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Very delayed ‘Wake’/Memorial get together

(12 Posts)
Flaxseed Tue 10-Aug-21 12:23:16

My lovely Dad died just as we started to come out of lockdown last year.
However, we were very limited with numbers at the funeral and the wake was just a few of us on our own socially distanced tables. No chance to mingle.

We had already missed his 80th birthday get together as it was just we went into the first lockdown.

He was very popular and an integral part of the community.
My Mum would like to have a get together for those who missed saying goodbye and/or celebrating his birthday. We can get a venue with a bar cheaply, and sort food.
Does anyone have any suggestions of what we can do to make it special?
I will put together a slide show of his life to play in the background.
I’m thinking of maybe poems, a lighthearted urology maybe?
We don’t want anything formal, but want to it be more special than just everyone sitting round ‘catching up’
Thanks in advance

Flaxseed Tue 10-Aug-21 12:24:39

Eulogy!! Not urology grin

Flaxseed Tue 10-Aug-21 12:25:31

Sorry I didn’t preview first and there’s more mistakes than I would have liked!

B9exchange Tue 10-Aug-21 13:00:24

I love the idea of a light hearted urology! grin grin

I think your ideas are lovely, perhaps have a table with photos of him, wedding album, or if you have more, a stand with them pinned on so people can walk round?

vegansrock Tue 10-Aug-21 13:03:25

Yes a few words from anyone who want to share their memories of him and a toast.

Aldom Tue 10-Aug-21 13:06:57

Ideas as above. Did he like music? Maybe put together music he had enjoyed throughout his life. This could be playing in the background as family and friends look at photos etc.

Jaxjacky Tue 10-Aug-21 13:08:25

My friend had a similar get together for her late Mum, she’d amassed lots of pictures she displayed on a board, a lot of them family events and an album. Many people that attended were in the photos, as a lot were historical, there was much laughter over fashions gone by.

Susan56 Tue 10-Aug-21 13:15:06

A friend of mine did several collages of pictures of her mum with the people attending the wake.It was lovely looking at all the photos and reminiscing and as Jax says laughing at the fashions of yesteryear!

Nansnet Tue 10-Aug-21 13:25:12

My condolences to you, Flaxseed. I'm planning the same for my lovely Dad, as soon as I can get back to the UK! I wasn't even able to attend his funeral, as flights from where I am were banned at the time. I'm planning to have a gathering of family and close friends at the social club he was a member of, and cater with food and drinks. Music on a playlist from the 50s & 60s, which was his era, when he met and married my mum. A memory book, for people to write any memories they have of him. And a large collage of photos. He was great gardener, so I'll be putting out lots of small flowering plants for people to take home to remember him by.

Kamiso Tue 10-Aug-21 13:25:49

Get a few packs of different sized post its and pens and ask people to write down any memories or thoughts about your Dad, then put them up on a board.

So many people told me of all sorts of kindness my younger brother had shown to them, but he had never told anyone. It would have been lovely to look back at the words once the initial shock was more bearable.

Flaxseed Tue 10-Aug-21 15:51:59

Thank you everyone!

nansnet I am so sorry you couldn’t get back to your Dad’s funeral. sad
Our Dads sound very similar. He met and married my Mum in the 60’s, and loved his garden.
Bless my Mum, she’s a feisty woman who is coping well and trying her best to keep his garden going.
I love the ideas re collecting memories and a toast to him.
I will pass these on to Mum smile

overthehill Tue 10-Aug-21 17:11:45

Think this is preferable to having a gathering straight after the funeral.

Both my husband and myself have decided to have a direct cremation to spare everyone from the awful gathering round the house before then looking at the flowers for longer than necessary then the rawness of the gathering. It can't bring them back so we have decided once the news has sunk in, whoever is left will arrange a get together to remember the person, using suggestions as posted on here.