Jealous granddaughter

'All the attention '

We don't think the toddler walks on water. We think it's unfortunate that older cousin is upset if not getting sĺ gbd attention

I agree with everyone else here. It is not unusual for a 9 year old to not be interested in a toddler cousin. How do you know she is jealous? Did she tell you that or are you projecting what you think she is feeling?

I am more confused as to why everyone seems to think that the 9 year old should be interested in the first place. Because they are cousins? So? Because everyone else is the family thinks the toddler walks on water?

As for the hand washing, please talk to her doctor if it doesn't get better. Obsessive hand washing is a form of OCD, which is a medical condition that needs to be treated.

She gets so jealous that she leaves the room and goes go the bedroom she uses when she stays with us.

I should say that her parents speak to her about the hand washing,. She's very bright so they try to rationalise it and discuss her worries logically.

Maybe she just resents the toddler getting all the attention? Easily done, as they're so cute at that age. I don't see why she's expected to play with the baby.

It could also be that she lacks confidence with small children - so perhaps an adult could involve them both in an activity - or demonstrate ways to respond? Ignoring isn't nice, though, so perhaps she could clap hands or peek-a-boo for a few minutes.

My grandson, at that age (having been an only child) resented being continually pestered by a small half-brother, spending weekends with his dad.

The soap thing - we've all had sore hands this year. I've bought two foaming soap dispensers for the guest bathroom and toilet. They are quarter filled with moisturising hand soap, then topped up with water. The foam, a weaker solution, is kinder. We use O'Keeffe's working hands before bed.

Is it really that big a deal? I wasn’t interested in babies or toddlers when I was 9. I’m not sure why you’re all so upset over it.

Just leave them be, showing no favouritism to either.

Dont worry about her playing with the toddler. After all they are cousins. It's not the same relationship as if she were her sister.

I dont think she should be pushed to 'be nice' to the baby as that will force her to dislike her more.

Just let her be.

I would however, be concerned that she is stressed over Covid. If as you say she started washing hands obsessively.

What do her parents think?

An 18-month-old is probably not of much interest to a 9-year-old. It's not nice that she ignores the baby, but maybe she doesn't really know what to do with her. Perhaps if you could help them to do something together for a short while it would break the ice a bit.

As for the sore hands, I found that handwash was much harsher than ordinary soap. If your GD is using handwash, perhaps you could give her some good soap to use instead.