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How old are you?

(215 Posts)
LaCrepescule Wed 13-Apr-22 06:29:22

I’m 64 and really struggling with the concept of ageing and death. I literally lie awake ruminating about how quickly the years fly and it makes me so sad to think of losing my loved ones and having to say goodbye to them. Please tell me how old you are and whether these things bother you too or how you just get on and live your life!

mrsgreenfingers56 Thu 14-Apr-22 13:56:23

I am 65 and this is a very interesting post. I also worry at night time about getting old and being able to manage and glad I am not the only one who thinks this. Breast cancer survivor but do worry at times about if coming back.
Am currently very healthy and cycle and go fell walking and do lots on the garden and have lots of hobbies and interests.
Appreciate what I have and the country I live in and grateful for so much.

Nanascats Thu 14-Apr-22 13:57:55

I'm 80 this year and even writing that number doesn't seem like me, until I look in the mirror!! In the 2 years I have lost quite a few friends including my brother and last week one of my dearest friends. At my age I can only expect that to happen. I don't worry about dying but would love to see my GCs growing up as I was an older GM. I was 68 when my first GD was born and she is 12 this year. Have organised most things so that my DD and DS will not have too
many things to be bothered with, hopefully. Try not to be overly concerned as age comes to us all but perhaps you should seek some medical/therapy advice if it is having such a worrying time for you.

crazygranny Thu 14-Apr-22 13:58:17

I have listened to a lovely series of programmes on the BBC world service called Words of Wisdom which look at issues like this - very comforting.

Kryptonite Thu 14-Apr-22 14:03:56

Happy birthday Grandmagrewit! Please treat yourself, you deserve it. And to your mother, Twig14. It is definitely something to be celebrated. ????

Audi10 Thu 14-Apr-22 14:05:54

Mid sixties chronic health conditions ! My mindset is take each day as it comes, I’m not going to be worrying about how much time I’ve got left, pointless! I’m not afraid of dying at all, it’s the people you leave behind! I’m very positive person and live my life as best I can, the way you think can affect your body and mind! Luckily I don’t suffer from health anxiety so I’m lucky in that way!

Willow65 Thu 14-Apr-22 14:06:11

My daughter died aged 28. She spent the last 8 months of her life, after her diagnosis, making special memories with me and her two sisters. She was amazing and brave and her only worry was how we would all cope without her. That was 9 years ago. Since that terrible time we have all got married (even me!) and I now have 4 adorable grandchildren. Each day is precious and we all live life to the full. My daughter always said that growing old was a privilege ?

Musicgirl Thu 14-Apr-22 14:06:32

We’re a wide range of ages, aren’t we? I’m 57 and my husband is nearly 64. We have only one parent between us - my mother, who was 80 recently. I think the last two years have really played havoc with many of us. I am generally healthy and love my work as a self-employed piano, violin and viola teacher and accompanist. My youngest pupil is 6 1/2 and I have several retired pupils. I have heard a young pupil talk about something l have mentioned as “in the olden days,” which amuses me.
I recently had a kidney infection, which the doctor warned me could have had me in hospital and I had Covid last week, which has left me exhausted very easily, but this will soon pass.

Maru Thu 14-Apr-22 14:07:27

25 in my head, 68 in real life grin

Nannina Thu 14-Apr-22 14:15:50

68 and waiting for a hip replacement. I was talking about this to my neighbour (75 and male) and saying I’ve put risers on my sofa so I can get up and down easier and will accept other aids to help me stay independent. He admitted he needs things but won’t have them because they make him look old. Two totally different views- I accept I am getting older, he’s fighting it, both doing what suits us

Sadgrandma Thu 14-Apr-22 14:24:54

LaCrepescule, you are still a spring chicken. Enjoy each day as it comes and don’t dwell on the future. None of us knows what’s round the corner. I am 76 and until last year I was fit and active, working as a volunteer and so I was told, looking very young for my age, then my hip started playing up resulting in a hip replacement in January this year, followed four weeks later by a heart attack.However, I am determined to get fit again and enjoy time with my dh and darling granddaughter. Who knows I might beat the Queen and you’ll have a long way to go LaCrepescule.

Musicgirl Thu 14-Apr-22 14:33:28

Nannina

68 and waiting for a hip replacement. I was talking about this to my neighbour (75 and male) and saying I’ve put risers on my sofa so I can get up and down easier and will accept other aids to help me stay independent. He admitted he needs things but won’t have them because they make him look old. Two totally different views- I accept I am getting older, he’s fighting it, both doing what suits us

Both my husband and I have hearing aids. I welcome mine as I need to be able to hear for my work. I have had problems with my ears most of my life. If I have my hair back it is probably noticeable but I am not worried about it. My husband is much more reluctant to wear his, which is actually much smaller and less noticeable than mine, because he thinks it ages him and that people will see he has a disability. I pointed out that it is no more noticeable than glasses and asked him what he would do if lost any more teeth. He replied that he would replace them. To my mind, false teeth are far more ageing than hearing aids. He is reluctantly wearing it, particularly after we told him that continually asking people to repeat themselves made his hearing loss far more obvious than a hearing aid. I think men can be vainer than women.

Daftbag1 Thu 14-Apr-22 14:42:42

I think I'm in my 90's at least, despite my birth certificate saying I'm 60. My body feels ancient, and my mind is tired, I would welcome death as a peaceful ending.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 14-Apr-22 15:00:04

I am 70 and like most of you feel that time flies past so fast now, and that at best there are only 20 or so years left.

Now and again, the thought of loosing DH crosses my mind, and I push it away from me, as thankfully, as yet, neither of us is ill. The thought that he might have to live through my death, rather than I having to loose him frightens me far more.

I know he would find it unbearable, and I doubt I would be able to prepare him in any helpful way. However, what is to be, will be and it does no good to worry unnecessarily.

That said, I have made my will and left a list, that I update when necessary regarding financial matters etc, so whoever has to deal with the aftermath of my or our deaths isn't left totally in the lurch.

I am determined to enjoy life as fully and as long as possible. I know we all have to die one day, and I hope and pray that getting to that point will not be a long, painful experience.

janthegranx6 Thu 14-Apr-22 15:23:16

It's the approaching 70 syndrome. i really got my knickers in a twist about it and had to have counselling to get through it. Once I'd had 'the' birthday and am now 75 I'm feeling more sanguine, just enjoying life day by day while I still have my health. I've just had the conversation with my partner about 'do not resuscitate'. It's important to get those 'putting your house in order' things out of the way. And don't forget to tell the one's you love that you do love them, while you still have a
chance.

Alioop Thu 14-Apr-22 15:24:26

I'm nearly 56 and never really worry about age, i think more about getting really sick and who would care for me. There is only my sister and I, the last of the family, I'm divorced and she never married and neither of us had kids.
I'm recovering this week after an op and she had to come to stay to help me. I've friends, but they have their own families and I would never expect them to take me on too.
I've heard only this morning another friend has died, he was 58, it's scary because lately they have been my age or younger. I try my best to keep healthy and fit, but you just never know when something will happen, I just try not to think about it.

hilz Thu 14-Apr-22 15:27:24

We may have less tomorrows than we would like and even those are not guaranteed. So I find I am far more spontanious and more able to please myself with out feeling as though I shouldn't. Its still a work in progress though xxx

cupcake1 Thu 14-Apr-22 15:45:50

I’m 71 DH 69. I’m terrified like many on here of dementia, a painful illness even death itself. I do believe in an afterlife and hope I’m right to do so. Had to phone the doctor today as 2nd hip really painful now which really depresses me as it is such a long recovery time post op. First hip replacement was 2018. I know there is a backlog of these sorts of operations in the NHS so goodness knows when that will happen and life is so quickly slipping by it makes me so depressed. I try not to show it to DH or my lovely family but it eats away at me sometimes especially after 2 years of restrictions due to Covid here’s another year out as limited what I can do waiting for the op. No chance of a holiday for 3 months after either, not that I’ve plucked up the courage to do that quite yet! I do give myself a good talking to sometimes as there are so many people worse off than me but it nags away at me always. DH never mentions the subject ever! I’ve often wondered if anyone else thinks like me as it’s not a conversation I have with friends of a similar age so good to know I’m not alone.

Sawsage2 Thu 14-Apr-22 15:52:26

I'm 72 and have mobility problems, I have mobility scooter. I think its mnd but scared of doctors so won't go & couldn't have an mri scan, (brother died of motor neutron age 70, mum had strokes, died 70). But I'm not depressed and see family. Look forward to mum, dad, brother meeting me when the time comes.

Nannapat1 Thu 14-Apr-22 16:17:49

I'm 69, will be 70 the Jubilee weekend.
The realisation that one day I would die first struck me when I was 6-7 but was a fairly fleeting thought. My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was 7 and died when I was 15. During those years I had fairly brief episodes of fear of dying but kept it to myself. When I was 17 I had an episode so bad that I could hardly function but had no professional help. It happened again when I was 20 and then not long after I'd had my first baby . On both occasions I had professional counselling and each episode was a couple of months long.
Since then I've moments where I've realised that I have less time to go than I've already lived but those have been brief.
Curiously, although clearly I am nearer to dying than I was 30-50 years ago, I am now more resigned than terrified, although I can't say that I'm completely comfortable with the thought!
I see death as the end of my existence: no different than before I was born and I find that a hard concept to come to terms with but prefer not to dwell on it.

muse Thu 14-Apr-22 16:18:05

Thank you for starting the thread LaCrepescule .

I'm 72 and am thankful for every day. Especially the sunny ones like today and despite me testing +ive with covid this morning.

My father died suddenly and too young. Well I consider 78 too young. My mother was diagnosed with dementia in her mid sixties and my father gave her full time care, which my brother and I tried to do after he died.

Having met my DH 7 years ago and then marrying him, I want many more years with him but I see every year to come as being probably the last year we have together. I grab each day.
He's the opposite and so optimistic, in believing there are many many more tomorrows for us both.

I don't have a fear of dying but I do fear being a burden to him through illness.

What a variety of feelings there are in this thread. From everyone whether in your 50s or 80s. However, my thoughts are with Daftbag1. I wish I could bring you some joy and comfort.

fritherdog Thu 14-Apr-22 16:37:38

I am 63 and very happy with each day that comes. My MIL, at 89 has complained every day for the last 9 that she has woken up every day and did not die in the night! I am NOT going to be like her. Every day we have is a blessing and we should make the most of them, even if it is only to relax at home. Death comes to all of us when our time is up - we don’t know when so enjoy what you’ve got.

gillgran Thu 14-Apr-22 16:44:48

Lots of differing ages on here, (lots of you seem very young to me!)
I'm 76, "feeling my age" at the moment. I have osteo-arthritis, so rather creaky, ( I did have 2 TKR's 11 & 12 years ago ).
I'm lucky to have my DH, a DS & DD, & 5 DGC, aged between 5 & 20 years.
As some others have said, I don't fear dying, but do worry about the lead up to it, I'd hate to be incapable & a burden.

I won't/can't name names, but am reading all your posts, &thinking of the ones with more than their share of problems.

Fennel Thu 14-Apr-22 16:55:02

Nanascats I too think 80 is the main turning point.
If we get to that age you must be quite strong. And lucky.
After that we're like an old car with parts cracking up and dropping off. Not built to last forever.
This has happened to several of my contemporaries. (80s.)

Grannyeggs Thu 14-Apr-22 16:57:27

75 last weekend. Don’t feel any different inside, but a few creaks and stiffness on the outside. The alarming thing is when I look in the mirror my mother, who died in her 80s ten years ago, seems to be looking out at meshock. But no, I don’t think too much of death, it’s an inevitable fact and comes to all. I take every day at a time and enjoy every minute whilst I’m able to, don’t know what’s round the corner.

FlexibleFriend Thu 14-Apr-22 17:00:42

I'm 67 and used to think I would die young because my mum was only 48 when she died and as I was only 14 and it left a big impression on me. Since then I can't say I think about it much at all. I have an auto immune condition which I developed in my late 50's that has put me in a wheelchair and left me barely able to stand and it's getting worse. On top of that I've had 3 strokes and been told I will no doubt develop vascular dementia. I don't believe them tbh because my brain is fine and even after multiple strokes I recovered well and have no lasting effects. I don't feel like a burden to anyone even though I do rely heavily on my youngest son and Dil, I try to be as self sufficient as possible. It is what it is and when my times up that will be it, I'll certainly have no regrets but I don't think it will be anytime soon and the longer I last the longer I think I'll be around.