Unexpected gift

You are right of course Riverwalk it is complicated by working for them. I had skipped over that.
Usually you are only allowed token gifts - in my previous roles there was usually a "sum" attached so if the gift was likely to be worth more than "x" you had to decline. We always had to "log" gifts too.

If this is a private working arrangement I would definitely write a thank you note as a minimum and log it in my work diary too.

Maybe someone with knowledge of private employment will come along and have better ideas.

lemsip

I used to visit an old lady. when she died I was appalled when her family asked me to choose something of hers to remember her by...appalled to think that's why I had visited her for so long.... I won't forget her.

I don't think they were thinking you'd forget her if you didn't have the item. It shows they knew how important your relationship was and they wanted to give you a sentimental object. I think that's lovely. When my family member died I didn't give anything to anyone who wouldn't really treasure it, because I treasured everything connected to them too much for that.

Take it to the jeweller and see it’s worth if you want, but as it’s the sentiment behind the giving and wearing of it, does it matter? You won’t be selling it. I think the giving and receiving of gifts whilst in a caring role is usually discouraged for obvious reasons, but I don’t know the full circumstances so cannot comment. I am a believer of wearing things you love rather than keep them in a box for someone else to have, I too have given a couple of items away to special people as I didn’t wear them and they enjoyed them.

If the lady is quite elderly, she could be in the early stages of Alzheimers/Dementia. I'd be very careful as, if she is, she may acuse you of stealing it if she suddenly sees you wearing in one day. If you are certain she is OK, it may be better to ask her to write a little note and sign it to say she has gifted it to you. I don't mean to make you sound distrustful but, as an example, you say her kids live abroad. If or when the lady passes and her kids were to come to a funeral, the daughter might notice the ring and state that that was the one her mother had promised to her. Can you see what I mean? no matter how trustworthy you are, something like this could be very unpleasant especially when you have such a good relationship with this couple.

Accept it with an open heart just as was intended by the giver. The dear lady wants you to have it so it would be churlish to try to return it whatever it’s value turns out to be.
In your shoes I’d get it valued so it can be properly insured. That’s the business side of it. The other side is one of love and esteem. Don’t dwell, simply enjoy it.

i would be very wary of this situation.
i have heard of several occasions where similar has happened then after the older person dies, the relatives appear and accuse the friend of taking things or using undue influence to get them.
far from being grateful, many relatives, esp distant ones who have not given any support to their elder, are quick to accuse.