How judgmental are you about people.

Disclaimer I have severe brain fog due to being poorly

In real life I am laid back with many many friends of all political persuasions, pro and anti Brexit, different religions etc. etc.

On GN the written word, without face recognition and body language is easily misinterpreted.

I try very hard not to judge people by appearance or differing views however I am woefully intolerant of racism, sexism, cruelty of any kind and out right rudeness.

Some posts particularly on Politics and Corona Virus threads are often attacking the poster as opposed to questioning/debating the posters views.

As for judging folks for the Newspaper they read, I find that hilarious (just off upstairs to watch Channel 5 Christmas film, feel free to judge me if you wish ??)

In my opinion, if I am allowed one, there is a difference between disagreeing with someone’s views and being judgmental about that person. Surely being judgmental means openly condemning someone for their opinions or choices?

Naturally, opinions differ. We can respect others as individuals without necessarily agreeing with them, or being their friend. (in real life ). We might disagree with them, and say why, or we might let it pass, perhaps because we are aware that this person’s circumstances have clouded their judgment or made them unable to see clearly, or maybe they are quite simply in pain.
One of the first things I learnt when I joined Citizens Advice was not to be judgmental. We are there for our clients, no matter what their background.
It doesn’t mean we agree with all their opinions or life choices. If a client is being discriminatory eg racist, sexist, ageist, we do counteract such views as being unacceptable.

I’m fairly judgemental, I think. It’s a narrow line between being judgemental and merely having a strong opinion.

(The newspaper people read does tell you a great deal about them ?.)

Good idea.
Glad you have your priorities right.

I'll tell him, but after he's got my lunch otherwise I might have to make my own.

Yes, unless he pretends he just found it on a park bench and idly looked through it.

MerylStreep

Being judgemental is in our DNA. It goes back to early man: survival. Ie. Is he part of our tribe, no, then he must be another therefore our enemy.
Not much we can do about it really ?

Clans (I don't mean that in the Scottish sense, rather in the tribal sense).

I forgot to ask - should I LTB because he buys the Saturday DM?

Gwyneth

pantglas2 yes it is and the Weekend Magazine for the TV is definitely the best one!

DH feels quite lost if he doesn't get the Weekend Magazine on Saturdays.
He flicks through the rest of the paper then settles down to do the crossword.

It is hard to respect any opinions that does not equate with our own.
However, I do believe that everyone has a right to their opinion.

We have laws in the UK regarding any kind of hate speech.
If it is within the law then so be it.

I presume that our newspapers which some believe to be racist, xenophobic etc etc are not the only publications in Europe and beyond with a similar ideology.

MaizieD

FannyCornforth

I haven’t read the full thread, but I will say that the only people that I tend to be judgemental of, are those types who are lazy and small minded enough to believe that they can judge others upon something so trivial and fleeting as their choice of flipping newspaper.


(Apologies for the stupidly long sentence )

Where do you think people get their 'opinions' from, then FannyC?

The one thing you can be sure of is that opinions don't just materialise out of thin air.

Usually more than one source, surely?

Me neither.
Especially if they wear leggings whilst doing so.

I have no respect for people who buy nasty cheap sausages.

kircubbin2000

It's interesting in real life too to see how other people have judged something or someone in a completely different way.For example I know 2 people who have been very bitchy and selfish. I have judged that and do not want to befriend them whereas my friend thinks they have gone through troubles and do need support.

How true.
My dearest friend can be so spiteful about people. I’ve learnt now that that means she has a problem with her husband.
It took me a while to join up the dots but when I did it made life a little easier.

Who loves their grandchildren the most..

To Doodledog's post from 12:24:

Of course not Doodledog, a peer reviewed analysis of everything isn’t the answer. But I’m thinking more about the people who end up down rabbit holes, following trails of people who misrepresent things for their own ends; all the people with websites and publications in dodgy journals telling us that more CO2 is good for the planet or that thousands of people have died from the vaccines. Have other views, of course, but there are things that do need to be refuted and being “open minded” isn’t a valid response there.

“yes but…” is fine. “The government are trying to kill us!” and “Global warming is a hoax!” are not.

Competitive cleaning …..

Then there's grammar, leggings, accents, parsing verbs (or whatever they are!)
Washing (of self or clothing/towels)
Supermarket choice.
Net curtains.
Smoking.
Being on benefits.

I think we all judge each other all the time based on 101 tiny cues from style of dress, turn of phrase and many other things. Add choice of reading material and we're really motoring!

Caleo

Only someone with a specific learning disability never judges others' behaviour.

Which SLD Caleo? In some cases someone with an SLD doesn’t realise they are judging others’ behaviour.

Alegrias1

25Avalon

The point I was making Alegrias was that people do believe things without checking for themselves.

Yes, I agree 25Avalon.

But you did say that they might have done a lot of research before believing night is day. Which only goes to show that what a lot people call "research" is just looking things up on the internet without understanding the context, or the bias of the authors.

This can be true (that there are those who believe that 'research' is simply reading the first hit on Google), and I don't think there is anything wrong with asking someone why they feel as they do; but I don't think it is remotely reasonable to expect people to do a peer reviewed investigation of everything they perceive as fact before they form an opinion either. There would be no time to walk the dog or cook the dinner if that were the case, and sites like Gransnet would soon run out of threads.

I do think, however, that we should all be more open to the idea that 'facts' are rarely immutable, and not just shut down the ones that don't align with our own perceptions of the truth. That's how fundamentalism and (potentially) extremist behaviour takes hold. To me, a sign of open-mindedness, and (dare I say it, intelligence), is when a person has the willingness to at least listen to someone saying, 'yes but . . . ' and questioning something they have previously accepted as fact.

To some extent, kittylester, I'd say I was fairly tolerant in real life. As a teacher and school manager (deputy head) I had to be or a least come across that way. Away from work and now retired, I know I am less tolerant, particularly on GN, when I see comments from those that can't/won't listen to other's views.

Reading the posts here, perhaps comments are overlapping with another thread "do you believe...". I am intolerant of those who don't put forward their beliefs in a reasoned way and then show little respect for others who attempt to discuss it.

I agree with dragonfly46. GN is difficult because comments can be misinterpreted and some jump in with both feet without seemingly thinking first. However, it is rewarding to see that some do apologise for their sudden intolerant outburst. ?

In my old age, I don't like arguments and upsets in real life and my strategy with GN now is to not read certain forums and/or beware of intolerant posters.

What specific learning disability is that Caleo?

Only someone with a specific learning disability never judges others' behaviour.