Are You a Lady? ?

ixion

StarDreamer
The receptionist might never refer to a specific man as
a "man", always referring to a specific man as "a gentleman".

There again, she might not?
?

Now if I had suggested that the receptionist is female, well ...

Germanshepherdsmum

I really don’t understand, SD. You said that if the receptionist referred to you as a man it may sound as if there’s a problem. What problem might there be? We’ve already established that she might call a plumber a gentleman. Please clarify!

What if the receptionist got it wrong? Maybe a woman/lady after all..

Caleo

In the early days of feminism it was better to be a woman than a lady. I still feel 'lady' patronises a woman.

Can you explain how you feel it patronises a woman please?

For example, a female student knocks at the staff room door in a university.

A man who is in the staff room goes to the door and opens it.

The female student asks if she could speak with Mr. Smith.

The man turns and calls out, into the room,

"Mr Smith, there is a lady asking to speak with you."

Do you regard that man as patronising (whatever you mean by that) the female student by referring to her as a lady?

If so, why?

It seems to me, male, as a perfectly correct, polite, way for the man to have behaved.

I genuinely would like to know how that is perceived to be wrong.

It’s frequently heard in London.

I really do live in a different world lol.I've never heard anyone called "squire" it would probab;y be an insult if it was said,calling someone a MAN is normal and when I was growing up every man in Glasgow was called Jimmy by workmates and other men in pubs and in the street ...I'm sure Billy Connelly did a great story about it

I really don’t understand, SD. You said that if the receptionist referred to you as a man it may sound as if there’s a problem. What problem might there be? We’ve already established that she might call a plumber a gentleman. Please clarify!

StarDreamer
The receptionist might never refer to a specific man as
a "man", always referring to a specific man as "a gentleman".

There again, she might not?
?

StarDreamer

The receptionist might never refer to a specific man as "a man", always referring to a specific man as "a gentleman".

Is it me, or ?‍♀️?

Calling a man a gentleman is cringingly twee.

In the early days of feminism it was better to be a woman than a lady. I still feel 'lady' patronises a woman.

The receptionist might never refer to a specific man as "a man", always referring to a specific man as "a gentleman".

So what ‘problem’ do you infer if the receptionist says ‘man’ rather than ‘gentleman’?

No, that does not follow.

The receptionist might well say "The gentleman who has come to fix the water leak has arrived."

So someone referred to as a ‘man’ might be ‘only’ a tradesman?

Ali08 wrote Isn't it odd, though, that men don't seem to mind either way how we refer to them?

I have quite often been referred to as a gentleman.

Go to reception somewhere.

The receptionist either goes to an archway, or opens a door, and speaks, or telephones, and says something like "There's a gentleman in reception asking about (whatever), could you have a word with him please?"

Using "man" rather than "gentleman" might sound rather as if there is a problem, in my opinion.

FannyCornforth

Hello!
(No, don’t worry, it’s not about toilets.)

What do you think about being called a lady?

I’ve found myself using the plural on a few occasions on here;
and I always slightly feel as if I should apologise, or ask permission.
In fact, in the past, I have done the latter.

As a young 80’s feminist, I used to really dislike the word; and I would berate my poor mother for using the word (what a flipping sanctimonious child I was!)

But now, I don’t mind lady at all, in fact I like it. Perhaps we should reclaim it…

So what do you think? Yay or nay?
(Now would be a fantastic time for the Mumsnet voting buttons - forget a like button, we need those bad boys)

Thank you

Aha!
I think it sounds better to say something like, 'listen to the lady when she talks to you,' rather than 'listen to the woman when she talks to you'.
As a child, I'd hear people referencing ladies and think they were somehow above the adults I knew, while woman seemed somehow fitting for female adults I knew!
Like being in a Catherine Cookson novel and the lady being gentry.
Isn't it odd, though, that men don't seem to mind either way how we refer to them?
I'm not really bothered, as long as people are being polite to me.

Yammy

Joseanne

I had a proper double barrelled maiden name back in the day, but I was never no lady!

I worked with someone who had a double-barreled sername she was told by the head to choose one of them to be called by.
A few years later I moved away and then back to the same place of work. In the meantime, the Head whose husband had been a labour MP had changed into a Lady. What a laugh we had she insisted we called her Lady G at work.
As usual, I couldn't keep quiet when told to call her this and asked my friend if I had to curtsy as well, she popped her head around a door and said "Yes .... and you can tug your forelock as well if you want".
We both made a quick exist to the loos for a laugh.

Thanks for the reminder of that song Fanny.

Ha I had forgotten that discussion Fanny. I so loved that song and the character

I had a proper double barrelled maiden name back in the day, but I was never no lady!

Hello Galaxy
I thought of you yesterday. Woman’s Hour included a rather nice rendition of ‘There are Worse Thigs I Could Do’.
I remember us discussing it a while back.
Now she most certainly wasn’t a lady

Nothing wrong with some healthy cynicism now and again.

Whatever, SD.

I'd still call it cynicism

ixion

Why should he not be saying
'Well, Squire, you've got a cracking little banger there, should see both you and me out at this rate".

Well he could be.

My reasoning may well have applied the fallacy of the undistributed middle.