travelsafar
I understand how this lady feels. None of us want to be a burden to our children or anyone else to come to that. I am missing my husband very much, both emotionally and for his practical help. I had a cataract op and cant drive until i have had my eyes tested in May and get new lenses in my specs. It is so hard trying to manage without the use of the car. I cant go to the gym, do my vountary work or go to a social group i attend. The biggest thing is going shopping. I have people who offer but i dont like to be a burden to them. Today i managed to get to the end of my road and catch the bus into town and go to the supermarket for a few urgent bits i needed. The struggle to get back to the bus stop was awful and i got on the bus eventually so relieved to sit down. Online shopping is no good for me as i dont order enough. I have a dental appoinmtent on Friday so have booked a taxi to take me there. If hubbie was here i would have no worries he would have driven me. Being in this situation has told me how things may be in the future when i cant drive any longer. It has also made me think of the many people who are in this position with no end in sight. At least i know in May i will be able to drive again. We all value our independence and i havent told my children how i am struggling. It has also bought back the loss of my DH , and taken away all the progress i had made since he died. I find myself crying and longing for him. I miss his arms giving me a hug and him telling me everything will be alright. I even miss his grumpy moods when i could have quite cheerfully throttled him. Being in this situation because of my mobility issues has made me think about HR which i should be having later this year, i am really starting to worry about the recovery period and being on my own. Sorry if i have gone off track from the OP but it all just came tumbling out!!!!!
Many many widows and widowers have hip replacements and get over them while living alone. There should be pre op assessment when you can raise these concerns with the team. I used to be part of the pre op support in my area. have you looked at small shop ordering in your area? it might cost a bit more but some of the takeaway delivery firms will also deliver groceries....you can also bulk an order with things to make the amount. I live alone and will buy say a lot of loo rolls on one order and a big pack of laundry detergent the next time. If you don't know which small shops deliver local to you then ask on your local facebook page. You don't have to pour your heart out to your family but you might try asking for a little practical help if they live close enough and you have that sort of relationship. I speak from experience, lost my own husband 10 years ago. I have no kids, its me or nothing!
