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What would you do if you were given a gift by your child who won't chat on the phone or see you IRL?

(27 Posts)
OnwardandUpward Sun 03-Apr-22 21:10:57

If you were given a gift would you send one back if the sender was giving you the silent treatment most of the time, only answered selected messages and didn't pick up when you rang them?

What would you do?
My son who lives locally sent us a lovely gift for Easter, but we haven't seen him for a few months. Question is, should I ask why and risk straining things further or just send an expensive Easter gift back and give up hope of seeing them?

My husband says not to send a fancy gift back because we'd already bought eggs and such intending to gift them when we saw them... but then I think not returning a gift is rude? He says presence is more important and that I should tell them that- and I want to but am worried about putting too much pressure on.

It doesn't make sense because in messages he has shown more interest than usual in other members of the family- he's just very distant about his own family and won't even discuss his kids for some reason. I do miss them and don't want to make things worse. Some people have suggested head games. He may be playing head games, but I don't know why he would- or he may be struggling in some way?

I appreciate any thoughts or ideas. The last time we saw him everything seemed positive and we had a good time together. It doesn't make sense.

OnwardandUpward Sun 03-Apr-22 23:25:10

Yes, I remember those full days of tiring children, juggling work and everything. These days we still juggle work and everything, but we attempt to meet the needs of elderly parents instead of children. It's so depressing looking after elderly parents and realising life only goes one way.

There hasn't been any type of falling out. But some people have said that it must have happened or he would be talking to me. I appreciate having a balanced view on it.

I did say thanks and will try to send them good thoughts and be mindful of the fact that they are probably struggling with little ones and work as much as we are struggling with older ones and work.
Thanks for the input. Not everything is about us, is it.