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Am I being too cynical?

(42 Posts)
kittylester Sun 17-Oct-21 11:45:25

Our local Spotted has recently had a rash of heart rending begging posts. Lots are puportedly for 'a friend who has recently managed to escape domestic violence and can't afford a television for their 3 children' or 'my friend whose partner just sold the autistic child's tablet to buy drugs' etc etc

There are lots of helpful comments and offers but am I being cynical to doubt the veracity of a lot of the posts?

Does it happen in other areas?

Auntieflo Mon 18-Oct-21 14:35:05

I don't think you are being cynical Kittylester.

We have, in our area, a poster who used to regularly ask for items, as "they are an elderly couple who have downsized and moved into smaller accommodation".
Or wording very similar to that.
I think they must have everything they need now, as the request seem to have stopped. Cynical moi?

JdotJ Mon 18-Oct-21 14:37:37

There is a local FB page for my area whereby residents kindly donate for free, various household goods/clothes etc and recently one of the admins on the site posted a message saying that someone has been blocked, as it was discovered (how I don't know) that this someone was first in the queue within seconds for free stuff every time anything at all was posted and it wasn't being accepted in the spirit in which it was being offered.
Oooh

Callistemon Mon 18-Oct-21 14:45:50

JdotJ
That happened with our local Freecycle group.
A couple would come with a van, go round collecting items then it was discovered that they had a secondhand shop in a town several miles away.

Treetops05 Mon 18-Oct-21 15:57:55

Those are the comments you see a great number of on Spotted pages - as an admin on my town's non-spotted page we block any pleas unless we know the poster to be genuine. In our relatively small town it is easy to keep track. We also check every post but on Spotted sites anyone can post anything. As an admin, I say be cynical, be very cynical sadly

Calendargirl Mon 18-Oct-21 16:17:34

What gets me on the local Facebook page are the same old requests “I know it’s a big ask, but is anyone gifting a freezer, flat screen tv, gas cooker, etc. etc”.

Often wonder if they then appear on another site for sale. It’s the ‘gifting’ that irks me, why don’t they just say “Is anybody giving?”….

Oh, or if it’s a ‘Give For Free’ site, they then go on to ask for donations for ‘my baby daughter’s money box’.

Yeah right, cynical old me.

Nannarose Mon 18-Oct-21 16:20:59

I don't know Spotted either, but would broadly agree that I would ignore such posts.

Freecycle is slightly different - although most of us would like to think that our items are helping people - the prime intention is to keep stuff out of landfill.
I am in a few Freecycle groups (they cross over my area) and the general rule is that unless there is a false sob story, the items are freely gifted. Liars get axed.

I know a few people who take things from FC, refurbish & repair them before selling on. I don't mind that.
That to me is very different from soliciting donations falsely.

MayBee70 Mon 18-Oct-21 16:25:22

Our local spotted page has been very good at finding lost cats. I’ve had cats gone missing several times and it’s been very upsetting. Thankfully a lot of these local cats have turned up elsewhere although, sadly some have been deceased. But even that is better than not knowing what has happened to a dear pet. One of the most cheering things to happen to me over the past 20 months is feeling so happy when someone’s cat turns up safe and well in someone’s garden.

Deedaa Mon 18-Oct-21 16:25:29

I just go with a gut feeling usually, also if a lot of people have donated I feel that I don't need to feel guilty if I don't.

I sent some money to a lady in America who was asking for help with her cat's vet fees. That was some years ago and we've been friends ever since so it works out well sometimes.

GreenGran78 Mon 18-Oct-21 17:43:24

We have a local "trash nothing" where people offer surplus items. Donors are advised to wait for a day or two before choosing who to give to, so that everyone has a fair chance. This stops 'first come, first served' chancers from grabbing and, perhaps selling on numerous items.
People can also put in requests for things that they need. I have helped out a few times, but avoid those who ask for items of a specific make or colour. If you are hard-up you are glad of anything. I also skip ones such as a recent post, with a picture of two grinning young people - one sticking her tongue out - stating that they had just moved into a flat, and needed "everything!" My first thought was "Get a job."

Ali08 Tue 19-Oct-21 06:38:41

BlueBelle

I ve been on FB years and years and never heard of Spotted?
We have local FB groups and we have a helping hands group that run services for those fallen on hard times asking for certain food or baby items and then distributing them
I wouldn’t give to an Anonymous person as they are probably just sold on

I think the closest thing around here - Thanet, Kent - would be Fb Marketplace.
Unless I'm barking up the absolute wrong tree!

Ali08 Tue 19-Oct-21 06:47:24

grandtanteJE65

I keep getting e-mails from people purporting to be African school-teachers whose pupils need books and pencils!

These might well be genuine cases of need, but does anyone seriously believe we would send money off into the blue in response to an e-mail?

So no, if you are being cynical, then so am I.

I wonder where they got your email address from?
If they are a real charity they should be registered, and therefore their badge should be displayed somewhere so you can check them out!
'If in doubt, send nowt'!

nanna8 Tue 19-Oct-21 07:05:57

I only give money to my charities of choice unless it is something sudden like bushfires, floods etc. I remember when they had the big tsunami on Boxing Day in Indonesia we gave a lot of money as did many Australians but we found out later very little had reached those who needed it. That is the issue with a lot of these corrupt regimes and now we tend to only give to those we know are part of the rescue missions .

dragonfly46 Tue 19-Oct-21 07:08:46

I can’t say I have noticed kitty. I mostly see news about badly parked cars or CCTV of attempted robberies.

I know someone was robbed of their shopping recently from their invalid car and people chipped in to replace it which I thought was lovely.

I posted once when I fell off my bike and had to go to hospital to the kind student who took my bike to her home for safekeeping!

Gabrielle56 Tue 19-Oct-21 10:12:22

Please don't be a sap! Anyone begging in this way is fishing for someone gullible enough to fall for an outlandish story! How more ridic. Can these be? " My DS just got run over by train whilst helping disabled child retrieve his 3 legged puppy that fell onto tracks whilst being petted by an old lady who has...blah blah...." Really? Should you have the need to help, help locally with an outfit you're comfortable with, church group/salvation army/ local hospice. Please don't let the spongers fool you. Stay cynical.?

Elusivebutterfly Tue 19-Oct-21 10:21:35

Some people asking for help on my local FB groups seem genuine but a recent one irritated me. He was asking for 50s/60s/70s CDs for his elderly father. I posted that there are a lot of CDs for sale for 50p (sometimes 5 for £1) in local charity shops. I've bought some, they are all good. The poster replied that they weren't suitable. He definitely wanted freebies for himself.

Doodledog Wed 20-Oct-21 08:20:55

I don’t mind people asking for old ‘stuff’, as you never know- someone might be about to have a clear out and throw away old CDs or take a table to the tip.

It’s when people ask for hard cash that it irritates me, and when the same name pops up as ‘first dibs’ every time something’s offered.