Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Different family opinions

(108 Posts)
Kartush Sun 26-Sep-21 00:33:24

My grandsons new partner is a lovely lady, but some of her beliefs are causing issues in our family.

She is a vegan and while I personally do not care what she eats, it does make family gatherings a little more difficult as I like to always make sure there are vegan items available to her. My husband bless him does most of the cooking and is of the opinion that when you go to someones house you eat what they give you, as in if he went to their house he would eat vegan. This is the minor difficulty however.
She is totally anti vax. Her three year old son has never been vaccinated and she is adamant that she will not be having the covid vaccination, she is also attempting to persuade my grandson to do the same. This is a worry for me even though my grandson has assured me that his son will always be vaccinated.
My husband and our grandson had a rather heated conversation about this the other day where my grandson was almost about to leave.
Two of our three children are also not vaccinated, not because they are against it but because they are just to lazy to go and get it done.
I have spoken to my husband and he has agreed not to bring up the vaccination subject again when anyone comes to visit but I hated to have to ask him that.
I am at my wits end trying to keep the piece in a family that is becoming more and more divided

Coco51 Tue 28-Sep-21 00:34:52

I’d suggest you buy ready made vegan meals for her, and ask the unvaccinated members of you family to take lateral flow tests before they visit

Teacheranne Tue 28-Sep-21 01:46:34

I will cook or bake to match the needs of who is eating the food, I love searching for new recipes and ingredients. The hardest I found to cater for was a cake for a vegan who was also gluten free and allergic to nuts! I can’t remember what I finally made but it had apple sauce and rolled oats ( only Quaker Oats are guaranteed gluten free during processing though) and tasted quite nice! Many recipes use ground almonds or coconut oil - allergic to both!

My friend would have brought her own snacks but I was determined to find something to bake, I viewed it as a challenge!

Mistyfluff8 Tue 28-Sep-21 06:01:28

On the front pages of the newspapers there are photos of eminent people who are anti Vaccination and they died I believe young people in Intensive Care have been begging for the vaccine but it’s too late sad really Vaccines work on herd immunity so your grandson fingers crossed at lower risk of getting diseases but no guarantee.My husband got meningitis way before any jabs he was left dyslexia nobody helped recognised it at school .Buy a vegan ready meal for daughter in law Personally I wouldn’t have unvaccinated family in my home .It’s already a case in some jobs no vaccine no work

Daftbag1 Tue 28-Sep-21 14:52:52

If cooking vegan foods is so difficult, why not either purchase some pre prepared foods, or, have a word with this lady and ask her if she could possibly bring her own, just explain that hubby is the household cook and is frightened of change.

As for the vaccination issues, swap it round, she clearly has very strong opinions, she probably feels as strongly about your decision to vaccinate as you her decision not to. Presumably you expect her to respect your opinions, she can therefore expect the same respect. Can you not agree to disagree?

Gabrielle56 Tue 28-Sep-21 15:29:25

agnurse

Whether she has her child vaccinated is up to her and isn't something you should be discussing, except to determine your personal risk of getting COVID from them.

Many people who eat vegan do so for reasons that include health, environment, and concern for animals. If cooking for her is difficult, you can decide not to invite her over for meals.

All very well , although I find that we are supposed to not stick our nose in, yet they all can pitch up and have a go at us? Agree to differ works best, but no banned subjects - it only creates unhealthy secrets and lies

Dinahlee Tue 28-Sep-21 19:03:00

Can I ask? I didn’t realise someone unvaccinated is a risk to someone who is vaccinated? I would think the risk was equal
??

M0nica Tue 28-Sep-21 19:42:32

Vaccination is not 100% effective (no vaccine is), but if a vaccinated person gets COVID they will be less ill than if they had not had the vaccination. Vaccinated people with underlying health problems are most at risk.The majority of those now being hospitalised and dying are nvaccinated.

Our vaccinated DDiL went down with COVID last week. She has an condition that means her immune system is compromised. She has been quite unwell but is now recovering, but not so ill that any medical assistance or consultation was required. She picked up the illness from an unvaccinated child, who later tested positive and now both her children, neither of whom is vaccinated, because the school have yet to start vaccinations, also have it, but without symptoms.