Gnawing thoughts at the back of my mind

I do understand the idea of earning and spenfing your own money but actually we don't care who earned it. We both spend it as though it's ours, which it is.
As M0nica says, it is family income.

Doodledog says
I have always been financially independent, and that has mattered to me, both on a personal level and because I believe that everyone should contribute to the society to which they belong.
- I find this a bit odd, as though those people who are not financially independent are not contributing to society.
They may be contributing a lot more than another person who is working.
Which jobs do you think are contributing to society I wonder? Is it true of all and any job?

I meant contributing financially - paying tax and NI towards health, education, pensions - that sort of thing. This argument is not for this thread, though. We are all simply saying what we feel is right for us.

You haven't quoted the bit where I said very specifically that we are all different, and what would suit me (or bother me) would not be right for others.

I would say if you've got the urge to do that little bit extra, why not help out at a food bank or a mums and toddlers group? There are so many people who really need help and advice from someone with life experience and it will open your eyes. You've got lots to offer by way of being a conscientious person and the sense of doing something new will be very rewarding for you personally. You might make new friends, add to your life CV and come home feeling like you made a difference. Go for it! :-)

On my retirement course, we were told "You are going on the longest holiday of your life"
Not really true if you are running the home.
But it is a time for you to relax and spend some time on things that interest you.

But if you have time and energy available after that and your hobbies, you could join your local U3A, or groups at a local church.
Charities and the like, are always short of volunteers, so you could put something back into the community, if that is your wish.
It might be something fairly basic, like washing up for a local senior citizens, or disability group, helping, or fund raising for a charity. Whatever you want to do.
We are both involved in: church, animal charity, local hobby club and U3A groups in various ways. (Givers as well as receivers)

Doodledog

I meant contributing financially - paying tax and NI towards health, education, pensions - that sort of thing. This argument is not for this thread, though. We are all simply saying what we feel is right for us.

You haven't quoted the bit where I said very specifically that we are all different, and what would suit me (or bother me) would not be right for others.

Well thanks for the clarification., doodledog - I didn't quote all of your post(s) because it was this one bold statement I took issue with.

I'm happy with anyone's choice so you feeling it's important to have financial independence is fair enough but you did say that you
believe that everyone should contribute to the society to which they belong. This is the bit I felt was rather judgemental if I'm honest.
I know now you meant financially contribute but it then makes me wonder about people on very low wages under the tax threshold, those in reciept of benefits etc.

Sometimes people with nothing (or who are not financially independent) do give such a lot in non-financial ways.

Not trying to "pick a fight" here, just feel the need to flag up that contributing comes in many forms.

Without wishing to tread on Doodledog’s toes here, I have seen her say this many times and explain that in her book it is ‘each according to his means’. If we have the means it is right that we contribute financially to the society we live in, which doesn’t run on thin air, as well as making such other contributions as each of us is able to offer.

I think the OP is regretting retiring too soon, and to be honest, her life does sound rather without purpose. Voluntary work, a part-time job or a course of study are solutions.

Germanshepherdsmum

Without wishing to tread on Doodledog’s toes here, I have seen her say this many times and explain that in her book it is ‘each according to his means’. If we have the means it is right that we contribute financially to the society we live in, which doesn’t run on thin air, as well as making such other contributions as each of us is able to offer.

Thank you, GSM. Exactly so.

I don't want to derail the question from the OP, but in fairness to GSM I wanted to do more than simply nod at her post in my defence . The full saying is ' From each according to ability: to each according to need', which I interpret to mean that if we all contribute what we are able to, there would be enough for everyone, and nobody will do without decent housing, education and pensions.

Of course not everyone is able to contribute, for all sorts of reasons; but IMO those who can should, as in a society like ours, we all benefit from the things that are bought from the proceeds of tax, NI and so on. Those who need more, whether because of illness, disability or the need to care for others who are ill or disabled (or for other reasons) should get more out, as should those who are otherwise unable to work.

This is the principle on which the NHS, the education and benefits systems, and much of our society is based. The alternative is a 'pay at point of use' system, which would mean that those who were unable to contribute would get nothing, or one where those who work subsidise those who choose not to (which does not mean those who are unable to).

In the context of this thread, I mentioned in passing that this was important to me, which is why I understand the OPs point of view. I went on to say, however, that when it comes to retirement, time together is more important than money, and that in any case the opinions of others (including mine) are not important to her decision, as everyone's views are different.

If anyone wants to read that as judgemental, there's not a lot I can do. We were asked our opinions about the OP's question, and I gave mine. I don't see it as judgemental, but again, we are all different.

I wonder, could you be experiencing a real desire to work and earn? Now DH has retired he could walk the dog and do the housework and cooking, would you relish the opportunity to work? Why not give it a go?

Doodledog’s point about our collective responsibility to work, so pay taxes and national insurance doesn’t seem judgemental to me. It’s another thread but, its mainly women who either stop work, or reduce hours when children or responsibility for care of elderly parents arrive.
That leaves women permanently disadvantaged where earnings and particularly pensions are concerned. Unfair and discriminatory

I understand. I finished work at age 42 as it worked better for our family situation. I still feel now, 16 years later, that I should have a job, despite doing voluntary work and being very involved in the care of my grandchildren! I guess it’s just very deeply ingrained. But do you know what? You’ve earned your rest, enjoy it?

You really only should look to come up with a stream of income if that is your desire. Your husband is quite happy with how things are so not a problem there. If there is something you could do which would give you genuine pleasure well just go for it!

I feel no guilt in retiring several years earlier than I intended whilst DH continues to work.I have a smaller pension pot than him and whilst he was very lucky to inherit some money from his parents my family had very little so nothing there.And wouldn't have expected or relied on inheritance. That's a bonus. However I did work very hard for 40 years and at least twice brought the money in when DH lost his business in a recession. Then was made redundant. I walk or dogs,take care of the garden,was helping his elderly aunt before she died and my very frail mum before she went into a care home.So at the moment I don't even feel the need to look for anything.And DH was the one to encourage me to stop work and enjoy life more. Try to stop feeling guilty.Who knows what's around the corner?My SIL died of cancer before she had time to retire and relax so make the most if it and find joy in everyday simple things .I can recommend it !