Oh dear, I do feel that I am being unreasonable, but I just feel so hurt at not being heard.
I have no siblings myself, but have four children, my eldest has a gorgeous 9mo baby, a loving supportive husband and no mortgage. I feel blessed that she is having such a different experience as a new parent to me.
For some reason, I want her to hear my story about when I was a mother to her, when she was the same age as her little baby. I think this is something to do with me being an immigrant and feeling very isolated.
She knows but refuses to know that her dad cheated when I was a new mother, and further, he told me that he and his girlfriend had never used birth control or protection. (The aspect of birth control is not something I would share with my dd, ie she could have had a half-sibling.). That aspect mattered to me of course.
We were married for 6 years when this happened (eventually divorced after 33 years.). I didn't know at the time, but he took my, my baby girl, his girlfriend, and her young daughter (not his), he took us all to the zoo together.
I don't know why I want my daughter to listen. I suppose it is because--at the time--it felt like he was cheating on not just me but his baby daughter. Taking time out of his life to pursue a separate relationship.
I accept that I have been triggered by her gorgeous daughter, and feeling so happy for her that her husband is supportive and there for her. I won't ever bring this up again with my daughter. I accept that to want her understanding is inappropriate and immature of me.
What are your kind thoughts on the matter? Thank you!
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Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.
Good Morning Good Friday 29th March 2024
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