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My granddaughter is a challenge

(40 Posts)
MrsPickle Sat 30-Apr-22 21:21:34

She's 9.
A diva. A sunny dancer, but...
she presumes she can do things with my belongings, without asking.
I say no. She gets into a huff (while looking at me).
I ignore her.
She knows I love her, but she tests me/us
Her brother is a different, cerebral, kettle of fish. A WYSIWYG. Wears his heart on his sleeve.
As she leaves, we hug and say, love you.
I love em both.
But she's a challenge.

Elizabeth27 Sat 30-Apr-22 21:36:15

It is the age of testing boundaries and the start of hormonal changes, I would like to say it gets easier but can only say good luck.

BlueBelle Sat 30-Apr-22 21:39:20

No idea what all the alphabet soup means?

VioletSky Sat 30-Apr-22 21:41:04

Normal, never tame that spirit

crazyH Sat 30-Apr-22 21:43:05

I’m presuming WYSIWYG is ‘what you see is what you get’.
And she is the same - WYSIWYG - a little diva maybe, but that’s what she is. She’s only 9….

MissAdventure Sat 30-Apr-22 22:08:51

I wouldn't allow a diva access to my belongings, be they 9 or 90.
So, that would be changing pretty quickly.

geekesse Sat 30-Apr-22 22:16:44

There’s a very fine line between ‘diva’ and ‘brattish’. Make sure she stays on the right side of that line.

ElaineI Sun 01-May-22 00:45:57

They are funny though - grandchildren! So on the way back from swimming DGD (5) says "which is furtherest away? Glasgow or Edinburgh?" Me " furtherest away from where? Here - Musselburgh? Home - Haddington?" Her " No Granny!!! Which is furtherest away?" Me " Well from here Glasgow is furtherest away." Her, crossly "No Granny you don't understand the question I am asking!!!" DGS1 (8) " She means from nowhere". Her " I am just asking which is furtherest away - not from nowhere. Nobody is answering my question!!!" Meanwhile we are stuck in an unexpected queue of temporary 4 way traffic lights and DGS1 is not going to get home and eat anything before football practice after swimming and the man in front has lost the plot and overtaken the person in front of him to skip the red light of the temporary traffic lights causing mayhem. I say "Glasgow", DGS1 says " Glasgow is furtherest away from nowhere", DGD says "I don't know why none of you can answer my question!!!" Once she is in bed, football practice is over and DGS1 is tucking into toast after football practice I discover that Mummy has equally not answered that question correctly the day before. So a challenge for you all - which is furtherest away? Glasgow or Edinburgh?

ElaineI Sun 01-May-22 00:48:15

I may add - the mind boggles at what questions we will get at 13!

sodapop Sun 01-May-22 08:38:13

Your granddaughter is certainly testing the boundaries MrsPickle I think you both need to sit down and decide what those boundaries are and stick to it.
We all have to learn what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.

Audi10 Sun 01-May-22 08:50:32

I would be telling Miss Diva that they are my belongings regardless of wether she goes in a huff! And explaining to her that you cant just take other people’s things just because you want to. She’s probably allowed to do this at her home so thinks it’s ok to do the same at yours!I wouldn’t allow it

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 01-May-22 08:52:07

ElaineI

They are funny though - grandchildren! So on the way back from swimming DGD (5) says "which is furtherest away? Glasgow or Edinburgh?" Me " furtherest away from where? Here - Musselburgh? Home - Haddington?" Her " No Granny!!! Which is furtherest away?" Me " Well from here Glasgow is furtherest away." Her, crossly "No Granny you don't understand the question I am asking!!!" DGS1 (8) " She means from nowhere". Her " I am just asking which is furtherest away - not from nowhere. Nobody is answering my question!!!" Meanwhile we are stuck in an unexpected queue of temporary 4 way traffic lights and DGS1 is not going to get home and eat anything before football practice after swimming and the man in front has lost the plot and overtaken the person in front of him to skip the red light of the temporary traffic lights causing mayhem. I say "Glasgow", DGS1 says " Glasgow is furtherest away from nowhere", DGD says "I don't know why none of you can answer my question!!!" Once she is in bed, football practice is over and DGS1 is tucking into toast after football practice I discover that Mummy has equally not answered that question correctly the day before. So a challenge for you all - which is furtherest away? Glasgow or Edinburgh?

Maybe you should tell her there is no such word as ‘furtherest’.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 01-May-22 08:52:37

Audi10

I would be telling Miss Diva that they are my belongings regardless of wether she goes in a huff! And explaining to her that you cant just take other people’s things just because you want to. She’s probably allowed to do this at her home so thinks it’s ok to do the same at yours!I wouldn’t allow it

Nor would I.

Chestnut Sun 01-May-22 08:59:31

Oh yes, the big huff. My granddaughter is now 7 but has been doing that for years. If you even gently tell her not to do something she gets the huff, sometimes walks off in a real sulk. When she was younger she'd say 'don't look at me!'. I think she's getting better though.

MawtheMerrier Sun 01-May-22 11:04:19

Maybe you should tell her there is no such word as ‘furtherest’

?????

paddyann54 Sun 01-May-22 11:52:52

Well ,my GD's are welcome to play with my jewellery ,use my makeup and use my walk in wardrobe for dressing up clothes ,they also help themselves from the sweetie drawer and decide what they want for dinner .
My 12 year old lived with us (until covid ) for half of every week so considers this her home ,the other girls are always desperate to come to stay and I love to have them anytime as they are the best company .Its a laugh a minute when they're here and a privilege to have them.
My sister has two children and only one GC now grown up,she says she has never envied anyone anything in her life,but by god she envies me my wee people
.5 talented ,funny ,bright and gorgeous GC all with good hearts who I'll enjoy while I can ..
Stuff is just stuff

kittylester Sun 01-May-22 12:23:44

I agree with paddy.

Are you sure there isn't a word 'furtherest' - seems logical to me. grin

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 01-May-22 12:40:20

Farthest?

Franbern Sun 01-May-22 13:18:27

Yes, stuff maybe just stuff!! But,surely, all children need to learn and understand that others people's stuff may only be used with that person's permission.

I would be totally furious if anyone else, child, adult whether or not a relation to me actually walked into my room and went through my wardrobe, etc.

How on earth do such children learn not just to take what is not theirs? If they do it in your home, do they also do this is shops??

The rules of society is what we, as adults - should be teaching children. Children who are permitted to run riot in their own or their g.parents homes and not going to welcomed into anyone else's home.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 01-May-22 13:24:51

Couldn’t agree more.

Audi10 Sun 01-May-22 13:27:39

Children learn by having boundaries!

Yammy Sun 01-May-22 13:27:44

Audi10

I would be telling Miss Diva that they are my belongings regardless of wether she goes in a huff! And explaining to her that you cant just take other people’s things just because you want to. She’s probably allowed to do this at her home so thinks it’s ok to do the same at yours!I wouldn’t allow it

I would be as well. my GC would never go through my things, they don't go through their parents either.
Who knows what you might have in a drawer, tablets come to mind though I always put mine on top of the wardrobe before they come.
If they think they can have anything they want what do they do in a shop or at school.
It may be I,m old fashioned but I believe children have to have boundaries.

Hetty58 Sun 01-May-22 13:52:57

She sounds normal enough for a nine-year-old - apart from the lack of respect for your belongings.

My (few) treasured possessions are locked away in a cabinet. Anything else is part of this indoor playground for kids. I never, ever want to give the impression that, to me, things are more important than people.

I certainly got that feeling from my mother - having been brought up in an impossibly clean and tidy house/museum, filled with antique furniture and family heirlooms - so was filled with dread if anything was scratched or damaged. I'd feel very small and insignificant indeed as she appeared to love her special vase more than her daughter!

paddyann54 Sun 01-May-22 14:06:53

My GC have always been very well behaved and know the difference between granny's house and visiting with other people they dont know so well
.In fact I was once congratulated on their behaviour as we left church after a christening service.I had refused the offer to take them into the creche they were 3 and 6 at the time so they sat quietly and sang along with the hymns when everyone else was.the only difference was the 3 year old sang Twinkle Twinkle little star on a loop for every hymn ...lol.Several people said how well behaved they were as we were leaving.
I was always able to take my own children anywhere from avery young age,they never touched things or spoke out of turn and I could take them anywhere ,including restaurants from a a very young age .
They certainly understand that nothing material is as important as they are to us and things aren't destroyed just played with

welbeck Sun 01-May-22 14:28:50

i remember years ago visiting a girl at college who shared a house with 2 or 3 other girls.
one of them had the habit of going in her room, in her absence and borrowing her things.
this annoyed the first girl but as she was from a more affluent background, she found it difficult to express how she felt.
the other girl would say, oh you've got such nice things. she kind of made her feel guilty for having them.
in fact she didn't mind sharing, but didn't like her entering her room in her absence and taking things without asking.
the other girl couldn't see what she did was wrong.