What would you think if you received this?

Smileless2012 "Who decides they're not decent Hithere? ... here's an idea, perhaps we could have an adult exchange of views and opinions without those being coloured by people's own prejudices."

Brilliant

What puzzles me is that there are some young members who seem to spend a lot of time on Gransnet - I find it hard to understand how they find the time, when they say they are mothers of young children!
As well as working from home, Farmor!

That might have been a been a better title perhaps with allowed to feel.

I sanded and painted a wall today (3 coats), fed 3 children (1 has moved out and 1 pleases himself). I put on a wash, got them all bathed, hung up the wash, cleaned the bathroom and dealt with my autistic daughter who wanted new paint but hates change.

I looked at my phone occasionally, didn't sit on it.

MissAdventure

In my little family, having a baby was a family affair.
Not because anyone insisted on it.
Not because anyone took it upon themselves.
Just because we all loved one another and were excited.
Lucky, I know.

Yes, same with us - our son and DDIL were so excited when their baby arrived and they were so proud that they'd given both sets of parents their first grandchild; no way could they have waited 2 weeks to show off their little one. Which just illustrates that this 2 week isolation doesn't suit everybody and I do realise not every family feel and act like mine. MissAdventure we are lucky indeed.

My parents met each of my children within hours of their birth. All invited. All more then welcome. They then had the privilege of meeting my grandparents over their first few weeks. I loved it all.

I just have this bizarre understanding that everyone works differently. And if someone sets their boundary you either obey it or move on.

Also why is it being assumed that younger people posting here all had terrible childhoods and are unfairly judging based on that?

I actually would have loved my mum to care about and be interested in her grandchildren. I did not have the problem that I needed 2 weeks bonding time and she did not want to be here.

I'd have loved a loving and engaged mum who wanted to be here and support me... I just respect that a lot of new mums now don't want that

That's an unkind way to dismiss the younger gransnet users and a generalisation of us which is wrong and has no relevance to what we are saying here.

But it doesn't matter what is said to older members?
It's fine to generalise about them?

*In my little family, having a baby was a family affair.
Not because anyone insisted on it.
Not because anyone took it upon themselves.
Just because we all loved one another and were excited.
Lucky, I know. smile*

Fairly normal I think!

I know I had a amazing childhood. Couldn't love my parents more. Amazing people. Ten way they would break themselves to do anything for me, my sister and my children leaves me in awe. Couldn't have asked for better.

I'm out.

MissAdventure

But it doesn't matter what is said to older members?
It's fine to generalise about them?

Why do you keep saying these things to me?

Violetsky Also why is it being assumed that younger people posting here *all had terrible childhoods and are unfairly judging based on that?*

Calistemon It's sad that *some younger posters have such prejudiced views of family life due to their own poor experiences growing up in dysfunctional, uncaring families*

The word used was some not all

Calistemon

It's sad that some younger posters have such prejudiced views of family life due to their own poor experiences growing up in dysfunctional, uncaring families.

Of course we know this happens (some family situations I have heard of through work have been distressing and horrifying).

However, to assume that all posters on here who disagree with the wording of a set of rules were such uncaring parents is a leap of pure imagination based on their own experiences.

I think you’ve went too far with this post.

Really uncalled for.

As you weren't tagged in to the post, why are you assuming it's for you?

Madgran77

*Violetsky Also why is it being assumed that younger people posting here all had terrible childhoods and are unfairly judging based on that?*

Calistemon It's sad that *some younger posters have such prejudiced views of family life due to their own poor experiences growing up in dysfunctional, uncaring families*

The word used was some not all

Well that makes it worse of assumption are being made about the some that are known to have had bad childhoods.

3 times lately my childhood has been used against me unfairly when it hasn't influenced my opinions on topics at all.

Well that makes it worse of assumption are being made about the some that are known to have had bad childhoods

There is nothing suggesting which posters who are known to have has bad childhoods are making assumptions though. I don't think the poster has directly related the comment to you specifically Violetsky although apologies if I have missed that. There appear to be a number of posters on this thread who have had bad childhoods.

Of course there are different types of bad childhood. I have never talked about my childhood on GN! Other posters may have chosen not to as well, so who knows what is influencing different posters views.

No the direct one was the other day.

Am over it

No the direct one was the other day

Glad you over it. So, the direct comment was not on this thread and not linked to the comment above about assumptions, or specifically about you.

Point is that this thread isn't about my, or anyone else's bad childhood Madgran and we don't need it mentioned here the same way I wouldn't bring anyone else's personal relationships into this discussion and kept it general.

No the direct one was the other day.

No. It. Was. Not. You've repeated this unfair, and untrue, accusation several times now and evidence has been presented to you, several times, to prove that this was NOT the case. If you insist on repeating these untrue accusations, I'll escalate it to GNHQ so that they can independently assess the posts and can come to an independent decision once and for all. Please, stop making these false allegations.

Chrebacca

Go for it

True! However, people do draw conclusions and opinions from the information given, draw conclusions, identify patterns, and comment. We all do it really, in different situations, not just on line, but perhaps comments are more likely on line as part of discussions

And it is probably best not to assume that those assumptions are directed personally unless very specific.

Anyway, don't want to derail the discussion.

*Anyway, don't want to derail the discussion"

Agreed let's move on and keep things relevant to the discussion

I have no idea what the "direct comment"was or when posted by the way and it appears it may have been another one that wasn't actually direct, like on this thread!

Back to the thread subject now!