Pushed away by 9 year old grandson

Totally normal. At 9 he is growing up and doesn't want to be "babied" (as he perceives it). He just wanted a bit of space to calm down.

A quick "are you OK?" would have been fine but chasing him from room to room and forcing him to accept physical contact that he didn't want was not a sensible idea. Making it all about your own feelings of wanting to impose "comfort" is a huge overreaction.

Yes, like Callistemon says, he needs to have it cauterised. When my son was growing up he had regular nosebleeds. Had it cauterised ......problem solved

I think he may have just been embarrassed, I think children come out of such episodes in their own time and when they are over it, move on quickly to whatever is happening next.

crazyH

Yes, like Callistemon says, he needs to have it cauterised. When my son was growing up he had regular nosebleeds. Had it cauterised ......problem solved

My DD too.
At least, I hope it solved it, she hasn't said it is still a problem.

Why did you keep following him, he had made it clear he wanted to be alone. He probably wanted to cry without being seen.

You said that he is at the age that he doesn't want to be cuddled, so not at all surprised at his reaction.
He maybe wanted to have a little cry and you following him around was not allowing him to do that! He's not rejecting you really, just the way that some boys are. Maybe it would have been better if hid grandpa had been the one to follow and apologise!

Just treat him normally. If he wants a hug, he'll come to you. He probably wanted to conceal his tears, if any. If anyone has to apologise, it's Grandad who accidentally 'biffed' him on the nose. Boys! Do they ever grow up?

It was an accident. He gets nosebleeds anyway. I get nosebleeds due to a condition I have. I still get embarrassed around other people. Even though they all know I have them, and I’m 62!!

Don’t make any more of it...and don’t worry. Nine year old boys won’t want fuss at the best of times. Us ‘ bleeders’ have to be careful of being knocked. He’ll learn to cope, don’t worry.

Hopefully at some point, he’ll grow out of it, and if he doesn’t, he’ll get a diagnosis I’m sure.

All the best

He's nine.

I hesitate a little bit to suggest he is getting to an age when he should stop play fights with grandad but from experience I know that grandad can be the one to get hurt in a very funny place!! Don't worry too much he was in pain and suffering from shock, he will forget about it you won't, all normal.

As long as your husband talks to him and says he’s sorry that he accidentally hurt him it will be fine. When our grandson was about nine he went through a phase where he would get upset about what seemed to us a trivial matter but was clearly not to him and would go off in another room. We learnt to just leave him until he joined us again and that was when we gave him a hug.

if i had been pushed away i would have gone to the bathroom and got some toilet paper and went into the room he was in, said i have left this if your nose is bleeding and tell him to comeback when he is ready. most of us when we get upset is to say leave me alone, i do that, you will have to learn not to be so sensitive.

nexus63

if i had been pushed away i would have gone to the bathroom and got some toilet paper and went into the room he was in, said i have left this if your nose is bleeding and tell him to comeback when he is ready. most of us when we get upset is to say leave me alone, i do that, you will have to learn not to be so sensitive.

Also not to be so insensitive when other people want to be left alone.

Thank you so much for reassuring me.

Yes thanks and I'm sure you are right re my chasing him from room to room.

Yes, he 's had his nose cauterised but did not make too much difference I'm afraid.

I'm new here and do not think I am replying properly as all my replies seem to be linked together rather than underneath the person' s comments that I am responding to.

I kept following him because I was concerned about him but afterwards given how he reacted , I regretted that I had done so.I do not hold out myself to be anywhere near perfect and I just did what I thought was right at the time. That's all.

harihot You're doing fine, both as a grandmother and in your replies.

Gransnet isn't at all sophisticated enough that we can respond to people without pressing the "quote" button and replicating what someone has said, then responding.
It's a bit of a palava, really.

harihot

Yes, he 's had his nose cauterised but did not make too much difference I'm afraid.

That's a pity.
Sometimes children who have hay fever get nosebleeds, I think it's the pressure. Of course, it's the wrong season for that.

My DD2 used to have a lot of nosebleeds - she shoved a cocktail stick up her nose when a toddler

She didn't have treatment but gradually grew out of the worst of it - perhaps one a year when she has a heavy cold

My youngest child is just like this. It started around the same age too. When she gets hurt, she doesn't want anyone near her, prefers to be alone.

I say totally normal behavior for someone on the cusp of almost being an older kids and still being a child.

OHG, I remember the bloody pillows when my daughter had a nose bleed, talk about chain saw massacre! Her teachers were terrified when she had a nosebleed at school, with the snot mixing in with the blood, it looked as if her brains were coming out! Sorry if that’s too much information!

Luckily cauterisation at aged 14 sorted it out, as stress caused the bleeds, we had to get it sorted before her GCSE’s.

My eldest had a cream prescribed I think it was called naspirin (?) and a wee tiny bit of that on her pinky and up her nostril seemed to prevent the frequency of nosebleeds. She still gets them when her nose is knocked, but it did make a difference to the ones she got without any sort of accident.

I think it's called Naseptin.

I used to get nosebleeds when I was a child. I still remember them putting a cold key down the back of my neck at nursery. (It didn't work.) Sometimes one would start when I was riding my bike.

A specialist told the mum of a child with persistent nosebleeds that most are caused by picking your nose.



Mum was not very impressed.