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How to say "No"

(83 Posts)
PollyDolly Thu 03-Mar-22 12:01:20

How do I say "No" to family who have sort of invited themselves to stay with us at Christmas?
I don't want to sound mean spirited but we had them to stay a few years ago and they really took us for granted. They are my OH family and he is such a soft touch.

Cabbie21 Sat 02-Apr-22 12:21:03

Old thread by now, but it would be nice to hear from the OP how she has handled it. Or did I miss that?

MawtheMerrier Sat 02-Apr-22 12:26:39

Not THAT old Cabbie - 3 March 22?
I’d just say either I am not making plans yet, or I have made plans to go away as the last two Christmases you couldn’t go away.

TheodoraP Sun 03-Apr-22 09:47:07

When you say your husband is a soft touch do you mean kind and caring

If, take you for granted you mean they are un grateful, what makes you say that what are they doing that makes you feel that you are being taken for granted

Sounds to me that you are just not keen on your husbands family

This is a bit if a soar point for me because I have seen your behaviour in my own family whereby the daughter in ka
is very welcoming to Her family but has no time for her husbands family even leaving them out of major photos

It's mean

They obviously like to spend time with your husband he sounds like a very nice person

Open your heart a little more, when you give to others don't always expect something back

Witzend Sun 03-Apr-22 11:45:56

Callistemon21

Oh, not a C thread already!

Please feel free to go and lie down in a darkened room, Callistemon, but I recently embarked on a 5th N-word set, eventually destined for the raffle at Gdcs’ You-Know-What school fair. ?
Or maybe ? would be more appropriate!

Callistemon21 Sun 03-Apr-22 12:13:02

I've decided the only way to finish mine is to take it to the craft group Witzend , it's much easier to transport than the blanket I'm working on (as well as a snowman!).

Audi10 Sun 03-Apr-22 12:20:15

Oh wow this must be worrying you as we are only in April! I would tell them sorry we have other plans this year so the answer is no

Shelflife Sun 03-Apr-22 13:01:55

In your situation I would tell the truth. Let them know you are getting older and your energy levels are not as high as they were. That way if they have an ounce of common sense they won't ask again! If you make any other excuse you lay yourselves open to them inviting themselves again and again!!
I find it unbelievable that anyone is capable of tying you down to a commitment in April to entertain them at Christmas!!!! Having guests is very hard work and absolutely fine occasionally if you are happy about it, clearly you are not , so nip this in the bud now before you regret it . IMO I think they are well and truly pushing their luck - Most people would not dream of landing themselves on others in this way. Just explain it is now too much for you and arrange a meal out somewhere with them . Have an very happy and stress-free Christmas when it arrives - go for it and good luck!