Should you serve alcohol at an event when there is an alcoholic present?

I wouldn't mind squash.
The important thing is the occasion.

Phew -squash for adults? Nope.
Are you trying to wind us up kevincharlry? All those drinks are for 12 year olds
I’d definitely offer good alcohol alternatives for adults, different than those for the children

GillT57

I would hate to be offered squash, I am not five.

?
I don't like squash

maddyone
Seriously? I can hardly believe I’ve just read that. People don’t hold a party, soirée, or gathering in order to teach them about life style choices. Or in this case, no choices.

Me neither.
Although I do like a Lilt on a warm, sunny day - about once a year.

kevincharley i would hate the lot. They all have aspartame in them.

I would hate to be offered squash, I am not five.

……I wouldn’t like to be offered squash, particularly as a toast.

Neither would I Doodledog. I’m not a non drinker, but if I held a party and there was going to be a toast, I would offer sparkling apple/grape juice as an alternative. I would use flutes for the alcohol and the non alcoholic alternative.

kevincharley

I'd suggest going alcohol free, as much for the benefit of the drinkers as the alcoholic.
People, in general, are too dependent on alcohol to have a good time.
Instead of offering adult alternatives offer the guests Cream Soda, Dandelion & Burdock, Lilt, Rubicon. I'd put money on them enjoying it!

Seriously? I can hardly believe I’ve just read that. People don’t hold a party, soirée, or gathering in order to teach them about life style choices. Or in this case, no choices.

As a now sober alcoholic I would not choose a non alcoholic version of an alcoholic drink. It would be too much temptation for me, even 10 years down the line.
I think speaking to the person in question is the way to go.

For years I didn't drink, I do not particularly enjoy the taste, no one ever said anything to me to suggest that I might be a recovering alcoholic, nor, with one exception, did anyone try to press me to drink alcohol when I did not want to.

Lol Doodledog probably didn't make myself clear I am an alcoholic in recovery
I have been known to drink...a lot ..buy not for many years

rosie1959

I have found Doodledog that most people have no interest in why I don't drink and have found through many years of experience that if anyone questions me incessantly they may well have a problem
Some try to say go on one won't hurt I advise them the established we are in wouldn't have enough alcohol if I have just one

No, but maybe if you had been known as 'a drinker' it would stand out more if you had orange juice at a family party.

I'm not bothered either way if there is alcohol at a party, but like others have said, as a non-drinker I wouldn't like to be offered squash, particularly for a toast.

Crikey there are some strange attitudes to alcohol on here! Sloppy and judgemental language too with words like "booze". While the OP's question was a sensible one, it is an eye opener, in this day and time, to read that some still do not consider alcoholism as a disease and think that it is either self indulgent, a lack of self control or simply a life style choice. Like the majority of people, I can and do enjoy a glass or two of wine, sometimes 2 or 3 times a week, sometimes not for several weeks.

I have found Doodledog that most people have no interest in why I don't drink and have found through many years of experience that if anyone questions me incessantly they may well have a problem
Some try to say go on one won't hurt I advise them the established we are in wouldn't have enough alcohol if I have just one

I al ways say my husbands only kept me for fifty three years because I don't smoke or drink and never have so I'm very cheap to run!

I don't think that anyone has mentioned the fact that not all people who have issues with alcohol want others to know about it. Even though the term 'alcoholic' is not used in medical circles nowadays, there is still a stigma attached for some people, and if they are struggling with that stigma they may well want to keep it to themselves.

Offering alternatives such as non-alcoholic fizz to have at the toast means that everyone can choose for themselves without anyone being any the wiser. It must be embarrassing for someone who has taken the steps towards getting sober to have to do so in the spotlight, and making an event that would usually include a drink into a teetotal one might risk doing that.

songstress60

They don't have to attend if they have no will power. You can't hold the party just to suit them. Isn't it a lifestyle choice rather than an illness?

Willpower is about as useful with alcoholism as it is with diarrhoea
To anybody that thinks it is a lifestyle choice they are sadly totally misinformed
I suppose in the same way you could say anyone that is suffering from depression is making a lifestyle choice

As with any food or drink, alcohol is no better or worse than any other foodstuff. It entirely depends on how much you consume.

I had a small glass of wine on Thursday and a pint of shandy today. The amount of alcohol I consumed was minute and it acted neither as a tranquillizer nor intoxicant. I simply hadn't consumed enough and I didn't want anymore and refused another glass of wine for just that reason, no form of virtuous abstention or rigid control was required.

Alcohol free. Are our lives so bad that we need Alcohol? We have cigarette free areas it’s time alcohol was given the same press. Evidently if booze was newly introduced now, it would be illegal so time to stand up for your friend. Feel the love.

I am not desperate to drink at all. I am just heartily sick of being told that alcoholics have a disease

No l am not an ignoramus. I have lived with two alcoholics so l do know something about alcoholics. Sure, an alcoholic has a problem: it is THEIR problem for which no one else should have to change their behaviour.

Gabrielle56

This is so very interesting! Those who feel strongly that booze should be allowed by human rights(!) Are getting very aereated at the idea that they be denied their tipple!?! Wonder why? Is it that they feel they actually need alcohol in order to enjoy themselves? Certainly sounds like it! Maybe the problem of excessive drinking is more widespread than some think?

... really? Has anyone mentioned that drinking alcohol is a "human right"?

I've been teetotal for nearly 30 years - I simply don't like the taste of alcohol, but have a large circle of friends who do enjoy a drink... none that I know of drink to excess, they just enjoy a glass of wine or whatever, or a "tipple" at a get together.

If someone is an alcoholic, it's up to them to choose whether or not to attend a gathering at which alcohol is likely to be served - and up to the host to provide alternatives... which most seem to do these days.

It's about choices - one person's misfortune with alcohol should not mean that everyone else has to forgo it. It is not a crime to drink - unless you become a danger or obnoxious, and your snide accusations are just that - snide.

Having been married to an alcoholic, I am afraid they have to accept that drinking is a large part of our social events. I would make them aware that alcohol will be there and give them the option whether they turn up or prefer to stay away.

Get them alcohol free drinks, don’t think it’s fair that everyone else who may enjoy an alcoholic beverage should have to go without to be honest.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'd suggest going alcohol free, as much for the benefit of the drinkers as the alcoholic.
People, in general, are too dependent on alcohol to have a good time.
Instead of offering adult alternatives offer the guests Cream Soda, Dandelion & Burdock, Lilt, Rubicon. I'd put money on them enjoying it!