Estranged step daughter making contact

I was coming on here to post just as Nonogran has - perhaps having her own children is bringing old wounds or curiosities to the surface. Good luck - it might bring lovely new relationships your way eventually

Good on you Shodg for taking the advice you asked for on board be the big person and support them in this if it goes well you may have a new and happy relationship if they don’t go well you ll be important to pick up the pieces
?

Her mother could have fed her so many lies over the years. Not saying she did, but I've often heard that from children estranged from parents that the one at home blamed the one who left for everything!
She could have grown up thinking her dad walked out on her, when in reality he left the wife for whatever reason, or she left him!
The mothers family could have had their say, too, as often happens.
Maybe she would just like a one on one to see how she's received, and she may become friendly to you after awhile!
But, I get the impression that YOU'RE going to be the problem not her and I'm sorry if I'm wrong.
Give the lass a chance, if not for her then for your husband who must have missed her so much over the years!!!

My ex BIL walked out on his young children,even told them he wouldn't see them again becuase his new partner was pregnant with twins!! I know that even though they are now adults they missed their dad and wondered what THEY had done wrong .Sadly he died in his 50's so they never saw him again.
Let this young woman meet her dad ,Your son has had his father all his life dont deny her the dad she might think you took away from her .Show her you're happy for them to have the relationship they should have had ,or are you worried about your childs inheritance?

The relationship is initially between your husband and his daughter; she asked to meet him, and it is not your sister-in-law's place to intervene and involve you. You say you have met her six times, so there must have been some contact.
No doubt the daughter has been prompted by your husband's ill-health and nothing wrong with that; only to the good if they can be reconciled. You say you suspect her motives, insinuating some possibly financial claim on your husband, which is only fair.
To be honest, I suspect your motives.

If you feel that strongly then stay away from your husbands daughter and don’t let your feelings interfere with his relationship with her.

She obviously went through the SIL because she knew what your reaction would be, so don’t blame the SIL.

I hope he is able to get to know his Grandchildren.

I think is lovely that this young woman has pherself out so much to start a renewed relationship with her bio logical father. Seems to me she has gone about very correctly, knowing her father' health to ask her Aunt to arrange that
meeting. No idea as to why the OP feels such anger. Surely, she has no feeling of insecurity in her relationship with her husband ,etc.
Personally, I would so happy to give full support to this meeting, and so look forward to meeting some step-grand children.

I am really struggling to see what you are so bothered about.
Surely it’s good news for your husband that his daughter has made contact and would like to meet him?
Yes she might have an agenda but on the other hand it could just purely and simply be that she wants to reconnect with her father.

Unless you know something about her that you haven’t mentioned, your animosity towards her does seem rather strange.

JenniferEccles

I am really struggling to see what you are so bothered about.
Surely it’s good news for your husband that his daughter has made contact and would like to meet him?
Yes she might have an agenda but on the other hand it could just purely and simply be that she wants to reconnect with her father.

Unless you know something about her that you haven’t mentioned, your animosity towards her does seem rather strange.

Her husband’s just had heart surgery. She’s understandably worried I would think.

Of course it’s lovely his daughter wants to see him, but no one can know her agenda for sure. If he was fit and well, it wouldn’t matter, but he isn’t.

I would be worried, and would want to wait a few months.