Piggy in the middle[again]

I despair of kids nowadays! Overgrown tantrum chucking eejits! I'd have a very firm reply "tell them yourself!!" Cheek. They certainly know how to press our buttons! Knowing that we want to keep the peace we allow them to behave in the most appalling manner, anyone else would get the bums rush! I truly hope you resolve this to yours and the dear Olds benefits. Happy Christmas darling!

I bet they will expect to be left some goodies in everyone's wills ? I'd disappoint them I'm afraid they're just twerps it's not the protection of the kids that's daft , it's the lack of maturity in dealing with this

Mummer

I despair of kids nowadays! Overgrown tantrum chucking eejits! I'd have a very firm reply "tell them yourself!!" Cheek. They certainly know how to press our buttons! Knowing that we want to keep the peace we allow them to behave in the most appalling manner, anyone else would get the bums rush! I truly hope you resolve this to yours and the dear Olds benefits. Happy Christmas darling!

I agree that he should tell them himself, however he seems to imply that he won’t soften the blow the way his mother would, then she’d get the anger from her parents that way.

The only people chucking tantrums here seem to be OPs parents who won’t take well to being told “no”.

For a group who gets so up in arms when a grandparent can’t see a grand child, I’m shocked by the lack of care about these childrens health,

There is more to health than physically locking yourself away from every risk in life.
That seems an unhealthy model for the children.

It shouldn’t be your concern. Your son should deal with them himself. He has every right though, to restrict as he sees fit, and everyone should respect this.

Just read your parents aren’t vaccinated. They clearly have no regard for others, no matter how lovely your childhood was.

It’s a no brainier for me. I wouldn’t see them at all....not just Christmas.

Sorry...are you all vaccinated? I don’t read other replies until after I’ve given mine, so as not to be influenced. My apologies if I jumped the ‘ vaccination’ gun.

They are all triple jabbed, joanna said.

MissAdventure

There is more to health than physically locking yourself away from every risk in life.
That seems an unhealthy model for the children.

Perhaps, however we can’t expect everyone to conform to our expectations on what they should do.
Just as those who go galavanting about want respect, those who are cautious deserve it.

No one is saying the grandparents shouldn’t do what they want, so why are the sons decisions less important? Because he’s younger?

No matter the age, unvaccinated people are more at risk of catching covid. Why do people seem to think children are immune? It’s children who are the highest case numbers where I am.

I don’t see how giving them extra exposures is safe or loving.

If it were the grandparents who were vulnerable everybody would be saying to stay away and keep them safe. Why is it not the same for children?

I suspect Joanna has probably spoken to her parents. She knows her family dynamics and we don’t, and though most feel her son should have told his grandparents himself, I hope if she did it wasn’t as bad as she feared.

Summerlove people are trying, generally, to still see their families, within the acceptable things that they need to set boundaries against.

I think most people now are aware that we can't hold back the tide indefinitely.

I don't think it's a young vs old issue.

By the sounds of it, your DS must surely be isolating the children from everything and everyone otherwise how can they possibly protect them from the virus. You are allowed to childmind which makes DSs view of your parents ridiculous unless of course you have no contact with anyone whatsoever. Even though fully vaccinated with booster you can still get Covid. And don't we all know children are great transmitters of the virus yet show no symptoms. Think I'd be having Christmas with DPs and leave DS to have his Christmas in his isolation. I'd also be questioning why you are allowed to childmind if you have contact with any other person out there.

MissAdventure

Summerlove people are trying, generally, to still see their families, within the acceptable things that they need to set boundaries against.

I think most people now are aware that we can't hold back the tide indefinitely.

I don't think it's a young vs old issue.

Exactly. The sone has set boundaries on how he can see his family. No one is being cut out.

So why are people so against the boundaries that he finds acceptable? To the point of mocking his family?

This may be of interest. After two jabs a very close family member had a blood test which showed no covid antibodies. We remain cautious.

Because they are having the op for childcare, and presumably she comes into contact with others, who may not be jabbed at all.
Because they send the child to nursery, amongst all those other people.
Their boundaries don't seem to make sense.
But as you say, his choice.

Wow!
Covid is the danger and Covid is the enemy to everyone on the planet.
People are stressed by what's been going on and people have different views, but let's not encourage each other to view our family members as the enemy!
Joanna12 sounds like a reasonable, loving daughter, parent and grandparent and just asked for some advice.
It's not really our place to say the children's parents are overreacting and obsessed.
Covid is now among the top ten causes of death in children and Joanna's four-year-old grandchild may have a compromised immune system. Children and young people with no apparent co-morbidities have died.
The parents have the right to decide what they are comfortable with to protect their children.
There is a lot of confusion about risk, but I'm absolutely sure the great grandparents would not want to make the children ill. If they do go into a huff, that's their decision and not a good enough reason to risk the health of the youngest in the family. There is always the option of "seeing" them on Zoom, Whatsapp or whatever..... although it's obviously not the same.
Hopefully Joanna has explained/agreed a compromise with her parents and they will all be able to meet up properly in a more relaxed and safe way, come the spring.

I can't really understand some of the replies.

People get to choose who they want to spend special days with, with or without Covid

We do not know how the son gets along with the GPs and what kind of GPs were with him

With his son so sick at only 2 years old, every xmas is super special for the parents. Every xmas could be our last.
The lack of sympathy for what son and wife went through is very much present on the thread.

OP's parents are in late 70s and early 80s, they have had decades of xmas holidays and adjusting to what his gc (the son) wants is not such a huge compromise.
Yes, it is cold, its December in the UK! Did you expect the son to be able to modify that for the comfort of OP's parents?
The grandparents are used to getting their way and they do not like to be told no. That is the problem

So why are people so against the boundaries that he finds acceptable? To the point of mocking his family?

Perhaps because when he says 'Jump' everyone asks how high?

It seems strange that he's happy for his parents to babysit while he and his wife go to work.
I can understand caution as their older child was so poorly but they don't sound overly cautious themselves and are happy to use the OP as a childminder.
Some so-called Covid babies are becoming fearful of others because of lack of socialising, it is a problem.
But how many under 5s have died of Covid?

If he doesn't want to see his grandparents that is up to him and up to him to tell them not rely on his mother to sort all his problems for him.

He's old enough to work, have a family so old enough to use some diplomacy and tell them himself.

Enjoy your birthday, joanna and let them sort themselves out. See your parents if you want to, your Mum may be getting upset by all this that's why she is a bit difficult.
??

I'm afraid we'll have to agree to differ.
I'm certainly not here to justify the OP's son or her parents.
I don't know why some of you get so insenced by others' opinions.

MissAdventure

I'm afraid we'll have to agree to differ.
I'm certainly not here to justify the OP's son or her parents.
I don't know why some of you get so insenced by others' opinions.

He just needs to put on his big boy pants!
Stop relying on Mummy to do things he doesn't want to do.

I agree.

*He just needs to put on his big boy pants!
Stop relying on Mummy to do things he doesn't want to do*

But did he even invite them in the first place?

If he did, then yes, he should let them know they are no longer invited.

But it seems to me that he didn’t invite them, that they have just assumed they are invited and have communicated this via the OP, rather than contacting their grandson directly.

So perhaps his grandparents should have ran it past their grandson in the first place.

Perhaps the OP could clarify?

I don't like this at all. Firstly your son and DIL are completely overreacting. Isn't it your parents who should be feeling more 'vulnerable', if anyone?

It sounds like you see your GC often, but it's your parents who are elderly and who knows what's around the corner or how many Christmases they have left to share with you.

I'd do a lovely lunch for you and your parents, and you see your GC, another day. People get FAR too strung up over Christmas, it's just like any other Sunday roast dinner lunch, only with presents. There's so much pressure on everyone, it's mentally draining.

Other than that, to be honest I'd just say you are having a 'quiet one' and stop at home with your OH.

I feel sad for you that you are shouldering all this, it's not your responsibility
to tell your parents, about your son's decisions, it's HIS choice. Let him tell them

I take the op to mean that grandparents were invited, until the latest update.
Her son then changed his mind.