Running The gift shop gauntlet!!

No means no, they eventually get the message, so I’m with the daughter in this. Mine knew that, my gc too. My gc were told no by their parents and if they made enough fuss it turned to yes, on many occasions. It makes for so many problems when you can’t lift them up and carry them into the car. They learn by making enough fuss they will get what they want. That’s not the grown up world.

My daughter was very good after throwing a tantrum in the doorway of a shop in a mall. It was the full throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming job. The friend I was shopping with and I proceeded to Call "Bravo bravo and applaud her loudly. She very quickly stopped picked herself up and walked off embarrassed by us. Her one and only aged 2 years and 2 months.

So agree with the thrill of the gift shop on school trips. We used to say once they'd been to the loo, eaten their packed lunch and spent their £2 at the gift shop, the actual intended learning experience was negligible.

Choose: we only have enough money for either the visit, or the gift. If you throw a wobbly, no more outings for a month (or two).

Give the child pocket money and a piggy bank. They should have control over this and use it to buy whatever they want, as long as they have enough. When it's gone, it's gone. Then it doesn't matter how many cuddly toys they buy. It's their money. My late husband and I used to disagree over this when our children were small but it taught them that money is (or should be) a finite resource. You can't spend what you haven't got. They can learn about mortgages and student loans when they're older!

Gift shops at attractions are generally very expensive and unfair if you have to walk through them to get out as a parent or grandparent. As the grandparent I always say no to these shops before we start the outing , reiterate a as we approach to walk through and never have problems. Parents do the same. We always buy an ice cream though. If we go to a charity shop which the kids love I will always give them a small amount of money to spend. I give each £5 a week pocket money which they can squander or save. It was £3 but I upped it at lockdown on condition the tidied rooms, emptied dishwasher etc, etc. and be generally kind and helpful. I check regularly that they do. They are 12.

Put it on your Christmas list is one of my stand-by's.
They're happy to browse & enjoy the conversation generated.

The odd trinket every now & then does give a reminder of a lovely day.

I personally love the gift shops and usually manage to find something that isn't too expensive.
The choices available for children, however isn't always that brilliant and the most eye catching things available are the soft toys that are usually cheap and badly made, that have absolutely nothing to do with the place that you have visited.
The idea of giving the child a certain amount of money to spend themselves can be a good idea, as long as you make it into a game with a time limit - one of my nieces took so long to decide what she wanted to buy, that the staff were waiting to lock up !
We actually got round that one by making the gift shop the first place to visit.
How about that they try the ice cream man trick ? We were told that if the ice cream van was playing music , it meant that they had run out! Perhaps say that if the lights are on in the shop, it means that they have run out of teddies (the ones in the window are for display only!)

How about “That can be your next birthday/Christmas present; we’ll put it away safely at home, and you can have it on your birthday/at Christmas”?

Another vote for NO means NO! No explanations, no discussions, no bargaining, just NO! It's only a tantrum, for goodness sake! If you did not engage in discussions, 'reasoning' etc. you would not have this problem. I'm not against giving them a couple of quid for an ice-cream, but if she wants yet another cuddly toy, tell her she must save her pocket money. I be it becomes a lot less attractive when she has to spend her own money! Giving in just teaches her to be manipulative - not what you want to encourage.

I'm with Nonogran on this. It's a case of steeling yourself to the tantrum and remaining calm. No discussion, no pleas, nothing. Most children will only keep going if there is some sort of payback. Even our ASD grandchild who finds it difficult to understand is being taught that you can't always have everything you want.

Oh how I remember the dreaded gift shops, particularly when my children were on school trips. Fortunately, they chose quite practical things like pencils and novelty erasers so they did get used. Neither were keen on stuffed toys and they both soon adopted our stance on plastic tat and how to avoid it.
The OP however is in a different situation and I guess the only way forward is for parents and grandparents to adopt a united front, say no and mean no and put up with the tantrums.......for a while at least, I'm sure the little one will grow out of it.
It's just unfortunate that the exits from these attractions require visitors to walk through the gift shops.

A true story about the perils of gift shop purchases ....

So, on a school trip it is "educational" for children to buy a postcard, a snowy globe, or a momento of the place they visited. All agreed.
As best as possible I always checked the shop out first, but Mont St Michel in France has so many souvenir shops it is impossible to do that.
Two days later waiting on the coach to board the ferry home I get asked by a girl, "Mrs. P. do you know some of the boys have got swords and daggers from M st M in their bags?"
I think you might just be able to see from the picture.

Josianne I had similar thing on a school (history) trip in Paris.
After a short “free time” session one student arrived back with his purchase of some kind of weapon (can’t remember…). As the French speaker I had to accompany him back to the store and exchange it for a tee shirt.
The boy was about 16 but seemed unaware the weapon would cause problems at customs……so his purchase may have been the sharpest knife, but he certainly wasn’t

Ha ha Lucca!

When ours were small, they were permitted to have a souvenir pencil, or something very small as we did not have the money to waste and told them so. If a tantrum were to erupt then so be it& they would get nothing. Parents are far too soft on pestering children these days& a firm “ not today sorry” would do some children the world of good.

I used to ask them to choose a postcard which we then stored in an album. We wrote in the album the name of the gallery or museum and what we enjoyed seeing or doing there.

Let he spend her allowance/pocket money herself on whatever she wants for the money she has and make that part of the experience, or take her places that you know don't have a gift shop. At present a lot of places are not opening gift shops.

I never repeat never buy in these shops and I most certainly do not make deals with 5 year olds I'm an adult I'm in charge

One of my boys around the age of 2-3 always wanted to ride on those wretched fairground type cars/bikes/horses, etc that some supermarkets have (or had - don't see many now.) Every time I said "No," he'd have a tantrum so I said if he didn't misbehave he could have one next time. He hardly ever got a ride because he never accepted "No." It was the same with many things so sadly he missed out on a lot, so they don't always accept a firm "No."

Our GC are really quite good about it if we say no, they just accept that and go to look for Mum and Dad! Though I'm not averse to buying them something if it's good quality, not cheap plastic rubbish.

With our own children we gave them each some money to spend in the gift shop, if it wasn't enough for what they wanted, tough! On a couple of occasions I had to carry youngest son kicking and screaming out of a shop without the toy he wanted. They soon learned that No meant No, and I think they do the same with their own children now.

I think I was lucky in that I understood from an early age not to ask my parents for things as they hadn’t any spare money. It was the same with my own children. If we went somewhere with a gift shop, we just walked straight through. I was quite shocked to discover that other. People were more indulgent, and I thought they were foolish. I can afford to be more generous with my grandchildren, but they were always very sensible and considerate about not choosing tat.

Do the children have pocket money? Our DGC get 10p for each year of their age twicea week. They can then save and spend it on any tat in the gift shop. Once it's gone it's gone. No extra given

I told my kids I never buy children anything in shops. If they really wanted it when we got home I would go alone to get it next day e.g. magazine, small toy, while they were OH or at school or nursery. Sweets were Friday only after tea, and no other day
Strict on this and never had any tantrums or trouble in shops and no fillings under 18.
In this case I would offer an ice cream or the toy. Then start a new rule that mummy can't buy children anything in shops while they are with her. HTH

Whatdayisit

Did somebody mention local honey I te gift shop?
My employer demanded local honey from Sandringham and I had no fight left to say no in the gift shop.
Only saw the £13.99 price tag after paying! It is not only the kids!!

Did it have strands of gold running through it?
I hope he or she paid!