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Should I interfere with son's relationship

(86 Posts)
Sara1954 Mon 25-Jul-22 20:28:17

I certainly wouldn’t want to get into anything deep, but I would probably tell him to buck his ideas up and spoil the girl a bit.
As I said, he would most likely ignore me, but he certainly wouldn’t take any offence.

M0nica Mon 25-Jul-22 20:20:34

I can disccuss anything with DS, but I have always chosen never to discuss his personal relationships. It has always struck me as an intimacy too far and a subject that should not be discussed between parent and child, unless brought up by the person, considered to need help - and even then, I would be very wary of encouraging them, possibly at a time when they are very upset, because they might talk about things that with retrospect they wished they hadn't. Better to direct them to a Counsellor.

Sara1954 Mon 25-Jul-22 20:06:54

I probably would, but we have the sort of relationship where we say things to each other without taking the slightest offence.
Obviously he wouldn’t take any notice of me, but it wouldn’t stop me trying.

Pammie1 Mon 25-Jul-22 20:04:35

You would be stepping into a minefield. It must be difficult for you, having seen his first marriage break up, but best to stay out of it.

M0nica Mon 25-Jul-22 20:04:00

He is a big boy now. Cut the apron strings and the umbilical cord and let him lead his life as he will. If he messes it up, then tough, he has to learn from the experience, or perhaps not.

Anything you do or say will only make a bad situation worse.

Summerlove Mon 25-Jul-22 20:01:10

Stay so far out of it.

Your instincts are kind - but neither of them will thank you for interfering.

Urmstongran Mon 25-Jul-22 19:59:07

Stay out of it.

Madgran77 Mon 25-Jul-22 19:55:55

Don't say anything. Get to know her, be friendly, suggest a coffee together. Normal things to do to make someone welcome. Make yourself available and wait. |If she or he wants to talk they will.

But it is their relationship

rosie1959 Mon 25-Jul-22 19:54:34

Definitely leave them to it

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 25-Jul-22 19:54:21

Don’t say anything, he is 30 and he has to be responsible for his relationships. Please don’t make any suggestions to ‘help’ him.

Greg37 Mon 25-Jul-22 19:52:50

My 30 something son was divorced after 3 years of marriage because his wife had an affair. He is now in a new relationship with a lovely girl but I'm scared it will all go wrong again. I know he loves her but I'm afraid that he's not working hard enough on their relationship. He doesn't treat her or take her out very often. I've tried to suggest things but he says she's ok with things. Recently they seem to spend more time with separate friends. I'm worried that she might leave him if he doesn't value her more. What should I do- ask if things are ok or leave them to it?