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Did your Mum ever say she loved you?

(178 Posts)
Foxglove77 Sun 13-Jun-21 18:07:32

Just that really. I can't remember my Mum ever saying that to me, although she hugged me when my old dog was pts. So I was surprised when my brother called her and at the end of the call, she tried to hide and said I love you too.

I've never said it to my children which I feel sad about now, but my grand daughter says I love you Nanny quite often. I always say I love you too.

Is it an endearment you pick up from your parents?

Mattsmum2 Sun 13-Jun-21 19:26:29

She says it occasionally and says love to all. It’s mostly by message. I say it to my children all the time. Every call is ended by saying ‘love you’ and messages end like that too. I would hate to think that one day I or they would not be able to say it as we will not be here. If you mean it, it’s not too late to start saying it xxx

JackyB Sun 13-Jun-21 19:32:28

My mother wasn't the sort and nor am I. When I've figured out what love actually is, I might say it to them.

FannyCornforth Sun 13-Jun-21 19:39:21

All of the time. She is no longer with me, but I know that she adored me.
I tell my dad every day that I love him too.

sodapop Sun 13-Jun-21 19:44:56

I don't think many people said this when I was a child, my mother certainly didn't and neither did my ex husband's parents.
My current husband is much more tactile and tells his children often that he loves them. I have tried to follow his example. I too think over use devalues the word.

Dryginger Sun 13-Jun-21 19:52:05

I think she said it once just after my daughter died, but we never really got on.
My brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews, we all say it to each other which is lovely.

Cabbie21 Sun 13-Jun-21 19:58:18

It wasn’t the sort of thing that was said in our family, but I know my parents loved me, no doubt. I don’t say it to my adult children, though I do occasionally to my grandchildren but less so now they are teenagers. They would squirm.

Luckygirl Sun 13-Jun-21 20:10:56

Not something my Mum ever said; but I said it all the time to mine, and to the GC.

Greyduster Sun 13-Jun-21 20:19:48

No I don’t remember her saying it. We had a difficult relationship. I was born late to her and was an inconvenience. I never saw my mother and father show any affection for each other either. We are entirely the opposite as a family. My children and grandchild know they are loved and hear it often from both of us.

BlueBelle Sun 13-Jun-21 20:28:03

I don’t think there was anything bad about it, I know both my parents loved me but I don’t remember any of us using those actual words, but I never ever felt that I wasn’t loved I hope they knew how much I loved them without me saying it

It’s a generational thing now a days everyone says ‘love you’ and it means no more really, they are words only

My Nan and grandad adored me their only grandchild but again I don't remember anyone actually using the words love except on cards and letters

Puzzler61 Sun 13-Jun-21 20:32:00

I didn’t hear it from my mum, but I say it weekly to my children when I talk to them or see them. I also tell them they look lovely, their hair is pretty or the colour of the clothes they are wearing suits them.
These were all compliments I never heard from my mum.
She said them to my sister instead.

Yammy Sun 13-Jun-21 20:35:00

Not something either said to me. I sat on my fathers knee much more than my mothers.
She didn't even say I looked good on my wedding day. I can still remember my father's words though as we get settled into the taxi he said "Nice day for it", it might as well have been a rugby match.

Kali2 Sun 13-Jun-21 20:42:38

I am very sorry to hear many of you were not told by mum that she loved them. I feel truly grateful mine did, so often and always and showed it too.My dad never said it, but it was so so clear in his actions and the way he behaved towards me.

Anniebach Sun 13-Jun-21 20:56:52

My mother did and my father. Always tell my daughters and my grandchildren.

Floradora9 Sun 13-Jun-21 21:17:10

My mother never did but I knew she loved me my father did not even like me . He was a widower with grown up children when he married my much younger mother and he really did not want another family . I had a spinster aunt who was always saying to me " Did I ever tell you that I love you " She loved all the children in the family and I am pleased that I repayed her in her later years. I always sent her a mother's day card etc..I am so happy my children were included in her love.

Lillie Sun 13-Jun-21 21:33:56

no she didnt say it but i believe she did.
i try extra hard to make up for it now with my own.

Redhead56 Sun 13-Jun-21 22:06:54

My parents were good and worked hard but no my mum used to tell us we were not wanted. She would say she just wanted one child or maybe two. The first were twins then six one after the other. It’s sad really they were a lot better than some of my friends parents but struggled money wise and always argued.
The hippy sixties might have been great for some but not for us. I did love my parents I know they did their best with what they had. I was the brassy one who answered back my dads favourite. Two of my sisters were favoured by my mum I never quite understood why.
Later on in life mum before dementia struck mum was more affectionate. Truthfully it would have been nice to have heard it when we were little. They both came from big families it was the norm have kids and get on with it. I know I learnt from it telling my two I loved them all the time. Now thirty three and thirty and they still know I adore them.

BigBertha1 Sun 13-Jun-21 22:27:14

No never and she didnt.

TerriT Sun 13-Jun-21 22:27:27

My parents should never have had children. My father never grew up and my mother had ambition and we got in the way of it. To say we were dysfunctional is an understatement! I accepted our chaotic life and thought it was how everyone lived. As a result I am a loner and whilst married with grown children always feel I wouldn’t be missed if I disappeared. I think I’m a good example of kids who aren’t nurtured by their carersI find it impossible to say I love you, feel really uncomfortable. Very sad but it’s how I am.

Sara1954 Sun 13-Jun-21 22:31:29

No. I don’t believe she did love me, but she wasn’t the type to say it anyway.

ElaineI Sun 13-Jun-21 22:35:22

Always. We are a huggy, touchy, feely family.

nexus63 Sun 13-Jun-21 22:46:51

my mum never said it to me, i was sent to live with grandparents at age 12, she choose to stay with my step father and sent me away, i have never been able to forgive her for that even 40 years later, 3 years ago i had cancer, all the phone calls ended with love you....i say it but i am not sure i mean it, i am very tactile and my son gives me a cuddle as soon as he sees me, my son also tells me he loves in text messages and phone calls, i brought him up to know that he is the most important person in my life, my gran used to tuck me in..even at 12 and tell me she loved me, i think it just depends on the person.

Shelflife Sun 13-Jun-21 23:05:55

My parents never said " I love you " but me and my siblings knew we were loved. I had no doubt about it at all and I am eternally grateful for my happy and secure childhood and teenage years. I however told my children often how much I loved them and I tell my GC the same. I think it is a generational thing- it just wasn't done when I was young . Did'nt miss it at all ! I just knew I was loved. I was so lucky to have such caring parents. No fancy holidays , Dad worked long hours , not much spare cash but we were loved , fed and taught to care .

Scentia Sun 13-Jun-21 23:15:03

No, never. She very often said she hated me and I was a mistake!!
I tell my children and grandchildren I love them all the time but I find it far more important to SHOW someone you love them, words come very easy to some people.
Mind you my mum said and showed she hated me so at least she was consistent!
OP if you find it hard to say, then as long as you show them you love them that is enough. Have you thought about writing to them to tell them how you feel and your regrets at not being more verbally loving.

maddyone Sun 13-Jun-21 23:25:12

tanith

I don’t remember her ever saying it but I say it all the time to my children and Grandchildren.

Yes, this. Mum never said she loved me as a child, but she has said it just very recently, occasionally.

NotSpaghetti Sun 13-Jun-21 23:41:24

My parents both said it. Not all the time in the throw-away way people use it now. They saved it for important moments and said "oh, I do so love you" or "I love you so much". It may have been (when little) as they snuggled me into bed, as a teenager when "off out" in a party mood when they wanted me to have fun, when I'd done something they felt proud of or maybe if I was going back to university and would be gone for a while...

I know they loved me beyond all sense and reason.
I was truly truly blessed.