21 16:27:59

AmberSpyglass

I can’t WAIT. I’m from a very tactile family so it’s been really odd this past year.

AmberSpyglass what a relief! I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me as I am also a hugger - but only with people who I know enjoy a hug. Anyone else, I would ask if a hug was appropriate. To me a hug is usually life enhancing. Being so distant from everyone has been very strange this past year.

Jacquetta Tue 11-May-21 16:31:46

I didn't hug before, and I shan't hug now.
Family, grandchildren. And that's my lot.
What's the obsession on flipping hugging? !!????????,

grannybuy Tue 11-May-21 16:54:30

I'm not a hugger. I was born in 1948, and my mother ( youngest of nine ) often said over the years that they ' weren't brought up like that '. I can't recall my parents or granny ever hugging me. I think of hugging as a means of showing love or comfort, not as a hello or goodbye thing. I do hug my DGC, though, as other posters have said, once they reach a certain age, they're not so keen!

varian Tue 11-May-21 17:00:26

I really like to hug my loved ones and have missed that over the last year, but I have not missed the meaningless, and sometimes embarrassing social kissing that seemed to get out of control about ten or fifteen years ago.

In our little village all the locals would congregate in the small bar of the pub on a Friday night. We were jammed in like sardines. Drinks were passed over heads in all directions and everyone was kissing everyone else.

I don't see us returning to that anytime soon.

Jaxjacky Tue 11-May-21 17:08:58

I’m a hugger, as my family always have been and we don’t mind the cheek ‘kiss’, we got used to it in France, but not encountered it here.

songstress60 Tue 11-May-21 17:37:35

I am NOT a tactile person, and I do not mind admitting it. I once told an acquaintance not to hug me when she suggested I needed a hug. This is one part of the pandemic that I didn't miss. I believe you should respect people's wishes.

123kitty Tue 11-May-21 19:14:39

I've missed hugging my family and friends so much. I hadn't realised so many people were anti-huggers. I don't think older people are so used to hugging and kissing their friends.

NoddingGanGan Tue 11-May-21 20:28:51

I hate hugging. Don't even like hugging my AC if I'm honest. I can just about cope with hugging GC if it's kept short. I have no idea why anyone likes to be pinned down by someone else's arms around them. confused

Harmonypuss Tue 11-May-21 21:52:13

If you want to hug, hug, if you don't want to, don't - simple really, no-one can force anyone to hug if they don't want to.

Lizzyflip Tue 11-May-21 22:08:59

I long for a hug from my 2 daughters. They've not hugged me since Christmas day (and that was a one off). My grandchildren hug me but their mums don't. I worry that I won't ever get another hug from them. [shrugging]

Nannan2 Wed 12-May-21 10:29:57

I think youre right Lollin.Misschateline possibly wrong.to a certain extent..as for the hugs- just keep stood back a bit, enough for folk not to get near enough for a hug, or air kiss, or what ever, if they move towards you, just move back more, I'm sure they will get idea if you do so that you don't want to- if they don't just say I'm still not hugging thanks. My son gets changed a lot, especially if we go out, we all get showers, and get changed.He has OCD.

effalump Thu 13-May-21 13:02:02

I've never really been comfortable with hugging unless it's with family. I would never initiate a hug. It's a bit like when people say 'Love you' at every opportunity. It just doesn't feel genuine.