What would you think if you received this?

MamaCaz thank you! I know I was lucky.

It doesn't matter what the "rules" are or whether they change after tge birth. The issue is tge rather hurtful way they have been presented to her parents, lumped in with wider family and friends. It is hurtful on the face of it, without any more information about relationships

That final black heart is telling.

I think you are reading too much into that. This is likely a copy and pasted thing from Facebook that she has changed to suit her needs.

What would you think if you received this?

The second word would be 'Off'

Daisymae

I wouldn't have a problem. These are difficult times and a lot of people are totally ignoring the pandemic. These rules are quite sensible. I would have phoned my daughter to discuss and been fully supportive. I'm guessing that the parents were expecting to be overwhelmed with well meaning visits.

That could well be but I think the parents do deserve to have had a different message or phone call than the one sent out to everyone.

I remember the desperation my DD felt at the stream of visitors but she did say the only people she wanted to see were her Mum and Dad (before Covid too)

freedomfromthepast

Calistemon: This was provided in an update from the OP

"My sister spoke to daughter inviting them to stop off on the way back from hospital so that she could meet baby, she was told firmly no, they would not call in, despite my sisters house being en route home."

Ok, got it now!!

Some sensible rules - put across in a very stupid way

I agree, Hetty8

Merlot

Summerlove

^That final black heart is telling.^

I think you are reading too much into that. This is likely a copy and pasted thing from Facebook that she has changed to suit her needs.

That may well be the case Summerlove I'm not really reading anything into it, but its presence at the end of that last silly sentence rather puts the tin hat on it.

If either of my daughters sent this to me I would be very upset and angry. I am a sensible woman and would deeply resent this impersonal message. The mum is being far too
' precious' about her baby ! If she was expecting child care are from me I would be very tempted to send her a list of Grandma rules ie , exactly what I am prepared to do or not do ! In addition perhaps a break down of my fees!!!! I suppose it depends on the relationship between mother and daughter , but my daughters would know better than to behave in this way. Absolutely outrageous!!!

I think we have to accept many new parents are precious these days.

After all, they are the first to have ever procreated.

It must be very stressful to be pregnant through a pandemic and worrying whether to be vaccinated or not. I feel for her and wouldn't want to judge any precautions she is taking to protect herself and her baby.

The message sounds like something straight out of a New
Mommy magazine. They are wanting to be perfect parents for the perfect baby. Unfortunately, they don’t have a clue about the way new baby world actually works. Furthermore, to the best of my knowledge, the perfect baby has not been invented. The only part that sounded realistic was hand washing. I truly believe they will get a big dose of realism after the first few days. I hope your friend can reach a point where she can understand the misdirected mandate and forgive them.

I do agree that on the way home from hospital they want to go straight home and pop into see anyone - including her own Mum ! That is asking too much ! I recognize having a baby during this pandemic must be very stressful , however this is NOT the way to treat your Mum !

Furthermore, to the best of my knowledge, the perfect baby has not been invented

One of mine was perfect, QuoteTxquiltz!

I do not boast but he was, unlike DH and me.
However, he did develop into a fairly normal teenager

There was something like this on a newspaper’s page a couple of weeks ago - almost word for word.

Not something I’d do, but each to their own.

I wish I'd had the courage to write something like that when my children were born. Neither grandmother ever provided any childcare.

merlotgran ??

For those who are saying the message delivery was wrong, did you see this update from the OP? (bold is mine)

"This is in fact my niece writing to her mother, my sister.
My sister spoke to daughter inviting them to stop off on the way back from hospital so that she could meet baby, she was told firmly no, they would not call in, despite my sisters house being en route home. Even if they just stopped the car so that my sister could have a peek. No. She then received this message, and sister phoned daughter again to say 'but I'm your mum......" only to be told that the other grandma didn't have a problem, the answer is still No! I'm deeply annoyed with my niece. The baby is due in 8 weeks"

It seems that the daughter DID, in fact, speak to her mother on the phone. The mother kept pushing about visits and that is when they received the message. Even after receiving the message, the mom called and pushed more.

To those who say the daughter didn't communicate well, I ask what more she could have done?

I think the OP said the other GM didn't have a problem with the message, not about not being able to take a peek at the baby in the car, on the way back from the hospital.

What more could she have done? Well she could have had a more detailed conversation with her mother, saying over the 'phone or face to face what she put in the message.

freedomfromthepast

For those who are saying the message delivery was wrong, did you see this update from the OP? (bold is mine)

"This is in fact my niece writing to her mother, my sister.
My sister spoke to daughter inviting them to stop off on the way back from hospital so that she could meet baby, she was told firmly no, they would not call in, despite my sisters house being en route home. Even if they just stopped the car so that my sister could have a peek. No. She then received this message, and sister phoned daughter again to say 'but I'm your mum......" only to be told that the other grandma didn't have a problem, the answer is still No! I'm deeply annoyed with my niece. The baby is due in 8 weeks"

It seems that the daughter DID, in fact, speak to her mother on the phone. The mother kept pushing about visits and that is when they received the message. Even after receiving the message, the mom called and pushed more.

To those who say the daughter didn't communicate well, I ask what more she could have done?

I think you are probably spot on. The daughter has probably been telling mum what she wants throughout the pregnancy. Now mum has it in writing. The answers no, daughter has tried to make it cute and take the sting out but that doesn't help for people who don't take no for an answer.

VS
I agree with you

I think that your sister needs to just stand back and let things ride. They will be desperate for her help soon enough! - if they have fallen out then things can only get worse - many years of being a grandma ahead.

I think everyone is different ,my Son and his partner stopped at our house on their way home from hospital with their baby.I didn't ask them to or expect it Same son called from the hospital just after his first was born and instructed my daughter and I to get there quick smart...lol We are a very close family though .I saw baby number one when she was half an hour old ,his second 10 years later was two days as I had stayed away to let her family have the chance with it being a first GC for them .Their baby their rules .

We don't really know what communication has taken place prior to the "round robin" note. Daughter may or may not have tried to "make it cute and take the sting out Violetsky, we just don't know really from what we have been told.

On the face of it, the note seems a strange and rather hurtful way to communicate with one's Mum, without further information about relationships.

I hope they can sort it out otherwise things are likely to get even more difficult.

This sort of thing is not unusual to send out these days. Probably still a minority of people do it, but I've heard of it being more common. I don't 'get it' but I suppose at least the requests are clear.

The Covid and no kissing requests are straight forward and, I think, reasonable. The two weeks, yes, I would be disappointed, but that is the choice of the parents to make.

I don't think it's reasonable to expect someone to stop by on the way home from a hospital. I'm sure someone can wait two weeks to take a peek.

It does look like there might be a reason the parents have had to lay it out clearly. I don't generally like the tone of these mail outs when I've seen them online but, on the positive side, the expectations are very clear and easy to follow.