Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Abusive Son

(28 Posts)
Edge26 Wed 11-May-22 09:57:37

I would like some advise please.
My son is very abusive to me on occasions especially when he is trying to play me off with my young GS's.
Considering I look after them 2 after them 2 afternoons a week when they are at work it isn't enough.
The other day he said to me I front of my 4 year old GS, " Nanny is horrible" How upset I was.
I said to my Son " I'm going to report you for all this abusive behaviour " but who do I report him to.
It has got to the stage where I don't ever want to talk to him ever again. Can't talk to DIL about this as she is hot and cold and I wouldn't trust her anyway.
Any advise please.

Edge26 Wed 11-May-22 22:43:47

Thank you all for your lovely comments and advice. To be honest I believe I will be estranged from my GS's and perhaps it will be for the best for me as yes I have to think about my Partner and also my health but it will also break my heart. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive my Son and DIL if it does happen.

M0nica Thu 12-May-22 07:09:24

Why not ring the Elder abuse line given earlier in this thread and talk your situation through with them.

In the meanwhile why not start gently to distance yourself from your son by, perhaps, not justifing anything you cannot do. if he asks for extra help. Just say you cannot do it.

Ring the advice line and if your son gets abusive again. Just say to him that he is abusive and that you are seeking advice about your legal rights. Actually do that anyway, it would be difficult for him to prove whether you had or not.

Then make it clear to him that your help with the children is dependent on his good behaviour and that if he cannot be courteous then you cannot provide care.