Piggy in the middle[again]

This is your son's decision about his interaction with his grandparents. He has to sort it out.

Sorry but I'm with your son on this. They nearly lost a child 2 years ago, covid rates are soaring, people are being told not to mix if they can and your parents want to visit. Sounds like your parents are not so careful so son is right though he should message them and tell them.

I don’t think the responsibility of this message is yours. Let’s your son talk to his grandparents , explain and take responsibility. Hope it works out ok

It’s not clear, but if the son has rescinded an invitation then, of course, he should deliver the message himself.

If the OP has passed the message on, on behalf of her parents, then I can see why the son has said no mum they can’t come. If the OP is sick of being in the middle, then she needs to stop putting herself in the middle by passing on messages from her parents.

If the grandparents in this scenario had said they were not comfortable about mixing over Christmas because of Omicron, then I would completely understand and wouldn’t judge them for it at all.

Therefore, I cannot judge the son for making the same decision.

I think its down to your son to say nicely to hes grandparents as Covid restrictions are what they are its best they dont visit,as hes the one who doesnt want them there.

People get FAR too strung up over Christmas, it's just like any other Sunday roast dinner lunch, only with presents

And bread sauce, don't forget that!!

Yes, there is a way of putting it nicely, nannyof4

If the son has a problem doing so because it may sound aggressive coming from him, as joanna says, then he needs to address this and sort out why.

Calistemon

Yes, there is a way of putting it nicely, nannyof4

If the son has a problem doing so because it may sound aggressive coming from him, as joanna says, then he needs to address this and sort out why.

A poor choice of word from the OP, I think. She said:

Hi thanks all.it has been decided I will tell my parents later that they will have to do another Xmas on the doorstep,as my son thinks it may sound a bit agressive coming from them when they don't have much contact outside visits so building myself up for it later.

She clearly meant that her son doesn’t feel comfortable enough telling them no and it may come off as harsh given they don’t have much of a relationship.

I don’t think for a minute she was implying her son is aggressive.

He needs to learn to express himself without it sounding a bit aggressive.

We don't have much of a relationship with many people we may have to deal with in life and need to learn how to deal with them without it coming across in the wrong way.

I would ask why he doesn't have much of a relationship with his grandparents who clearly really want to see him and their great-grandchildren.

Omg you’re not going to see your parents for Christmas cos your child is using you to babysit. How could you. He and his wife are selfish twats. Tell him you are spending Christmas with your parents, afterwards you’ll wait 7 days to ensure your are covid free before you resume childcare duties. You shouldn’t tell your parents his decision, he should do it. Don’t make yourself a martyr by telling your parents.

Just like to say that being double vaccinated doesn't stop you catching and spreading covid. I personally know of 7 people who have caught covid after being double vaccinated. Not Omicron but Delta and earlier varients. One sadly died from it
So I think your son is sensible sorry.

alig99 that’s a bit strong. I don’t think op wants to hear such strong words about her ds. She is a good mum looking after her grand babies and the son is understandably anxious of his children due to one’s near death experience. The ops parents sound like hard work (as were my in-laws) and poor op is trying to be everything to everyone like most women.
I think she just needs to explain that to her son and kindly ask as it is causing her much anxiety to take on that task, not because he has to, but because it would be a kindness and a favour to his mum.

I think DillytheGardener is talking a lot of sense on this thread.

They saw the children 6 weeks ago in the kitchen & son & did went upstairs? Are son & dil vaccinated? Your son should definitely be the one to tell them, suggesting an alternative to not sound aggressive.

My parents are here, my daughter didn't come as planned as she tested positive on Christmas Eve & I am lying here, isolating upstairs on my b'day as I tested positive last night. Barely any symptoms any of us & we only know because of testing. This is real and oddly random as the two vulnerable ones are ok (as well as parents in their 80's) All the children are oblivious & fine. Stay safe, take hottie bottles if you can't get heater, protect NHS workers & plan Easter would be my advice. Son is taking calculated risks by having you child mind, that's up to him but he needs to speak to his grandparents himself imho

Probably a bit late now, but is there any chance you could invite the whole lot - your parents and your children to your house, perhaps for New Year? Then each family can decide if they want to come. Of course you tell them both who you are having at your party, then it is up to them to decide if they can't come because grandparents/grandchildren will be there. Extra catering for you, but a way to bring the generations together.