Cremation that no-one attends

Rosie51

My feeling is that funerals are for the living, not the dead. While I'd always respect and uphold the type of funeral someone had personally wanted, I would hope they would give some thought to the impact it might make on those left behind. For many, the grieving process could be hampered by the lack of any "marking" of the dead person's life.

Absolutely agree with this. I couldn’t have coped if my parents had wanted this. I needed the closure a proper funeral brings. Of course the grieving goes on afterwards but the funeral does finalise things.

Nor could I cope with a knees up after the death of a loved one. We had respectful wakes, food, and chatting. Many hugs with family members.

If the person him- or herself has chosen this, then obviously we have to respect their choice.

Unfortunately, whatever one chooses, it is as well to discuss it with your nearest when you make up your mind, as otherwise it can come as a shock.

I had a dear friend whom I had literally known all my life who left no instructions at all about her funeral, although she had made her will and died at the age of 86, after some weeks in hospital where she was aware the end was approaching.

Her nephews and their wives who were responsible for making arrangements and who had loved her dearly, where distressed because they had no idea what their aunt had wanted, and opted for simple cremation, which to me was just not what their aunt would ever have chosen.

So do, please, leave clear directions, and preferably discuss them with your family while you are still hale and hearty.