Granddaughter wants to change her name.

If someone says they want to be referred to by a specific name, surely the only polite thing to do is to call them that.

Go with the flow. If it’s her middle given name, why not?

Perhaps she has never liked her first given name. Learning that her aunt has changed her name (the circumstances are irrelevant imo) has just alerted her to the fact that it's possible to call oneself something other the name others have always used.

She's opting for a given name not one chosen from elsewhere so it simply sounds like she prefers her middle name.

Ten seems a good age as when she goes to senior school next year she will be known from the start by the name she prefers.

From the age of eleven, I had a good schoolfriend I always knew as Susan. We were 50 before I learned that was her middle name and she didn't like her first.

Back in the time when children were named generation after generation after their parents it was common for them to be known by their middle names to avoid confusion. Not the same thing I know but nowadays when it's more likely not to be named after a parent or a grandparent, one wonders what the purpose of having two or more given names is.

Yes, I would treat this as a normal, and not uncommon thing. Certainly I have known lots of people who have done this - sometimes it sticks, sometimes it doesn't.
It is inevitable that you and others will forget and use her given name from time to time, and you will see by her reaction how important it is.
I would also say that she should try it out among friends and family before school is formally told.
Cultures vary a great deal with given' and 'chosen' names. For many of us born into native British families, 2 given names often meant that one was liked by the parents, and one had a family connection.

My brother chose to be known by his middle name when he started his first job as he had always disliked his first name.

Close family carried on using his given name. It was very confusing when everyone got together for his wedding as at times it seemed we were talking about two different people!

I still don't like my name. I've wanted to change it all my life but didn't want to hurt my DPs. Now its really a bit too late.

My DF and his brothers were all called by their second names so I don't see it as a problem if this GD wants to do the same. It's still a name her parents choose. (I didn't like my second name either!)

A lot of people go by their middle name. Her aunt changing her name has just probably made 10 year old aware it's possible. Why not?

When I was around the age of ten one of my friends, same age, announced that she no longer wished for be called Lillian. She wished to be known as Pat. From that point on, Pat she was. She has gone through life known by the name she chose for herself. So it's quite normal. I wouldn't worry.

Her middle name is just as much her name as her first name. That is the great advantage of having two or more names to choose from . When our son secured a new job , he was asked if he had a middle name as there were already three members of staff with the same first name as him! Fortunately he has three forenames so he had two options! He was quite happy to choose one of his three names.
Please don't worry about your GD s decision, she is not changing her name she is simply choosing one of the two names she already has.
I am sure you will soon get used to it.

I never liked my name either but legal change is a nightmare, so I settled.

Good for her, to find who she is!

I thought the name we chose for absentdaughter was lovely. She didn't and, once she became a preteen, she persuaded all her friends to call her by a completely different name. I didn't dislike the name she chose, but lots of people shared the same name whereas her original name was much more unusual. (Ironically, it is now one of the most popular girls' names in the UK.) Once she became an adult, she made the change legally and nowadays I always think of her with her new name – she is still the same daughter.

Hithere

I never liked my name either but legal change is a nightmare, so I settled.

Good for her, to find who she is!

Are you in the UK highthere?
Changing a name legally is really easy and you can do it free actually. Even the "registered" route is less than £50. I think it's more likely to be the bank, water etc that's time consuming to be honest.
I've helped several people change names in my time working with women in refuge. It really wasn't hard.

As regards the 10 year old. A friend of mine had her 12 year old decide she didn't like her name. She just stopped using her given name (though kept her surname) and simply told everyone that she was now called x.
If felt a bit odd to me at first but she is 50 now and still using the name she chose, even after marriage.
Using a middle name isn't even changing a name. Just let it go!

Very easy to change your name.

Many years ago a girl at my school decided to change her name . We were a bit surprised but she insisted and within a year she was known by her new name by teachers/pupils/family etc etc

In fact I'm struggling now to remember what her initial name actually was!

Using your middle name as a first name is not that unusual.

Hithere - just realised you may be in Scotland or elsewhere. My knowledge is only how things work where I am (England and presumably Wales and NI).

Sounds perfectly normal to me. Lots of children, especially girls, decide to make changes to their names.

Sometime they swap middle for main name - like our Prime Minister -. His name is Alexander Boris (and a few more names) Johnson. At sometime he decided he wanted to be called Boris rather than Alexander.

My DD, didn't change her name, but did change its spelling - Jane to J.ne - (no that is not her name).

Your grand daughter probably doesn't like her first given name, but didn't know she could change it until she heard her aunt was doing it and then, with quiet relief, decided to shed her first name and use her second name.

How everyday. How normal.

My youngest sister changed her name when she was about 18. For some reason she had always been known by her second name from birth, then she decided she preferred her first name and asked everyone to call her that. We are still not used to it after nearly 50 years!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Someone I know’s mother is known as Kathy, it’s her middle name. I only recently found out. The reason? Both her and her sister have the same first name.

If your grand daughter wants to be known by another name it’s fine. Lots of applications etc ask if you want to be known by a certain name.

My sons-in-law both go by their second names, which sometimes needs explaining in work. A school-friend called Edwina hated it and persuaded everyone to use her second name. It wasn’t a big deal really, even back then. I your GD enjoys it.

My youngest DD had a nickname (an actual surname that showed up on her first scan picture) from before she was born and, until she went into Primary 2 (the one after Reception in England), everyone used her nickname. We moved house just before she entered P2 and she announced that she wanted to be called by her given name at school.

So she was.

We continued using the nickname for a while and told the school about it in case we referred to her using it.

No problems arose ever.

My mother changed her First name at the age of 95.
She was given the name of Clarissa but was always called Clarice.
When she went happily into residential care at 95 the staff called her Clarissa and she decided that was what she wanted to be and she was only called that for the next 7 years by friends and family.

What do her parents think?

It's pretty harmless really. All my life I have often used my middle name as I prefer it, but stick to my first name for legal things, passsport etc.